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Newspaper
Monticello Express
Location
Monticello, Iowa, United States of America
Date
May 23, 1912
Page
8
A collage of quips and notices from The Monticello Express mixing light satire on topics from lawn care to highbinders and streetcars. The column riffs on fashion, literature, jokes, and curiosities with quick wits and dated humor.
A newly discovered iron ore deposit in Pennsylvania is described as a mother lode. The remark ties to a long ago mining effort by a father figure who reportedly uncovered a similar load.
A Cleveland youth who received wages from a single firm under multiple names could become a significant political asset in a tight election. The article hints at the practice and its potential impact on voter perceptions and campaign strategies.
An experimenter argues that current safety for air travel hinges on avoiding flight, presenting a stark view that the sole recipe for safety is to refrain from going aloft.
A beautiful young actress has hidden herself after receiving threatening letters. At the proper moment her press agent will proceed to locate her and disclose information to the public.
A young boy is praised for hard work and study and could be chosen to throw the ceremonial first ball at the season opener.
The text notes that baseball results are as troublesome as much of the rest of the troubles, signaling concern or malaise around sports outcomes. No specific teams or dates are provided in readable text.
A lawmaker proposes shielding women from age disclosures in courtrooms, arguing the move preserves chivalry and reduces intrusion. The proposal frames age privacy as a matter of respect and equality within legal proceedings.
The new all night theater in Chicago attracts many patrons seeking safety from street crime and home threats. Reviewers note a crowd drawn by protection and anonymity, while officials monitor security issues as late hours draw diverse audiences.
Marion Ohio reports a baby weighing one pound was born there recently. The infant, a boy, survived the initial days amid cautious hopes for his development and health.
Des Moines police are instructed to transport intoxicated individuals to their homes rather than jail. The change ends the prior practice of fearing to escort troubled citizens home after dark.
In Los Angeles a manners course is now part of the high school curriculum. The program teaches students to give up seats in street cars to tired elderly riders, regardless of wearing jewelry or status.
Chinese officials of the new government have not only cut off their queues but some wear high silk hats, illustrating a striking shift toward Western styles as the regime marks a new era in official attire.
Edison claims a device enabling moving pictures at home, with the exception that true home life remains unavailable. The remark underscores a breakthrough in home entertainment and hints at broader social implications of new technology.
Yonkers judge rules the woodpecker has a natural right to its work at 4 a m despite disturbance to residents. The decision notes possible bias from the complainant a wealthy man.
The Danish proclamation of Christian X as king followed King Frederick VIII's death in Hamburg. Dowager Queen Louise and three children accompanied the royal body to Copenhagen aboard the Dannebrog after a masked apoplexy death on a Hamburg street. The royal family showed deep mourning as troops and crowds honored the deceased monarch. The new king, Christian X, is described as domestically content and known for his marriage to Princess Alexandrina.
Fargo North Dakota May 17 Clarence N Copeland of Fargo receives 77000 from his late uncle John Copeland on the condition he stay in the United States Marines for his full term and re enlist at its end, a fortune and a homestead tying him to service.
Selina Smith known as the Gypsy and a lifelong caravan resident died in London at 101. She earned her living largely by fortune telling and was an inveterate pipe smoker.
Vienna reports Count Sturgish the Austrian premier has suddenly become blind. Leading ophthalmologists declare the case hopeless and diagnose the condition as irreversible.
Washington May 17 Robert H Chapman of this city has been appointed acting superintendent of Glacier National Park Montana to succeed the late Maj Logan and will enter upon his duties immediately.
Willard Gibson, seven years old, arrived from Manila to attend New York public schools, acclaimed as the most accomplished linguist among enrolled pupils.
In Duluth Minnesota on May 17 1923 the local elevators report 15 000 000 bushels of bonded Canadian grain handled this spring with only 3 000 000 bushels left indicating the business is well cleaned up.
Milwaukee Electric Railway and Light Company raises wages by 1 cent per hour for motormen and conductors. the voluntary increase takes effect June 1.
Washington May 16 Congress to receive a resolution demanding an investigation into alleged misuse of government frank and stenographers by Secretary Wilson McCabe and Dr Melvin to block inquiry into beef situation. Marion Adams Chicago inspector's assistant to be subpoenaed as witness amid claims Armour Co. relation to condemned cattle.
Two men robbed a New Orleans New York limited train eight miles from Hattiesburg on the Queen and Crescent railroad. They dynamited the sale and express car, escaped on horses toward the Alabama line with $140,000. Passengers were unharmed and pursuers formed after the train halted.
Duluth Minnesota May 18 reports only 3 000 000 bushels left from an initial 15 000 000 as Canadian grain business clears up. This indicates the Canadian grain trade has largely been settled and the market is winding down.
A well dressed man of foreign appearance jumped from the upper deck of a Lackawanna ferry on the North River, causing great excitement aboard the boat. He died from the fall.
