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Newspaper
Monticello Express
Location
Monticello, Iowa, United States of America
Date
Mar 06, 1913
Page
1
A collage of jokes and wry notes on taxes, forgers, aviation proposals, and oddities. Items include remark on women in Vermont seeking husbands, a Pennsylvania man contracting smallpox from banknotes, Bulgarian bachelor taxation, a Boston aviator's parcel post idea, and humorous quips on pigs prigs and flying bricks.
A satirical note compares shrinking men’s hats to urging women to follow suit and mocks reform efforts in medicine, ending with the irony that no monument exists for the guinea pig used in experiments.
A New York court is asked to assign a 500 dollar value to a single bean linked to a woman’s fall. The report notes that many ball players are beaned for far less than that amount multiple times each season.
A female dentist in New York reportedly practices exclusively on mentally ill patients to prevent any change in treatment outcomes if patients become angry. The remark implies she specializes to avoid handling normal patients.
Sailors will scan for icebergs along the spring voyage line of U S passenger ships. If ice is found, the Navy ships will search the American war vessels for safety.
A New York man arrested for theft offered odd defenses claiming he was a human mouse and had a prenatal mark. He said he could not help it, noting the alleged crime involved more than cheese in a peculiar admission.
Christy Mathewson was fined ten dollars after a motor vehicle incident. The famed pitcher faced a fine for driving his auto too fast, a rarity in sports headlines.
Announcement states the late Professor Agassiz left an estate exceeding two million dollars. He did not devote his entire career to teaching. other pursuits and arrangements accompany the bequest.
French women seek cosmetic solutions for facial dimples as the debate over whether creases can be removed or filled persists. Medical and beauty circles discuss techniques and effectiveness amid public interest.
A physician recommends consuming the most indigestible foods, yet many people defy the unusual guidance, noting they are not newlyweds and prefer practical eating habits.
An expert urges salesmen to study elocution while noting strategy matters. The advice suggests that while one can cause harm, convincing buyers requires skill and preparation.
Two Hungarian editors fought with cabers for two hours, and one was cut on the hand. His rival evidently took no chances of allowing him to come back with the pen.
A Harlem cigar maker maintained a complex personal economy with five wives relying on a weekly $15 stipend, keeping his private financial system largely self contained.
A New York woman draws notice for wearing a wristwatch on her ankle as she pursues a quirky time keeping habit. Scientists assert they have identified the skull of the missing link in evolution. A belated obituary hints at a baseball player killed last summer.
A provider offered via smiling sessions to patients for payment, yielding a durable look of delight described as lasting and not at risk of fading.
Report suggests lawmakers will swap desks and reclining chairs for benches to allow members to sleep while seated during sessions. The move aims to provide a more comfortable layout in the chamber.
Leap year statistics show 2,169 marriage licenses issued in New York during the year above the 1911 total. The leap year brought results.
About 1 000 men are housed east of Marion to start double tracking as soon as weather breaks. More workers join daily to finish the Iowa project and install a third rail east of Savannah. Perry and Manilla plants completed, coal handling facilities ready. Council Bluffs site soon under construction.
An immense drainage district named the Lamm district is planned in Hardin and Etna townships Eldora. The tile ditch will stretch 25 miles with 43 branches and use unusually large tile up to 42 inches in diameter. About 6,000 feet of tile and 350 car loads will be used at a total cost of $100,000.
Lloyd McKibban, 17, formerly paroled in 1912 from Anamosa reformatory for check forgery, sobbed as he was remanded to complete a fifteen year sentence by the parole commission at the state house. He had been released after two years, then broke his parole.
Farmers from the south half of Mitchell county organized a farmers cooperative society at Orchard. They subscribed stock totaling 3000 dollars. E G Dunn of Mason City delivered the principal address noting Iowa has 367 farmers organizations with about 70000 members.
Keokuk Motor Boat Club has disposed of bonds totaling 1000 dollars for a new club house to be built for the annual regatta of the Mississippi River Power Boat association this summer. The facility will include stalls and racks for over 100 motor boats.
Three hundred fifty lumbermen are expected in Sioux City on March 6 for the eighteenth annual convention of the Northwestern Iowa Retail Lumbermen's association. Speakers include E. C. Hole of Chicago and Nelson S. Darling of Oklahoma City.
President A EK Craig announced an endowment target of 1,000,000 dollars for Morningside College at the eighth annual banquet. The fund progress must reach this mark by the twenty fifth annual dinner.
Charles Kennann aged 23 a farm hand was thrown from a motorcycle near Bennett Iowa suffering a concussion of the brain and in serious condition.
A new pipe organ built for the Central Presbyterian Church in Nevada is ready for use. The instrument costs $2,000 and represents the latest model in organ design.
Bonds for the new 24000 dollar high school were sold to a Davenport firm at a small premium. The contract for the brick was let.
The Northwest Iowa Library association will hold its convention at Emmetsburg early in April.
