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Newspaper
Monticello Express
Location
Monticello, Iowa, United States of America
Date
Mar 20, 1919
Page
8
A collage of humor quotes from multiple papers shows playful exchanges. Lines feature punny exchanges about weddings, wartime, efficiency, and daily life. The snippets include Aunt Jemina hospital slang and a milk bottle puncture joke for a travel delay.
Quarry workers near McGregor on the Dan O Rielly farm uncovered two wheelbarrow loads of rattlesnake parts inside a rock crevice while blasting for a barn. Hunters say the site may house hundreds of snakes in a hidden chamber, with steam seen at the cave mouth. A 50 cent bounty per head draws eager snake hunters as April moves.
The statement argues that destroying autocracy cost over seven million lives and the world will ensure those deaths were not in vain. It predicts a forthcoming league of nations of some kind, composed of democratic states that will secure global democracy.
The excerpt provides kitchen tips on meat handling mashed potatoes and reheating pies, followed by a poem excerpt urging action for Russia and wartime casualties. It also includes General March death figures and an original notice in Iowa court proceedings mentioning a 440 dollar claim and a garnishment.
The Rev Charles Stelzle in the Milwaukee Journal notes how common words tire us when overused. He compares language to clothing, saying phrases like grand absolutely and say listen reveal habit. He urges readers to diversify vocabulary to better express thoughts.
A collection of satirical lines from Detroit News to Manchester Union mocks Prohibition era attitudes. References include U Stay Arid from the Detroit News and remarks on drys celebrations, constitutional issues, and moonshine. The jokes note shifting norms and humor about booze and its influence.
Burlington Hawkeye argues the No beer no work slogan is anti American saloon propaganda. It claims millions of workers do not drink and condemns the motto as insulting to homes and loyalty to law and prosperity.
The Chicago Evening Post argues prohibition reflects long education and deliberate choice. It asserts that emotion is no longer behind the movement and that a hundred million people will try the experiment after extensive discussion, calling it a worthwhile test of the liquor trade's end.
A humorous quip traces how different professionals handle errors with varying outcomes. It notes that lawyers and judges shape law, doctors hide errors, editors receive the final, sardonic judgment, and others blame faulty processes or lack of clarity. The closing punchline elevates editors to the target of the joke.
The Far East gave up hurrying the camel and in Palestine tractors are now used for plowing fields, signaling a shift in local agricultural practice and pace of modernization.
Springfield report claims President Wilson spent about $2,000 on personal tips during his European trip. The piece criticizes the League of Nations for not addressing this issue and for not attempting the impossible.
The report discusses Germany's demand for a lighter financial burden from the Allied powers, aiming to lessen wartime reparations and shift responsibility. Named entities include Germany and the Allies, with context of postwar economic negotiations and international diplomacy.
District Court in Jones County Iowa schedules March 31 1919 as the probate date for the purported last will of Jacob Rohr deceased. The court invites all interested parties to appear and contest probate at the March term. Clarke Clerk Jones County Iowa notes the filing and appointment of probate, with Doxsee and Doxgee as attorneys for the estate.
Sealed bids will be received at the Jones County Iowa County Auditor's office until 10:00 a.m. Monday April 7 1915 for specified corrugated culvert pipe sizes. A 5 percent certified check payable to the county auditor must accompany each bid. Bids on regular forms furnished by the county must be sealed and plainly marked.
The undersigned appointed administrator of Benedict Stiffler deceased estate in Jones County Iowa. Creditors must file claims with the Clerk of Court sworn and within legally prescribed time to be allowed. Immediate payment requested of those owing estate to avoid costs. dated Raimosit Iowa March 10, 19th.
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