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Newspaper
Monticello Express
Location
Monticello, Iowa, United States of America
Date
Mar 20, 1913
Page
1
Fragments from The Monticello Express parody current events and urban lore. Vignettes include London’s wild ragtime mood, jokes about banknotes transmitting smallpox, pajamas for sailors, and promises of valets. The quips touch on Greece, spring fever, a 2830 B C alimony joke, a 3 000 dollar a year paid to do nothing, and a heavy toast to rapid long distance calls.
The policy results in women being barred from legal practice with critics likely to harshly view legal wigs as symbols of era and gender bias.
A Frenchman claims to have invented a device or concept he calls cold light. He suggests it mimics the pale dawn of early morning in its effect. The note reads as a brief novelty claim without technical details.
The fragment notes no method exists to make parcel post shake down the furnace mornings and carry out the ashes, implying inefficiency in waste removal or disposal. The terse line suggests a routine or mechanical failure involving mail sorting or furnace ash handling.
A Chinese lecturer advises American women to adopt birdseed as a breakfast. The remark, aimed at opera stars and others, mocks money constraints on marriage. A New Jersey minister cautions youths about matrimony, but the counsel proves unnecessary as most do not wed.
More baby carriages were sold during the last year than ever before. A critical note condemns self inflicted tragedy as a societal risk amid rising consumer optimism.
The source notes that presenting in the English court costs $500, while in this country it can be done for as little as $1 and costs.
A Denver woman has been granted a divorce from her husband who is already dead. The ruling ends a union she could not continue in, addressing a unique legal situation for the petitioner.
A Harlem dentist and his wife argued as she refused to wake to start the fire. The confrontation led to a heated domestic scene described as a hot time despite the lack of flames.
A St Louis waiter saved tips to buy a hotel. If prudent, he should seek continued work as a waiter and insure against failure.
A California painter left a note before taking his own life in Palermo stating he wished to die in Italy. The fragment suggests the location held personal significance beyond his prior life, contrasting with other cities.
Lawyers row over what constitutes a fair fee with outsiders historically seeing it as the maximum possible charge. The discussion examines norms and possible reforms in fee setting.
A southern man asserts love alone cannot end poverty and warns that more than affection is needed to sustain it. He implies practical steps are required beyond romance to address hardship.
Bees sent by mail broke loose in a San Francisco post office briefly challenging the advocates of mail as a general carrier. Officials and workers scrambled to recapture the swarm as the incident drew attention to Postal Service procedures and handling.
A Chicago woman explains she withholds breakfast when her husband stays out all night. She says it is odd that he would want any after such behavior.
Madame de Cisneros was refused a cup of tea because she wore a riding habit. She was dressed for tea in riding attire.
A Kansas judge refused to grant a divorce to a woman with four husbands and a man with three wives, blocking two potential dramatic stars from advancing.
Des Moines reports a rising exodus of settlers to Canada and the north with farmers arranging to plow in spring. Railroads offer special Tuesday rates to move homeseekers, with nearly 300 leaving in a single day on northbound lines. Many former renters head to Oklahoma and Texas seeking affordable land.
In Fort Dodge a dairy demonstration at Fort Dodge High School contrasted two milking methods. A curried and cleaned cow bolted the milk bucket during milking, while the cow milked in the old-fashioned unsanitary way by a man in dirty overalls submitted gracefully.
Four laborers at the Ellis-Ellsworth company wrecking site in Keokuk were injured with Pinnell fatally struck when the building walls collapsed. Injured men named as Andrew Stevens Swanson Kimbler and Pinnell. The collapse occurred during demolition work.
Irving Sorenson five year old son of Mr and Mrs Thomas Sorenson of Marne died from lockjaw four days after vaccination during a recent smallpox scare when wholesale compulsory vaccination was practiced locally.
Lake City voters approved the water works rebuild by a two to one margin in a special election. The bond issue failed by twelve votes due to many supporters not marking the ballot for the bond.
Progressives controlled the Franklin county Republican convention and nominated O. G. Reeve as the candidate for representative in the special election to replace the late Frank Thayer. Reeve is described as a strong Cummins man.
