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Newspaper
Monticello Express
Location
Monticello, Iowa, United States of America
Date
Mar 01, 1906
Page
5
Poem about a moonlit night visitor a cat who scratches and meows seeking shelter and a warm window view. The speaker notes the cat’s frenzied entrance, frozen whiskers, and restless roaming before retreating when no suitable perch or sharpening spot is found.
Four year old Margaret hears a tale of creation from her six year old brother after watching Peter Pan with Maude Adams in the title role. He misremembers the Lord making a wife for Adam from his rib, declaring the wife’s name was Maude Adams.
A Washington bishop challenged a senator about attending church. The senator answered that he found many hypocrites there, prompting the bishop to respond that there is always room for another one. The Chicago Tribune reports the exchange with light humor.
In a Sunday school scene the superintendent plans a short talk by Mr L but a small voice from the rear of the room corrects him with a lisp saying amen and sit down. The exchange captures a humorous end as students relax after hours of confinement and await dismissal.
In a village church a choir raised a disturbance with loud gossiping by several women. The minister signaled a sudden halt to singing and, during the hymn, everyone stopped. One offender boasted I always fry mine in lard prompting the minister to resume and restore silence.
A juvenile commercial traveler vacationing with his uncle in the country is asked to give grace. He delivers an awkward, formal blessing thanking the recipient and hoping for future orders, ending with amen. The Burlington Hawkeye notes the humorous misuse of a business tone at a prayer event.
W. R. Stubbs, a leading Kansas Republican, visited Washington with his young son and toured the senate gallery. The boy asked about the senate chaplain Rev. Edward Everett Hale, who replied that Hale looks over the senate before praying for the country.
Harper's Weekly recounts Representative John Sharp Williams telling a Mobile tale of a Black convert who challenges another’s claim of pleurisy. The convert upholds Christian Science belief, insisting the aunt has no illness and later asserts she is dead, prompting a terse exchange.
A New York weekend visitor in a Hudson Valley town invites friends on a Sunday boat cruise. A 18 year old asks her mother for permission. the mother refuses citing Sunday restraint. The girl mentions occasional carriage rides to the cemetery as permissible leisure.
A Philadelphia Press exchange captures Henpeck’s anxious warning to a visitor about naming Marla. The guest teases the occasion with a flippant question, while Henpeck hushes him, fearing Marla’s reaction to casual speech about her.
A London inquest heard a medical expert testify that the deceased had weak digestion and that mushrooms are not fresh when eaten. Such mushrooms can have serious effects on persons with weak digestion.
The Iowa Normal Monthly sketches the Anamosa High School district established April 19 1859 with first directors Shaw Dimmitt Dickinson Fisher Hadley Crane and Graham. It traces leadership from I C Lusk 1869 1873 and Buckley Buckley to Buckley extensions and accreditations. Enrollment stands 142 with 24 graduates planned for 1906.
The Monticello Independent School District presents receipts and disbursements for the year ending February 19 1906 noting balances in the School House, Teachers and Contingent Funds. Highlights include taxes received 1610 93 for the School House fund and 7175 87 for the Teachers fund with 7008 10 paid to teachers. balances carried forward and transfers between funds are shown.
A nostalgic survey recalls old fashioned manners and attire such as shot bags, barn-door trousers, boot jacks and carpet bags. The piece contrasts past habits with modern times while noting a cough cure praised by mothers and sold by O. H. Soetje for coughs croup and whooping cough to ease breathing and remove inflammation.
A column from the New York Press offers humorous social musings on women talking circles, honesty tied to money, and the dilemma of seeking love. The piece quips about drinking requests, male generosity, and the heartbreak of a girl counting past loves.
George Scroggie announces two farms for sale in Clay township four and six miles north of Onslow. The 240 acre and 110 acre properties feature good buildings windmills and reservoirs with possession available March 1 1907. Easy terms offered.
Eighty acres of land one and a half miles north of Monticello is for sale or rent to a responsible tenant. Address it to D Hullinger Clinton Iowa.
Swiss steamboat companies establish measurement rules to avoid age disputes. Children under two feet high travel free while those four feet four inches tall pay half fare, and dogs follow similar reduced rates.
Popular pension attorney from Pittsfield Vermont recommends Dr King s New Life Pills for health. Bucklen s Arnica Salve praised for minor injuries. Drugstore ads promote quack remedies and jokes about telegrams signaling illness or visitors.
Multiple brief notices promote Kodol Dyspepsia Cure for indigestion with claims of relief from belching and palpitations. Witch Hazel Salve by E. C. De Witt & Co. is touted as genuine against counterfeits. St. Joseph Gazette notes a Minnesota man memorizes the Bible.
Mrs. Ora A. Stephens of Port Williams Ohio credits Dr. King's New Discovery with stopping a two year cough and curing suspected consumption. The ad claims a two bottle cure and trial bottle offer, with Chicago News noting mild weather misstatements and polar winter.
Mrs Mary H Walters of Columbus Ohio credits Electric Bitters with curing stomach weakness and insomnia after useless drugs. O H Soetje advertises the tonic at 50c guaranteed. Hollister's Rocky Mountain Tea touted for cleansing and enriching the blood at 35c. Also mentions train rates to North and South Dakota via Chicago Milwaukee and St Paul Railway and quips on Horace Greeley and a groundhog myth.
The Chicago Milwaukee and St Paul Railway offers $32 to California points and $29 to North Pacific coast destinations with many Western and Northwest locations at reduced rates. Children half fare. liberal stopovers allowed. Tickets usable in Tourist sleepers. For details contact the nearest agent or I A Miller, General Passenger Agent, Chicago.
Atlanta resident Jake Moore testifies that Kodol Dyspepsia Cure relieved his indigestion in one day after twenty years of suffering. The ad credits Kodol with digesting food, relieving sour stomach gas belching and strengthening digestion. Sold by C H Soetje druggist.
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