Quips and Vignettes from Monticello Express Humor Page
A string of wry lines and jests from the Monticello Express humor column touches on war and cholera, love and frost, charity at home, office boy mottoes, tobacco substitutes, and social quirks. It also notes a legless porch climber’s arrest and playful quips about bachelors and ball games.
Nocturnal Infant Cry Spurs Wakeful Husband
A brief remark notes that a baby's cry at night stirs a man awake quickly, prompting swift action to wake his wife. The line reflects on parental responsiveness and sleep disruption caused by infant needs.
Fashionable dress extravagance persists in reports
The claim that extravagance in women's dress has ceased to be fashionable does not align with observed facts, with evidence suggesting continued emphasis on ornate attire and style in society.
Paying as you go may hinder progress in long run
The remark notes that someone who pays as he goes might not advance as far as others, yet this approach may suit him best given his situation and priorities.
Nebraska Man Faces Sixteenth Surgery at Hospital
A Nebraska man undergoes his sixteenth major operation at a hospital as his case draws hopeful attention to his fight against a long running illness.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Nebraska
Banquet for 1000 at Woolworth Building raises curiosity
Report notes 1,000 men dined on the twenty seventh floor of the 57 story Woolworth building. The piece then mentions a discovery that laughing gas may be self administered and suggests grouches may profit from it.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Woolworth
Joyriding Cure Serum Suggested by Opinionated Muse
A playful editorial riffs on curing social ills with serums and mocks modern distractions. It lampoons street rail accidents and movie theater pleasures, jokes about military terms and a Columbia professor calling for teachers to unionize. The piece ends with a swipe at unionized instruction sparking youth strikes.
New York trims fronts of overhanging buildings
New York moves to shave the fronts of costly structures that project into sidewalks. The measure sets a precedent that could alarm property owners citywide. Meanwhile women cling to long hatpins as hats shrink to dinky sizes. A ruby egg finding is seen as a possible ploy to boost summer market for CBE.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
New York
CBE
Admirals Clash in Rome Spark Unprofessional Street Brawl
Two admirals met in Rome and engaged in a lively scrimmage that escalated into a land fight before bystanders separated them. The incident drew attention to conduct unbecoming of officers in public.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Rome
Crowd Pleasures Amid Global Greens and Constraints
A quirky note on the desire to stand among people while facing modern limits and the quirky allure of fresh greens like green onions. The author muses on social gathering and everyday pleasures in current times.
Agitations for a Better Word Than Hello in Telephony
Readers debate a preferred greeting as a humane improvement over the standard hello. The piece notes calls for a more elegant term to ease telephone conversations and reduce the irritation often sparked by the current salutation.
Women win ballot and jury exemption in Alaska
Alaskans grant women the ballot and exemption from jury duty signaling a shift toward broader suffrage. The move aligns with progressive reforms and expands civic participation for women in the territory.
Iowa Sunday School Association Holds 48th Convention at Burlington
One thousand delegates from Hawkeye state Sunday schools converge in Burlington June 3 to 5 for the 48th annual Iowa Sunday School convention. Notables include Hugh Cork and W C Pearce. special trains planned by Black Hawk Polk and Mahaska counties. post event travel to Zurich for the Seventh World Sunday School Convention.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Burlington
Hawkeyedom
Iowa Sunday School Association
Black Hawk
Polk
Mahaska
Commercial Club
Hugh Cork
Chicago
S. S
Ilinois
W. C. Pearce
International S. §. Ass'n
W. J
Zurch
Switzerland
Iowa
Willow Valley club farmers debate profitable livestock mix
At a Willow Valley club meeting successful stock feeders discussed converting hay and grain into meat. They concluded sheep yield higher returns than hogs, hogs outperform cattle, and alfalfa is the most profitable grass to grow.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Logan
Willow Valley Club
Auto crash near Rockwell City kills 19 year old driver
Ed Falk of Rockwell City is dead after a Sunday automobile accident when his car swerved off the grade, overturned, and pinned him. Irene Huff Clara Huff and Ida Goetz were in the car. the two women escaped injury.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Rockwell City
Ed Falk
Falk
Irene
Clara Huff
Ida Goetz
Buttermaker Named Inspector for Northwest Iowa
L. P. Anderson, five years at Algona Cooperative creamery, named government state food and dairy inspector for northwest Iowa. Salary $1,600 and expenses. Territory covers nine northwest Iowa counties with headquarters in Spencer.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Algona
