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Newspaper
Monticello Express
Location
Monticello, Iowa, United States of America
Date
May 27, 1909
Page
2
A collage of satirical observations and quips ranges from politics and finance to aviation and weather. It mocks deficit talk, French Wright brothers legends, and public policy while noting droughts, kidnaping jokes, and a Gotham magistrate on tickling as a crime.
A mock report speculates on a proposed one story hotel in New York and contrasts it with standard tall structures. The piece questions safety logic about fire escapes and height by comparing jumping risks from different floors.
A state legislator proposes a law making it unlawful to discriminate against tenants with children under 14 and prohibits lease clauses that forfeit rent if a child is born or adopted. Observers note the legislator may be a parent rather than a landlord.
The master of a whaling ship fitted out in New Bedford returns with a record haul of over 2 000 barrels of whale oil valued at more than $40 000. Captain Hagerty's crew likely captured 40 or 50 whales, signaling a resurgence in profitable whale oil fishing.
The gowns reflect a blend of Dagobert era modes with directoire influence. While some outfits are very beautiful, the mingling of periods can confuse students and overwhelm the eye.
A concise critique questions deliberate obstruction of soil production to make bread harder to obtain. The author frames nature's drought and human withholding as a catastrophe and challenges those who hinder agricultural output.
An experienced bartender testified that the man who plays the slot machines loses oftener than he wins. The court hears the claim as the machine’s purpose is framed as testing its own truth in practice.
A man identified as Chiles was drowned near Paducah Kentucky. The name on the water soaked notice was Chiles and authorities reported his efforts to owit were to no avail.
Henry H. Rogers vice president of Standard Oil and leader in the Amalgamated Copper Company died in New York after a brief illness. He rose from modest beginnings in Fairhaven Massachusetts to become a powerful financier and railroad builder. Funeral services were held in New York at the Church of the Messiah with prominent pallbearers including J D Archbold and W Rockefeller.
The Springfield House of Representatives approved the measure on Thursday by an 8 to 2 vote. It imposes penalties for selling or manufacturing cigarettes or their wrappers and bars anyone under 18 from smoking the cigarette product.
The State Bank of Englevale in Lisbon North Carolina was robbed of 3500 dollars. Police are on the scene but have no definite crew yet.
In Manila the Philippine general assembly closed its session by adopting a second resolution in favor of independence for the islands, signaling a continued push despite the final adjournment of the 1908 session.
Washington Senator Nelson W. Aldrich who chairs the finance committee and authored the tariff bill has declined an invitation to join the circle of chautauqua lectures.
Senator Tillman criticized prolonged wrangling in the tariff process and urged限 the finance committee chair to enforce speaking limits. Aldrich accepted the critique and pledged to push the bill forward with revisions including a lead duty cut to 2.625 cents per pound. Delegates from Beveridge Bristow Brown Burkett Clapp Cummins Dolliver Gamble La Follette Nelson backed the Democrats. Borah sided with Republicans. Heyburn dismissed lead trust concerns as unfounded.
Governor Deneen accepted the nine foot bronze statue of Gen George Rogers Clark on a gray granite base eighteen feet high In a hilltop ceremony. The statue by Charles J Mulligan of the Chicago Art Institute depicts Clark in continental general uniform recalling his 1778 Kaskaskia capture.
London report says the earl of Ronaldshay apologized to Beatrice Mills Granard after he called her a dumped American heiress with a title. The apology followed the king's wish as the Countess backed a bazaar aiding Lord Ronaldshay's Liberal opponent.
New York appellate division upholds reduced damages of 300 dollars in a false arrest case involving George Griffin, a Pullman porter. Griffin, arrested in Montreal for alleged pocketbook theft, was released when the charge lacked evidence against Daniel H Brady of New York. The judge notes racial considerations can affect damages.
Mrs Louis Carsten killed her three children at the family farm near East Hampton. Louis ten John seven and a ten month old girl died. Mrs Carsten died soon after, telling her husband she wanted to die and take the children with her.
President Taft sent to the senate the nomination of Judge Charles D. Elliott of the Minnesota Supreme Court as a justice of the Philippine Supreme Court to succeed Judge Willard.
