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Monticello Express in Monticello, Iowa

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This newspaper page contains 17 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.

Newspaper

Monticello Express

Location

Monticello, Iowa, United States of America

Date

May 04, 1899

Page

8

Heartfelt confession at Pinkie Billmore mansion

In Chicago Tribune style narration, Flavius Millsap professes love to Pinkie Billmore who resists. Millsap visits her home repeatedly, seeking a strike of fate, while Pinkie debates her response and delays a public admission of affection.

Pinkie Billmore Hmavius Josephus Millsap Billmore Mansion Miss Pinkie Beyre Magius Josephus Millsap Pinkie Flavius Chicago Tribune

Locks of hair and lilies of the valley lampoon

A venerable clergyman briefly preaches then grants requests for hair from young women seeking to make flowers. A curious note to his wife reveals the unintended consequence as many seek “white hair” for lilies. The anecdote wryly contrasts solemn duties with levity. The clipping closes with short jokes about farewells and misfortunes.

Sean Cincinnati Enquirer

Parsnip Complexion and Kidney Trouble Remedy

A health ad claims most ailments stem from weak kidneys and promotes Dr. Kilmer's Swamp Root as a cure all. It describes kidney complexion, related symptoms, and offers free sample by mail from Kilmer & Co. with an address in Binghamton New York.

Dr. Kilmer & Co Binghamton, N.Y

Terrors of Drink Sermon Warns of Drunken Woe in 1899

A Chicago Daily News synopsis notes Louis Klepsch on Dr. Malmage delivering a sermon against strong drink. He portrays four fiends targeting grapes grain dairy and music, detailing ruin to reputation homes health and souls and urges repentance through faith to halt alcohol’s plague.

Lalmage Friends of Temperance Egypt Ile America Earth Sahara Hell Music Hall Satan Gibraltar Philadelphia Tam Brooklyn Andes Dr. Sewell Iam Inc

Abolition Debate Spurs Albany Lawmakers

Albany lawmakers wrangle over abolishing the death penalty while a moral clash unfolds. An analogy to Hostetter's Stomach Bitters underscores a plea for treatment of indigestion and related ailments, urging readers to visit druggists for a remedy.

Albany Hostetter

Elevator or lift debate in cross country slang

An exchange between an Englishman and a New Yorker prompts humor over American terms for lifts and elevators. The Englishman insists that lift better fits the device because it both raises and lowers people, a playful linguistic observation from Yonkers Statesman.

New Yorker Yonkers

Grain-O Preparation Directions From a 19th Century Ad

An old consumer tip explains Grain-O use with one tablespoon per two cups water, then mixing with half an egg and boiling fifteen to twenty minutes. Add cream or hot milk, then sugar to taste. A reviewer notes initial dislike but says ten days builds a habit you won’t abandon.

House of God Dives New York Fourth Ward Lord Jesus Christ Caltes

Burglary Nightly Foiled by Germicidal Sprayer

A Detroit Journal report recalls a burglar fleeing after attempting entry through a cellar window only to be drenched by an electric automatic spraying device and swept to an ill fate as germs of disease appeared to cure him.

Aerick Detroit Journal

Kemp's Balsam Promises Quick Cough Relief

Advert says Kemp's Balsam cured many coughs and colds in the community. It claims genuine merit with Lange bottles 25 cents and 60 cents, sample bottle free, urging readers to ask friends who used it for opinions.

Kemp

Grain-O advertised as coffee substitute for all ages

An old Philadelphia Press ad promotes Grain-O as a pure grain coffee substitute. It claims to calm nerves, aid digestion, and provide health and strength for babies to grandparents, urging readers to ask their grocer for Grain-O.

Baby Grandma

Foreman Jones Shot Through Chest in Workplace Incident

A Georgia paper reports an office accident where a bullet passed completely through the chest of foreman Mr. Jones but narrowly missed a plate glass window, avoiding costly damage.

Georgia Jones Minneapolis Journal

Allen's Foot-Kane Shoe Powder Advertisement

Ask your dealer for Allen's Foot-Kane powder to shake into your shoes. It rests the feet and cures corns bunions swollen hot callous aching sweating feet and ingrown nails. Allen's Woot-lase makes new or tight shoes easy. Bold by all druggists and shoe stores. Joe Bimple mailed free address Alien S Olmsted Le Roy NY.

Allen Joe Bimple Olmsted le Roy N.Y

When a Girl Graduates and Marries a Man

Atchison Globe notes a girl’s ambition to show a noble purpose but she marries and soon develops a strange look in her eyes. The item reflects social attitudes in a small town.

Atchison Globe

Gentle Daily Health Pillage and Liver Support

An elderly period remedy described as promoting daily bowel movements for health. It is noted to act gently on the liver and kidneys and is claimed to cure a sick head ache. Price listed as 25 and 50 cents.

Objects of Interest in Town

Principal objects of interest include citizen savings bank deposits in the metropolis.

Coughing Leads to Consumption Promises Remedy

An old advertisement claims Kemp's Balsam stops coughing immediately and offers a free sample bottle at drugstores. Large bottles cost 25 and 50 cents. The copy urges immediate purchase, warning delays are dangerous.

Humorous Bits and Patent Remedies in Old Clippings

A collage of quips and ads appears from early 19th century press. Mentions Uncle Allen Sparks high handshake, Piso cures, Hale’s Honey drop cures, and a teeth extraction joke from an Irish paper. Includes addresses and short maxims reflecting period humor and commerce.

Uncle Allen Sparks Chicago Tribune Piso F. M. Abbott Seneca St Buffalo N. Y

Also Mentioned on This Page

Hood Foxton L. A. W. Bulletin Washington (Fa George Saxton Atchison Dr. Talmage Louis Klepsch Washington Chicago Daily News Althop Philadelphia Press Kilame Lane Spain H. A. W. Bulletin Warren Hale Pike So-and-so Minnesota Renee Chicago Wien Stersabeda Auve Kansas Omaha Mr. Ayer Italgo A. Ius ADIES Alabastine CO Grand Rapids Michigan Spalding N. J. Young A. C. Spalding & Bros Denver Drogeists Mail &Co pCapitaris Manufacturing Co T. Heel Mansfield Glen Ridge N. de California Salt Lake Pullman St Louis T. A. Gravy Clark Street Was Mun Canada Ottawa Candas Broughton Stevens Point Wia M. V. McCliner Merrill Bio Detralt Caven Bad Axa James Guieve Pleasant Mich N. Bate Holomew Des Moines Jonas Breuert & Kantz Fort Wayne Indiana Buckingham’s R.P. Hall & Co Nashua N.H Carter’s Carter’s Ink CO Boston Mass Tney
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