L. P. Anderson
Algona Cooperative Creamery
Northwest
Iowa
Northwest Iowa
Spencer
Regatta Entries Grow for Keokuk Mississippi Race
The M V P A race committee reports the fastest list of regatta entries for a Mississippi event at Keokuk on August 29. They have added this day to the three days of racing already planned.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Keokuk
Mississippi
High School Building Burns in Iowa Falls Fire
The Iowa Falls high school was destroyed by a fire with an estimated loss of 15000 dollars. Fire drills went smoothly as students evacuated before the blaze was located.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Iowa Falls
Schaub Accepts Philosophy Chair At Northwestern
Dr. E L Schaub professor of philosophy at the University of Iowa accepts the head of the philosophy department post at Northwestern University in Iowa City
Friends' Programme Fixed for Earlham Assembly
The nineteenth annual meeting of the Christian Workers' assembly, a Friends' church state group, will be held at Mazi Lam June 16 20.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Friends
Earlham
The
Christian Workers’ Assembly
Friends' Church
Mazi Lam
Church Planned at Albion to Seat 300
The Presbyterian church in Albion plans to construct a $10,000 church this summer with seating for 300. The project shows the community’s commitment to growth and worship space.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Albion
Marshalltown
Presbyterian Church of Albion
State College Offers Courses for Rural School Teachers
Iowa State College plans to aid public schools in adopting the 1915 law by adding a six week summer session course for teachers covering agriculture home economics and manual training to help implement the new requirements statewide.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Ames
Iowa State College
Lineman cut in two near East Dubuque tragedy
John Gillman a 23 year old Burlington railroad lineman at East Dubuque was cut in two by a passenger train. He was struck as he attempted to cross the track while others watched in shock at the scene. The accident followed a day of cold weather and poor visibility.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Dubuque
John Gillman
Burlington Railroad
East Dubuque
Knott Bond Stands After Supreme Court Decision
Henry Knott city marshal of Gravity faces murder indictment in Bedford. The supreme court allows the $10,000 bond to stand after certiorari writ application.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Knott
Creston
Henry Knott
Bedford
Supreme Court
Mrs Watt Celebrates 600 Spring Chicks in Highland Township
Mrs H B Watt of Highland township reports 600 chicks hatched this spring are lively and healthy. The farm announce the large brood as a promising sign for poultry.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Creston
H. B. Watt
Highland Township
Mayor Leeny Arrests Ex Wife in Intoxication Charge
Ottumwa mayor Ottumwa’s space claiming figure arrested his former wife Minnie Leeny on intoxication charges. Leeny has aided the police since his April inauguration and plans to commit Mrs Leeny to the inebriate asylum.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Ottumwa
Pat Leeny
Minnie Leeny
Leeny
Train Crew Blamed For Wreck At Toddville
Officials say the extra freight crew caused the head on collision with the Rock Island passenger train near Toddville injuring 27 people. Most victims were Center Point shoppers. Rev. George Parsatt Cedar Rapids 69 sustained the most serious injuries.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Cedar Rapids
Toddville
Rock Island
Center Point
George Parsatt
Waverly Willow Lawn Farm Sees Sugar Beets and Corn Plantings
Waverly Willow Lawn farm of 251 acres plans 75 acres of sugar beets for Iowa Sugar and 60 acres of sweet corn for Kelley Canning. The farm has 35 acres of seeding clover from last year and 40 acres of oats with clover. It also maintains 52 registered Jersey cows.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Waverly
Willow Lawn
Iowa Sugar Company
Kelley Canning Factory
Missionary Seeks $1000 Gift for Gospel Wagon
The Rev. M. H. Levit superintendent of the Wall Street Mission placed a want ad in Sioux City business chances asking for a $1,000 donation to fund an automobile gospel wagon. The vehicle would travel the district delivering the gospel message to people at their doors.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Sioux City
M. H. Levit
Wall Street
No Cadets Encampment For State University
Iowa City reports there will be no military camp for the state university cadets this spring due to lack of tents. General Guy Logan refused future tent accommodation citing shipping costs and expense.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Iowa City
State University
Guy Logan
Teacher Killed by Lightning at Benton County School