In Eau Claire Wisconsin the wife of Fay Irish of Thorp Clark county has delivered five babies three daughters and two sons all living. The couple now has ten children in their family.
Albert House aged 25 leapt 133 feet from the High Bridge Williamsburg Bridge into the East River and escaped unscathed. He was arraigned in court and held on $500 bail to keep the peace.
Mrs Helen Kelly Gould obtained an interlocutory decree of divorce from Frank J Gould in the New York supreme court with Justice Gerard presiding on Thursday.
Miss Helen Taft, daughter of the president, has accepted an invitation to unveil the monument at Gettysburg Pennsylvania honoring regular army soldiers who took part in the Gettysburg campaign. The ceremony will be held on May 31.
Caracas report states President Gomez has removed the export tax on coffee, cocoa and hides to stimulate trade. The decision aims to boost exports and economic activity across the sector.
In Philadelphia on Wednesday Jack Johnson the pig colored heavyweight champion fought Jack O'Brien a Philadelphia light heavyweight to a six round draw in effect. The contest was even and most observers believed it should have been a draw if a decision were allowed. O'Brien used fast footwork and blocking to avoid damage while Johnson pressed with great strength and weight in several clinches.
Washington report outlines a plan by the national Joint Committee on Conservation to have all 48 major organizations assess each state and territory's natural resources. The effort aims to apply governors and presidents’ conservation principles, with early state meetings to tackle gas waste in Louisiana and water power issues in Oregon Michigan and Wisconsin.
Theodore Roosevelt and his son Kermit continue a Nairobi river camp hunt at Heatley ranch. They take two bull buffaloes, one slain by Roosevelt alone and the other with Kermit. Roosevelt also bags a female rhinoceros at Jura ranch, after a shoulder wound and a long pursuit. The head and skin weigh 532 pounds.
Vice-President James Sherman headlines the National Good Roads Congress final session in Baltimore Maryland. He stresses the benefit of better roads and highways for transporting goods and boosting national commerce and internal improvements, noting the United States lags behind England France and Switzerland.
Two workers were killed and a third seriously injured when a work train on the Grand Rapids Grand Haven and Muskegon interurban derailed near Grand Haven on the Highland Park branch Friday.
Paris strikers attempted to invade factories and buildings where workers refused to quit. Minor riots followed with several arrests.
Mattie Corliss a 54 year old poor house resident and Charles Dale a 50 year old ex convict also in the same institution ran away together. The woman believes she is still a girl due to a distorted sense of time.
While Mrs. Marion McCormick was away, a house fire in Herrin claimed the lives of three children a two year old boy a four year old boy and a five year old girl.
A memorial wheel cross in rough silver-gray Cornish granite has been erected in Kensington cemetery London to honor Admiral Sir Francis Leopold McClintock the Arctic explorer and discoverer of the lost Franklin expedition at ten feet tall on a massive molded base.
An 19th century advertisement offers a hundred dollar reward for an incurable catarrh cure. J Cheney & Co of Toledo pledged honesty, Walding Kinnan & Marvin endorse the firm, Hall's Catarrh Cure is claimed to work systemically, with testimonials free and price at 75 cents per bottle. Also promotes Hall's Family Pills for constipation.
A Slavonic belief warns that wasting bread invites evil spirits to collect crumbs. If the dust heap outweighs the eater's weight, the soul is doomed to the devil upon death.
Physicians and nurses recommend Kemp's Balsam as the best cough cure for many years. It is trusted by well-informed people and considered essential when coughs resist other remedies. Available at druggists and dealers for 25 cents.
A light collection of comic lines and product pitches from a 19th or early 20th century page. It includes Pettit’s Eye Salvis for sore eyes and a 5c Lewis’ Single Binder cigar, plus a moral maxim about men and temper.
Milwaukee woman claims the remedy cured her back pain and female troubles after doctors warned of a tumor. The Pinkham Medicine Company in Lynn Mass publishes grateful letters and invites sick women to write for free advice, urging trials before surgery.
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