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Newspaper
Monticello Express
Location
Monticello, Iowa, United States of America
Date
Nov 04, 1880
Page
2
A dream unfolds with an orchard stroll disrupted by a thunderstorm and a bizarre menagerie a nineteen headed bear a monkey with a glowing nose and a distant speaker in a county long flight from a tree ends in a fall and awakening at home stemming from a newspaper account at the end of a dream report from the Buston Post.
In 1879 Mrs. Redcar narrates her rise from Beauty to social centerpiece as her sister Matilda pushes her and Charley toward fashion. An omnibus to Piccadilly, a chance encounter with the Duchess of Cranberry, and a swinging party propel her into high society while newspapers tout the tale.
An 19th century style note envisions artificial locomotion replacing quadrupeds and even railways. A Colonel Beaumont allegedly invented a noiseless air pump powered tank on wheels with a driver on top that hauled twelve tons twenty miles on a single charge.
An aged Wisconsin Sun column urges farmers to view autumn as practical time for building sheds and stables, clearing rubbish, and protecting stock. It warns against delaying tasks, notes winter shelter reduces feed needs, and stresses mice and pests from fallen grass around young apple trees.
The piece urges treating hogs as climate sensitive animals providing warm dry quarters clean bedding and abundant fat producing feed like corn in winter. It notes water salt coal ashes and gating feed to temperature, warns against exposure and weight loss, and suggests soured vegetables or slop when warm weather reduces appetite.
Practical notes cover cleaning with kerosene and borax, mulching crops like buckwheat and clover, and making meals such as Russian Salad and potted ham. Also included are a method to prevent rusty nails, a brittle tale of the 1220 sarcophagus of Roger of Tus cany, and a New York fund aided Graceville Irish settlers in Minnesota.
The Cleveland Penny Press presents a testimonial from Druggist E. A. Schellentrager of 717 St. Clair Street praising Hamburg Drops as a universal blood purifier. He notes their marked efficacy and growing demand, while the piece meanders into a comic aside about sanded paint and a match.
A Chicago Inter-Ocean column debates a hypothetical nominee for the presidency praising St Jacobs Oil as the safest and best remedy. The piece argues party creed or denomination should not affect a candidacy and notes influential citizens praising the product.
A man named Dxone Most asked a Galveston pastor if the biblical doctrine that a man and wife are one is true. He urged the pastor to attend a late gathering on Abene L where Bradder Bones and his wife Sukey, both drunk, would be making noise to see if he would swear to the claim.
An 19th century classifieds fragment promoting Parson's Improve Ink sample offer for 30 cents from F H Stoddard of Northampton Massachusetts. It also advertises Taane Thompson eye Water fever tonic and Rogting and Russia Balm claiming broad use and trusted efficacy.
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