During an electric storm the district two school house near Blairs town was struck by lightning killing the teacher instantly. Miss Ella Stuckenbruck aged 19 was the only daughter of Herman Stuckenbruck of Belle Plaine. A pupil was rendered unconscious.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Marengo
Benton County
Blairs
Ella Stuckenbruck
Herman Stuckenbruck
Belle Piaine
Hunting Forecast for Humboldt-Duck Season in Iowa
North central Iowa hunters anticipate a stronger next fall due to late season timing and widespread water in low areas. The abundance of standing water preserves many waterfowl breeding spots, promising better sport than last season.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Iowa
Ames Year End Plans Mark 1913 Graduation
Ames ISU prepares for graduation week with the 1913 class of more than 260, the largest yet. The week opens May 31 with the senior promenade in the state gymnasium as part of a crowded commencement schedule.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Ames
Iowa State College
State Gymnasium
Young Iowa Farmer Found Dead in Apparent Suicide
Ida Grove reports Robert C. Menzer a young local farmer was discovered by his wife with fatal head injuries from a shotgun. The couple had married just a year earlier and the weapon lay by his side as the apparent cause.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Ida Grove
Robert C. Menzer
Here
Kenman Named Engineer for Chickasaw County
Chickasaw county supervisors hire A. F. Kenman of New Hampton as county engineer and order a court house room furnished and equipped for his office.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Kenman
New Hampton
Chickasaw
A. F. Kenman
Court House
Caledonian Society Planning Cedar Falls Branch
Cedar Falls residents forming a Caledonian society to unite Scotch American citizens. Such societies have risen nationwide in the past three years as social and cultural groups.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Caledonian Society
CedarFalls
Cedar Falls
Prominent Farmer M. V. Sanderlin Dies After Fall
M V Sanderlin, a well known farmer near Cedar Falls, lies near death from a fall at his home. He is badly bruised and suffering a concussion of the brain.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Cedar Falls
M. V. Sanderlin
Nes
Editors End Cedar Falls Partnership in Gazette Split
Jack Rasmussen and John Borresen, owners of the Cedar Falls Weekly Gazette, have dissolved their partnership. Rasmussen will continue the Gazette, the oldest newspaper in Black Hawk county.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Cedar Falls
Jack Rasmussen
John Borresen
Weekly Gazette
Gazette
Black Hawk County
Girl Hangs Self In Barn Near Liscomb
Miss Altha Fiscus aged 20 daughter of a prominent farmer killed herself by hanging in the barn at her Liscomb home ten miles north of Marshalltown.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Marshalltown
Altha Fiscus
Liscomb
Here
Vesuvius Beached After Self-Inflicted Hole From Torpedo
The dynamite cruiser Vesuvius with 560 seamen aboard was struck by a practice Whitehead torpedo that bore a two inch hole below the waterline. Chief gunner Thomas Smith commanded its beaching at Hope Island Narragansett Bay, then refloated and towed to the torpedo station. Pumps kept running as the ship ran aground to prevent sinking.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Newport
R. 1
Vesuvius
Thomas Smith
Hope Island
Narragansett Bay
Smith
Big Muddy Gets His Farm Atchison Farmer Loses All Land
Joseph Frakes, former owner of a 260 acre farm near Atchison Kansas, will cultivate a rented farm this year after the Missouri river washed away his entire property. Two months ago twenty acres remained but the last acre recently dropped into the river.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Atchison, Kas
Joseph Frakes
Flagler Dies After Illness. Built Miami Key West Rail Line
Henry M. Flagler, noted railroad builder and Standard Oil associate, died in West Palm Beach after three months of illness. Born in Canandaigua New York in 1830, he rose from a Michigan clerk to oil refining with Rockefeller, Andrews & Flagler and helped found Standard Oil. His Florida ventures included the Florida East Coast Railway and hotels, with his crowning achievement the Miami to Key West railroad extension.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
West Palm Beach
Fla
Henry M. Flagler
Mr. Flagler
Canandaigua
N. Y
Orleans County
Michigan
Saginaw
Mich
Cleveland
Rockefeller, Andrews & Flagler
Standard Oil Company
Flagler
Great Corporation
California Alien Land Bill Signed by Governor Johnson
May 21 in Sacramento Gov. Hiram W. Johnson signed the alien land bill amid Japanese protests and opposition from President Wilson and Secretary Bryan. The measure takes effect August 10, 90 days after adjournment, May 12, and the governor defended it as a historic alien law. Washington then delivered the U S reply to Japan via Viscount Chinda and cabled a copy to Tokyo for the mikado's government.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Sacramento
Cal
Hiram W. Johnson
Japan
California
Wilson
Bryan
Johnson
Washington
United States
Viscount Chinda
Bryan Monday
Tokio
Divorce decree frees actress Fritzi Scheff from John Fox Jr