The six month old child of Mr and Mrs Bert Schuler died in a transport moving household goods. Stormy weather and the grandmother’s careful wrapping of the infant led to suffocation while the family unloaded across the country.
Mason City notes the fiftieth wedding anniversary of Mr and Mrs Henry Garlock longtime county residents since 1869. The couple parents to eight daughters living across the United States gathered at Clear Lake for the celebration.
James Wilson, retiring secretary of agriculture, arrived in Ames from Washington after sixteen years in the cabinet. He spent the day at Iowa State College, meeting President Pearson, the deans, and old friends.
Cedar Falls teachers college Y M C A will send gospel teams to conduct meetings during the spring vacation.
A bold burglary at Rippey targets John Munson’s lumber office and steals a ninety pound adding machine. Police investigate the unusual theft, noting the heavy, valuable item was removed without detection.
A new Anita school house project received 337 votes for and 46 against, approving bonds for a $32,000 facility. Of the ten women voters, only one opposed the proposition.
George Gotzman Boone, a central Iowa resident, was found dead beside Beaver Creek near Beaver. Heart trouble caused his death after he went driving with his team. the others returned without him.
Hans J. Olsen, 77, wandered from Mercy hospital and was found dead in a shallow pool. About 100 people participated in the search for Olsen.
Seventeen men aged and gray competed in the old fiddlers contest of Iowa threshermen's fifth annual convention held in Des Moines. Henry Willis of Lacona won first prize of 25 dollars as judges praised his performance and stage presence. Willis, over 75, drew hearty applause and fired up the crowd with lively reels and spirited foot tapping.
Wilson Bros. of Menlo sold cattle and horses worth over 27000 dollars to 1500 bidders from across the United States who attended and were fed at the farm. Cattle brought record prices with some selling as high as 8 cents on foot and horses fetched from 250 to 600 dollars.
Albert Johnson, a Warren county veteran from the soldiers home, cut guard Joseph S. Scott with a jack knife. He was arrested at headquarters and then sprang over a ten foot balcony to attempt escape.
Lucius B. Ames a Baptist minister aged 78 died Sunday in Des Moines He lived in Des Moines 22 years after moving from Marion where he first held an Iowa pulpit Born October 31 1834 in West Bridgewater Massachusetts Ames began his ministry in several eastern states before coming to Marion in 1877
Cedar Falls reports the winter term closed with a graduation. The college notes its term as among the most successful in its 38 year history and records the largest single term enrollment of 1,371 students.
The Iowa Constitutional Prohibitory Amendment Association filed articles of incorporation in Des Moines with a capital stock of 500000 dollars, 50000 shares of 10 dollars each. Its primary aim is to secure the resubmission of the prohibitory amendment to Iowa’s constitution.
Roy A. Stacey secretary of the Great White Way association and James McDonnell booster from Adair are in Washington to attend the national good roads convention and push adopting the Great White Way as part of the Ocean-to-Ocean highway.
The Farmers' Mutual Insurance society of Castle Grove reports five years of operation with total losses of 2649.50 and only one assessment levied. The association now carries risks in fourteen townships totaling 600000 dollars.
The farm house of Ralph Glidden, southwest of Iowa Falls, was destroyed by fire with a loss of 2500 dollars. The cause of the fire remains unknown.
A plan to inspect Harrison county farms by experts on soils livestock farm crops fruit and domestic science is arranged. The county tour will be made in autos and valuable statistics are expected to be secured.
The Mississippi River Power Company, builder of a major dam, has donated nine acres of land adjoining Rand Park to the city of Keokuk. The gift broadens park space as the dam construction progresses along the river.
H Reber of Le Mars tried to kill himself at Alton after a failed restaurant deal. He gashed his throat with a knife and was taken to a local hospital in serious condition.
Dr. A. S. Lewis defeated incumbent N. P. Mouton to become mayor of East Dubuque. Mouton was mayor prior to the election, running on the taxpayers ticket.