The Northern Iowa Credit Men's Association held its annual meeting in Waterloo with forty members in attendance. The group comprises credit men from wholesale establishments.
German residents of Denison and nearby areas have decided to fund the construction of a $30,000 opera house on a principal business corner, signaling a major cultural addition for the city.
Iowa Falls editor Manford Evans of the Thompson Courier writes The Tramp Printer a comedy set in a Kentucky country newspaper office and to be tried before an audience at Thompson.
An Osage chapter from the Business Men's Association collaborates with Cedar Valley Seminary trustees in a drive to raise 25 thousand dollars for a new school facility. The campaign aims to expand educational capacity and support the seminary's growth.
Knoxville furrier M. W. Conwell shows a 5 ft 9 in otter pelt trapped on the Des Moines river near Harvey ten miles east of Knoxville. Trapped by John Morgan, the otter gnawed a trapper’s leg off a week earlier. Professor Osborn notes the species once appeared in Linn county streams in the 1870s.
Des Moines dates June 9 to 14 arranged for Iowa veterans homecoming linked to the G A R encampment June 10 11 12. Organizers expect former Iowans nationwide to attend and reconnect with old friends and neighbors.
Iowa banker I. McKhinney 42 president of Black Hawk National Bank and Security Savings Bank plans retirement from active labor. He will keep his posts and focus on investments while traveling. Wealth estimated around $300000.
Brayton Iowa sees the Brayton Savings bank reorganized with Niels P. Hoegh as head. Other officials include Jesse Nymand Brayton William P. Hoegh M B Nelson John R. Heiken Atlantic John C. Nelson and O F Ide Brayton. Capital is set at $12000.
H D McCoy of Knoxville Iowa aged 74 while unloading a car of apples in Estherville volunteered that he had bought and disposed of forty cars of Missouri apples this winter. This challenges the Osler theory that old men are of little value and should be eliminated.
The Farmers Elevator company of State Center is formed with Jax Nauke as president and F C Brown as secretary. At a March 5 meeting the group will consider proposals to purchase one of the town's two elevators.
E A Boggs formerly of Waterloo a bankrupt tombstone dealer borrowed two hundred thousand dollars from Iowa banks relying on church worker reputation. He was found guilty of embezzlement after a two week trial that drew widespread attention.
The semi annual muster of the Iowa Soldiers' Home showed 562 Civil war veterans present. Col. C. W. Wadsworth of New York, assistant national inspector general of homes for disabled volunteer soldiers and sailors, supervised the inspection.
Ames schedules a March 12 convocation in the new gymnasium to honor Tama Jim Wilson retiring secretary of agriculture. The event will be hosted by Ames faculty and students with a large reception planned.
A new financial institution named Kellogg Savings Bank has been organized led by A. B. Craven with officials E. J. Birchard FP. Morgan O. J. Turner and Henry Wulf. The bank carries a capital of $25,000.
Nevada farmer Frank Howell, living ten miles south of town, died by his own action. His body was discovered by his wife hanging from a barn rafter. no clear cause is stated.
Mrs. Elizabeth Struthers a colored woman over 100 years old died here last week. Known as Aunt Eliza she formerly was a slave and moved to Mount Pleasant from Hillsboro about twenty years ago.
Mrs. Lubeck Selzik won first prize in a baking contest held with the Dubuque county farmers' short course in Epworth. About two hundred enrolled for the course as work in stock and corn judging proceeds.
Norwalk newspaper the Norwalk Free Press will discontinue due to uncontrollable conditions. Publisher L. C. Cooley announced the decision, noting no control over the circumstances leading to the shutdown.
Northwestern Town Sunday school workers attended the Fort Dodge institute with strong talks from Rev. R. W. Gammon of Chicago Prof. F. G. Ward of Chicago and H. W. Tuttle of Grinnell among others delivering the addresses.
The annual meeting of the Hauge Synod of the Norwegian Lutheran church will be held at Jew ell in June.
Washington reports the Senate approved a bill to create a labor department with a cabinet officer in charge after a brief debate. The measure, already passed by the House, will require conference refinement before sending to President Taft. A separate naval appropriations scene saw a clash as Murray demanded use of the rostrum. two-teller votes on a battleship provision were defeated 174 to 156 while a single battleship amendment passed 144 to 181.
Cipriano Castro, former Venezuela president, sailed to Havana after a false rumor of exile. Zelaya, Nicaragua revolutionist, allegedly in Havana organizing a new revolt. Fire at Rehoboth Beach destroys the resort’s main area, estimated $150,000 loss. Lady Scott receives hereditary title from King George after Captain Scott’s death. Ecuador rattled by shocks with widespread damage. Wilson transition notes: Bryan as secretary of state, April 1 session. citizenship for Porto Ricans and a workingmen’s compensation act favored.
A heavy quake in Wellington New Zealand Wednesday sent artillery like reports through the city terrifying residents. Chimneys collapsed and many houses were damaged though no fatalities were reported.