A final divorce decree was signed by Supreme Court Justice Keogh in White Plains on Friday, freeing actress Fritzi Scheff from novelist John Fox Jr. The suit was not contested.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
New York
Fritzi Scheff
John Fox, Jr
Supreme Court
Keogh
White Plains
Albany
N. Y
Sulzer Friday
Feley-Walker
Geneva
Switzerland
Peter of
Balkans
Turkey
Fond du Lac
Wis
M. A. Hoffman
Campbellsport
Paula
Chicago & Northwestern
Memphis
Tenn
Mrs Longstreet Protests Postmaster Removal in Washington
Mrs Helen D Longstreet of Gainesville Georgia testified before the Senate Post Office and Post Roads subcommittee to protest her removal as postmistress of Gainesville, replaced by a Wilson administration appointee.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Washington
Helen D. Longstreet
Gainesville
Wilson
Senate Post Office and Post Roads Committee
Daring Train Robbery Near Johannesburg on Rail Line
A lone bandit boarded a mail car on a train between Johannesburg and Cape Town on Tuesday and escaped with $10,000 in the daring holdup.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Johannesburg
South Africa
Cape Town
Felt Earth Shock at Helena
Helena Montana May 22 a light earth tremor was felt here shortly after midnight Tuesday no information was available from the weather bureau on the probable extent of the seismic disturbance
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Helena
Mont
Weather Bureau
Gibson on Trial Again in Szabo Murder Case
Newburg New York May 21 The case of Burton W Gibson a New York lawyer accused of the murder of Mrs Rose Menshik Szabo on Greenwood Lake July 16 last was called here Monday for its second trial.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Gibson
Newburg
N. Y
Burton W. Gibson
New York
Rose Menshik Szabo
Greenwood Lake
British Spies Pardoned in Berlin Visit
Berlin May 21 Emperor William granted a pardon to three English spies as an act of grace during King George of England’s visit for the marriage of Princess Victoria Louise.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Berlin
Emperor William
George of
England
Victoria Louise
Essad Pasha Assassinated in Vienna
Essad Pasha, former Turkish commander of Scutari who proclaimed himself king of Albania, was killed Tuesday in Vienna by followers of Riza Bey, another Turkish general.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Essad Pasha
Vienna
Scutari
Albania
Riza Bey
Rip Van Winkle of the Catskills Dies at 103
Bartholomew Gulski aged 103, famed as the Rip Van Winkle of the Catskill Mountains, died in New York after a day spent walking along Ocean Boulevard. He was widely known for his long life and gentle demeanor.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
New York
Bartholomew Gulski
Rip van Winkle
Catskill Mountains
Ocean Boulevard
Assemblyman Bacon Arrested in Colorado Slayings
James L. Bacon from Teller County, a member of the general assembly, was arrested in Cripple Creek on a warrant charging him with the murder of his wife and his stepdaughter.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Cripple Creek
Colo
James L. Bacon
General Assembly
Teller County
Jealousy Tragedy Ends In Husband Wife Suicide
In Harbor Springs home near Petoskey Michigan on May 21 Mrs Or ville Ferguson shot her husband through the temple then killed herself in a jealous rage. The couple resided at Harbor Springs and the incident occurred Monday.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Self
Petoskey
Mich
Orville Ferguson
Harbor Springs
Lipton Challenge Accepted for 1914 America's Cup
The New York Yacht Club cabled the Royal Ulster Yacht Club accepting Sir Thomas Lipton's challenge. Shamrock IV will race for the America's Cup in 1914 with a defender chosen by New York sailors as they head toward the world’s premier trophy off Sandy Hook.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Sandy Hook
London
New York Yacht Club
Royal Ulster Yacht Club
Thomas Lipton
Menocal and Varona Inaugurated As Cuban Leaders
Havana observes the inauguration of General Mario G. Menocal as president succeeding Jose Miguel Gomez and Dr. Enrique Jose Varona as vice president marking a new phase in Cuba with hopes for peace and prosperity.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Havana
Cuba
Mario G. Menocal
Jose Miguel Gomez
Enrique Jose Varona
Cuban Republic
Train wreck in West Virginia claims four lives
A cloudburst swept a mountain side stream into a Chesapeake and Ohio train near Sewell West Virginia killing at least four passengers and injuring several more.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Huntington
W. Va
Chesapeake & Ohio
Sewell
Child Killed by Auto In Utica Street Accident
Three year old James Cree, son of J A Cree, was playing with his father's car in Utica New York on Monday. The car rolled down an embankment, threw him from the vehicle, and ran over him, crushing him to death.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Utica
N. Y
James
J. A. Cree
Lieutenant Siebelmiller to Wed Miss Oldham of Surrey