Wilson will call a special session for April 7 to push a conservative tariff revision via Underwood. The plan focuses on needed revenue and money-law changes with minimal disruption to business, while extending Philippine legislation and avoiding a broad downward cut.
Dr. Fried rich Franz Friedmann of Berlin spoke in Ottawa on his tuberculosis treatment. He described 12 years of research, discarding human tubercle bacilli and using a turtle-origin bacillus found to be non toxic and often harmless when tested on himself and patients.
Speaker Champ Clark was admitted to practice before the Supreme Court on Wednesday. He was introduced by former Judge Sheppard Barclay of St. Louis Missouri.
The St. Louis health department reports about one thousand measles cases in the city with new infections rising at roughly one hundred daily.
Boston on March 12 reports Frank A Munsey sold his morning paper the Boston Journal on Monday The purchaser's identity was not disclosed The sale marks a long ownership span since 1903.
Harrisburg March 12 The resolution censuring the Washington police for alleged failure to protect the women’s suffrage parade on March 3 was defeated in the house by 72 to 67 Monday.
Madame Sarah Bernhardt was thrown from her car when it collided with a heavy truck near Los Angeles as she traveled from Venice to the Orpheum theater. She sprained both ankles and was bruised but still performed her full program after reaching the theater.
Chicago version of the federal case reports pugilist Jack Johnson, known as Black Jack, will face smuggling charges with trial scheduled for April 7. Federal Judge Carpenter set the date on Wednesday afternoon after a defense motion.
Oklahoma City report says Raymond H. Hoss and C. M. Hoss bankers from Fairfax Oklahoma were convicted in the Guthrie federal court for kiting checks on a Wednesday afternoon in March.
Himalaya Mining Company an Arizona corporation with mines in California and Millers Nevada filed a voluntary bankruptcy petition in federal court. Reported liabilities amount to 477 700 dollars.
Charles A. Carey and Er. J. Reynolds of Utica, Jr. perished in the blaze that destroyed several local stores. Their bodies were recovered from the ruins of an oriental goods store on Sunday, March 11.
London reports five women arrested after attempting to reach King George and Queen Mary with petitions during their Westminster journey. The incident underscores suffrage tensions as police detain the demonstrators.
Mexican government reports 506 dead from the February 9 attack on the national palace by Felix Diaz forces. The toll was released by military authorities on Tuesday in Mexico City.
Huntsville Alabama March 13 Two people were killed and two more seriously injured in an automobile accident near the city Sunday The dying are Allen Hutchins and Benjamin Cooley
In Teheran on March 11 an unidentified Persian killed Mma Constant wife of the Belgian director of customs at Bushire port and severely wounded M. Constant. The attack occurred Saturday and the motive remains unclear.
Ralph Friesz three years old son of Mr and Mrs John Friesz of 711 Trendel avenue died after scalding in a bath tub on Sunday in East St Louis Illinois. The incident occurred at their home and prompted local authorities to investigate the bathwater accident.
President Wilson issues a formal statement outlining U S aims in Central and South America stressing peace, orderly government, and mutual cooperation. He rejects personal gain, pledges disinterested friendship, and warns against armed uprisings while urging respect for constitutional rights.
Ben Fink of South Bend admitted to leading an arson ring that exploited incendiarism across Indiana Illinois Wisconsin and Minnesota. He disclosed secrets to officials enabling possible prosecutions of 60 to 75 people connected to plots that damaged property valued at about 1 million dollars.
New York March 14. The New York Yacht Club rejected Sir Thomas Lipton's challenge for the America's Cup noting a 75 foot boat was too small for the race.
Two hundred girls in the iron mills owned by Senator George T. Oliver strike for higher wages. One thousand additional workers expected to join the action. The protest began on Wednesday in Pittsburg Pennsylvania.
Mary Schlosger, seventeen, was shot in the right leg during a clash between striking stovemakers and strike breakers in Erie Pennsylvania on Tuesday. Two other strikers were injured in the confrontation.
The Russian consul was shot by Chinese soldiers as he passed the Chinese barracks in Tsitsihar northern Manchuria Tuesday. Eight shots were fired at his escort.
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