The steamship Richmond of the Atlantic Coast Lumber company carrying lumber from Georgetown South Carolina caught fire in the East River on Wednesday and was beached above the Brooklyn Bridge.
Vernon Texas February 27 John Beal Sneed a wealthy ranch owner was declared not guilty on the murder charge of Al Boyce Jr shot on a street in Amarillo last September The verdict came Tuesday ending the high profile case and clearing Sneed of all charges.
Washington February 27 Senator Crawford’s bill to restrict issuing interlocutory injunctions suspending state laws and orders of state administration boards was passed by the senate Tuesday.
Albany reports Harry K. Thaw balked at taking the stand before Governor Sulzer’s committee at Matteawan hospital. Witness John Nicholson Anhut testified that Dr. Russell offered a $20,000 bribe for Thaw’s release and that agent H A Hoffman paid $25,000 with repayment and release conditions. Anhut described Russell’s conduct and denied using Sulzer’s name.
Secretary Knox announced the income tax amendment is now part of the Constitution as Article XVI after ratification by more than two thirds of the states. No further executive action is needed. Congress must take the next steps to implement the amendment.
In RMuelhausen Germany on February 28 a German sergeant Helfersnider was killed and his lieutenant Linke seriously injured when their aircraft fell during a flight.
Gen Cipri ano Castro former Venezuelan dictator arrived in Havana aboard the Saratoga from New York and was greeted by cheering crowds.
A French aviator Marcel G Brin dejonc des Moulinais flew from Paris to London in three hours and five minutes setting a new flight record. The time was achieved Tuesday, with London reporting the performance from England.
Constantinople February 27 An unconfirmed dispatch says Kiamil Pasha former grand vizier of Turkey died in Alexandria Egypt from apoplexy stroke.
News from Sydney reports the deaths of two expedition members under Dr. Douglas Mawson, part of the 1911 Tasmanian voyage to explore near the southern magnetic pole. Lieutenant B E Nin nis of the Royal Fusiliers and Doctor Merz of Switzerland are among the losses, with Mawson’s party likely to winter on Adelie Land.
The Supreme Court sustained the Mann Act, affirming Congress may regulate interstate vice. Convictions upheld include Della Bennett Emma Harris Bessie Green for transporting girls Chicago to Cincinnati and Effie Hoke Basile Economides for luring a girl from New Orleans to Beaumont Texas. Louis Athanasaw Michael Sampson also affirmed in Florida case.
An official dispatch from Constantinople reported 10,000 dead among Montenegrins and Servians after the last clash with Ottoman forces at Scutari. It notes Bardan recaptured by the Turks and suggests Montenegro cannot sustain the war.
In St. Joseph Missouri Harry Chapman and Mrs Elizabeth Chapman who divorce d 25 years ago have remarried at Mrs Chap mans home where she lies critically ill not expected to live. Mrs Chapman is well to do while her husband has little means. Children from their former marriage are dead.
Washington February 28 President elect Wilson declined membership in the Chevy Chase club a group that includes former President Roosevelt President Taft and government officials.
James I Gillespie a fireman was killed and a dozen others narrowly escaped death when the buildings at 140 142 Whitehall Street collapsed on Wednesday afternoon in Atlanta Georgia.
In London on Monday Mrs Emmeline Pankhurst was arrested in connection with the bomb explosion that damaged the country residence of David Lloyd George. She was arraigned at Epsom.
George W. Lee returned home in Washington on Monday to discover his wife Laura B. Lee aged thirty eight dead by self inflicted action. Coroner reports the motive as a mystery.
President Taft submitted a message to Congress advocating a formal budget system. He proposes a bureau of central administrative control headed by a controller to consolidate auditing offices and serve as a clearinghouse for revenue and expenditure recommendations.
In the senate chamber Senator Cullom of Illinois aged eighty four fell while trying to rise. The chamber paused as Root and others rushed to help him to a chair. He was taken to his capitol office where Dr Foster found he was shaken but not seriously injured.
James A. Moffett, president of Standard Oil Co. of New Jersey, died in Palm Beach Florida after a brief illness. Born in Parkersburg he rose to the corporation's vice presidency.
Washington February 27 the senate approved a bill establishing three federal judicial districts in Alabama. The measure sets district boundaries and designates court locations to streamline federal cases across the state.
English lightweight Matt Wells defeated Australian champion Hughie Mehegan on points over 20 rounds at the National Sporting Club in London on Monday night.
A major blaze in Warren on Monday afternoon leveled the Warren City Tank and Bottles company plant valued at $200,000. Firefighters battled the flames as the factory, one of the city’s largest, was completely destroyed.
The Senate passed the $180,000,000 annual pension bill in 25 minutes with under 15 minutes of debate. It marks the largest pension appropriation to date.
Mynheer Row of Holland arrived in New York aboard the Noordam with twelve children and eight grandchildren in tow. The party tipped the eastern edge of Hoboken as they disembarked Tuesday.
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