London May 22 announces the engagement of Lieutenant Commander William Siebelmiller U S N to Miss Dorothy Blanche Oldham eldest daughter of the late Robert Augustus Oldham of Burghill Surrey.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Witl
London
William Siebelmiller
Dorothy Blanche Oldham
Robert Augustus Oldham
Burghill
Surrey
Eight Thousand Machinists Strike for Higher Wages
About 8,000 machinists in Buffalo New York went on strike on Monday demanding a minimum wage of 37 1 4 cents per hour and a nine hour work day.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Buffalo
N. Y
Horace Greeley Burt Dies Former Union Pacific Chief
Horace Greeley Burt former president of the Union Pacific railroad system and chief engineer of the Chicago Association of Commerce smoke abatement committee died here on Monday in Chicago. The death closes a career marked by leadership in rail transportation and urban pollution mitigation.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Horace Greeley Burt
Chicago
Union Pacific Railroad System
Chicago Association of Commerce
Senegal Merges into Mine Blasts Off Smyrna Coast
A private message says the Hner Senegal of Messageries Maritimes blew up after striking a mine as it left Smyrna. The ship, of about 3,600 tons, sailed from Marseilles May 15 with 60 passengers and 60 crew, and likely picked up more at ports of call for Constantinople Smyrna and Beirut.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Marseilles
Hner
Senegal
Compagnie Des Messageries Maritimes
Smyrna
Asia Minor
Constantinople
Beirut
French Messageries Maritimes
British Royals Arrive in Berlin for Victoria Luise Wedding
In Berlin on May 23 the German emperor and empress greet Princess Victoria Luise and Prince Ernest August of Cumberland as King George VI and Queen Mary arrive with British regents. Zeppelin and Hansa balloons fly British colors over the royal train and procession to the castle.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Berlin
Germany
Victoria Luise
Prince Ernest August of Cumberland
George
Queen Mary
England
Ernest August
Emperor William
Frederick William
Ballons
Zeppelin
Hansa
Rathenow
Insane Austrian Kills Five in Idaho Asylum
Peter Bradovitch, an insane Austrian inmate at the Idaho State Mental Hospital in Blackfoot, beat five roommates to death with a table while they slept. He had been committed two years earlier from the state penitentiary where he served a life term for murder.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Blackfoot
Idaho
Peter Bradovitch
Peterson
Bradovitch
State Penitentiary
Six Die In Train Wreck On Mountain Slope
Six people died and several were injured when a mixed train on the Chesapeake and Ohio line was swept 300 feet down a mountain by a landslide near Sewell and Landisburg. The engine three freight cars and a passenger caboose plunged into the debris after a prior slide delayed clearing debris from a cloudburst.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Huntington
W. Va
Sewell
Chesapeake & Ohio Railroad
Landisburg
Bomb Explodes At Royal Observatory Edinburgh May 23
A bomb exploded at the Royal Observatory in Edinburgh damaging the second floor and destroying many instruments. Suffragette involvement is suspected.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Royal Observatory
Edinburgh
Knifeless Surgery Successful in Charity Hospital
Announcement from New Orleans reports six knifeless surgical operations at Charity Hospital completed successfully on Wednesday. Most cases treated involved cancerous growths.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
New Orleans
Charity Hospital
Two New Stamp Books Planned by Post Office
Designs for two new stamp books were approved by the post office department. One book will hold ninety six one cent stamps and the other will include twenty four one cent and twenty four two cent stamps.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Washington
May
Post Office Department
Favor Compulsory Compensation Discussed by Trainmen
San Francisco May 23 The Brotherhood of Railway Trainmen debated compulsory compensation for injuries sustained in the line of duty during Wednesday's session.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
San Francisco
The
Brotherhood of Railway
Friedmann Patient Dead After Turtle Vaccine Treatment
Morris Rosenthal, treated for tuberculosis by Dr. Frederick F. Friedmann, died here on Wednesday after receiving an injection of Friedmann's turtle vaccine. The incident occurred in Gloversville Minnesota.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Friedmann
Gloversville
Morris Rosenthal
Frederick F. Friedmann
Rosenthal
Also Mentioned on This Page
Monticello
J. W. Doxsoe
Owa
the Iceman
China
Pennsylvania
Columbia
Young America
State Convention
Zurich
Bremer
Mason City
Veronica Lonovich
Great Britain
D. G. Osborne
Ivor Campbell
Heathcote S. Grant
J. M. Wilson
Cecil Arthur Spring-Rice
Alfred Mitchell Innes
A. Kerr Clark-Kerr
Col. Moreton F. Gage
U. S
Vensuvius
Missouri
Florida
Rockefeller
Miami
Key West
Gov. Johnson
Mikado
Mrs. Longstreet
Gainesville, Ga
Moving Pictures
Lipton
Menocal
Island Republic
Port OF Smyrna
King George