In Washington on May 17 Senator Penrose of Pennsylvania Republican leader of the senate was thrown to the ground when his horse stumbled in Rock Creek Park. He suffered bruises to his arms and shoulders.
Jackson Mississippi May 17 C H Alexander a leading Mississippi lawyer and former Democratic senate candidate collapsed and died on a street in Jackson Wednesday details limited and unverified victims.
Emma Goldman was driven from San Diego after a near riot. Dr. Ben Reitman, her manager, was tarred and feathered and branded with I W W by a vigilant citizen group. Goldman canceled speaking dates and fled to Oceanside then Los Angeles. Reitman was taken to Las Penas quit as a warning not to return.
Close friends of Mrs. Evelyn Nesbit Thaw say she is mother to a nineteen month old boy born near Hamburg Germany where she was temporary. Thaw family representatives deny paternity and even question the child's existence.
Washington May 16 In the president's absence Vice President Sherman signed the resolution submitting to the states an amendment to the Constitution for the election of United States senators by popular vote. It will be sent to the state department and then notices sent to all states.
Mme. Vuillemin, companion of Octave Garnier, confessed to police detailing the auto band crimes. In five months the group killed twenty three people, plundered money and jewels, and kept Paris and its surroundings in a semi siege.
Rome May 18 The Italian chamber of deputies rejected the woman suffrage bill by a large majority. Premier Giolitti opposed the measure as did many on the floor.
Maj Archibald W Butt Tafts aide who went down with the Titanic was formally removed from the United States army roll last Thursday.
Dubuque Iowa May 16 one hundred freight handlers on four roads walked out in sympathy with Chicago strikers demanding 25 cents more per hour or two dollars a day. Traffic is tied up as the strike disrupts shipments.
Pontiac May 16 Kelly Rina ker just joined the Carlinville board of education and is believed to be the youngest member in Illinois at twenty three years old.
Republican and Democratic state conventions across Iowa Minnesota West Virginia Minnesota and other states issue delegates to the Chicago or Baltimore conventions. Iowa binds 300 delegates to Clark. Minnesota indorses Roosevelt. Taft favored in Utah. South Carolina sends uninstructed delegates to Baltimore.
Three hundred citizens from all walks of life improved 100 miles of bad highways into good roads by working all day Wednesday in Kanena Junction City Kansas. Women volunteers served dinner to the workers.
Mrs. Inez Salazar wife of General Salazar received a telegram from Orozco's army stating her husband was dying as they fight south of Chihuahua in the Mexican campaign.
Washington May 16 tentative agreement reached to prep for adjournment on June 15. Speakers Clark and Representative Underwood among those present.
Washington May 16 the house approved the Clayton anti injunction bill after a partisan debate by 224 to 31 with six members abstaining in the vote.
Des Moines reports William A. Richards a former deputy U S marshal turned burglar, aged 60, paroled from Ft. Madison after seven years. The Parole Board recommended release citing good behavior and age under the parole system, with Governor Carroll awaiting formal action in a few days.
Larchwood report states Charles Bull and Charles Fink were killed by gas while finishing a farm well on L. Brewer’s property near town. Fink descended to place curbing and fainted, Bull then entered to aid him and both died. survivors include families in Lester, Indiana.
Julian W. Richards, a well known newspaper writer, died in Waterloo last night of pneumonia after a two day illness. He is survived by his wife active in club affairs in Iowa for many years and a son who died in college years ago, leaving the father with enduring grief.
West Liberty farmers widely apply commercial fertilizer after a string of clover crop failures. F. D. Steen, a leading local farmer, notes repeated clover losses have worn soil, making corn cultivation difficult.
The body of 14 year old Tommy Duncan was found in a river drift after two weeks missing. The coroner's jury ruled foul play. Several of his younger associates showed odd behavior at the time of disappearance and investigators are examining the case.
Sioux City reports Mrs Grace Seibert sues Mrs Flora Follett for 10000 alleging Follett alienated Seiberts husband. Seibert is city ticket and passenger agent for the Great Northern and Burlington railroads.
Freight Agent William Robson of the Northwestern railroad is missing and an auditor is examining the books of the Dunlap office. Robson's departure occurred at the same time as the auditor's arrival.
Webster county supervisors declare the petition for saloon licenses sufficient and permits are expected to allow new saloons to open likely Monday morning after obtaining the required approvals.
Rock Rapids reports farmers in overcoats busy sowing corn seed as fears grow the cold may injure seed corn. Small grain and grass thrive while fruit trees, especially plums and crabapples, show heavy blossoms but apple blossoms are scarce, forecasting a light apple crop.
Mrs. Catherine Lusk of Chariton dies at age 100 years 8 months at 2 30 this morning. Funeral arrangements to be announced by the family.
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