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Newspaper
Monticello Express
Location
Monticello, Iowa, United States of America
Date
Jun 06, 1912
Page
8
The item surveys humorous and curious quips about cars, clocks, women, and daily life. It cites jokes about a 24 hour clock, a female airship pilot, and strange inventions, with social quips on manners and habits. The tone is light and editorial in a 1900s suburban column.
A hat feather torn away by wind in New York leads to a case of retributive justice with a sharp moral undertone. The incident centers on a woman and an impulsive act of fate.
A Chicago resident was arrested after dancing on a public street while wearing only a hat. Police in Chicago are cited as not favoring public dancing in costumes.
An Ohio farmer supposedly regained sight after two teeth were pulled, but the claim is likely tied to the dentist bill. The anecdote frames a humorous misperception linking dental work to a cure.
An aviator says he was forced to descend due to an attack by sea gulls. He quips that if he were a true nature faker he would have claimed flying fish instead.
A spring robin is shot down south and frozen to death up north. The short life ends amid trouble, highlighting seasonal bird casualties across areas.
Cotton manufacturers cling to a suggestion of boosting the market by getting Chinese to lengthen their shirts and now they want women to widen their skirts.
A cautionary note about an Englishman who kept a walking stick made from love letters he received during courtship. He might be peeved if the young woman borrowed it and wore it over his shoulders, turning a keepsake into a borrowed wardrobe prop.
A New York court rules that a man earning $160000 annually is not in affluent circumstances. It notes he can still buy a square meal occasionally and give the waiter a modest tip.
A New Jersey woman wins a verdict from a sympathetic jury after suing a man who called her an old maid. The decision underscores changing views toward gender roles and insults in modern society.
A tailor observes that automobiling appears to enlarge the chest but admits he has not measured the head. The remark blends humor with a critique of practical tailoring in an era of rising motor use.
A historical note argues that ships are referred to as she because the vessel is hailed as the pinnacle of naval construction yet continually falls short of that ideal. The remark underscores enduring skepticism about maritime industry boasting.
A New York couple waited eight years before marrying, reflecting on the fatal step they took. The piece hints at serious consequences and solemn resolve as they enter the holy bonds.
An August note warns that sparing the first fly of the season may backfire, suggesting pity could lead to regrets as the season progresses. The remark frames a cautionary view on early empathy toward pests.
A Boston suffragist declares there are too many idle men and issues a challenge to the average spinster who has thought there were not enough. The remark reflects the era's push for women’s involvement in public life and marriage norms.
The article notes a parasite endangering the peanut crop and districts emphasizing a possible shift from politics to urgent agricultural relief, highlighting a shared national concern for vital food supplies.
A historical note from Pella recalls Central College’s response to the Civil War draft. Dean Currier led his Latin class and 128 students and professors left to enlist, part of a 123 member group with 43 officers and 23 fatalities among those who departed for the war. The campus and community stood in patriotism and sacrifice as doors opened to grim service.
The parole of Bill Richards, jailed for an 18 year sentence for a crime he committed in Creston, draws strong local interest. His companions Frank Baird was tried and sentenced. Charles Redrup escaped with Baird and Richards and has not been seen since.
The main building of the 1878 Oskaloosa college burned Tuesday night in an unknown origin fire. The institution previously led the West of Chicago Christian educational effort and split in 1881 with part of its faculty helping establish Drake University in Des Moines.
Ottumwa sends a large delegation of fifty four to the state convention of the United Commercial Travelers. Special cars carry the group from Ottumwa to Burlington in appreciation of Hugh H. Doran who serves as grand counselor of the U C T.
Joseph Marx, the Le Mars Iowa boy missing since February 16, was found in New Castle Wyoming by Mayor David A. Fakler. He is being held pending instructions from Iowa authorities.
The body of 72 year old Mrs Anna Bewherst was found in her Epworth residence in Dubuque County. Authorities believe she had been dead about two days and she lived alone as a widow.
Fritz Fellbaum aged 36 of Dubuque has been missing since May 18. He had worked near the Glab cottage sixteen miles north of the city on the Mississippi. Fears are entertained that he ended his life.
At a Business Men's association meeting it was decided to petition the county board of supervisors to submit to voters the question of bonding the county for funds to erect a new court house.
Harvey Peterson aged 15 was killed instantly by lightning while closing a wire gate near Independence. His companion Clint Christensen escaped unharmed as the bolt struck Peterson.
Mr and Mrs Theodore Johnson woke to find their 8 month old daughter Virginia Elizabeth dead in her bed. Authorities investigated the infant’s passing and reported no immediate cause.
Dr. Carl E. Seashore, head of philosophy and psychology at the state university, has been elected to lead Columbia University's psychology department in New York.
Melbourne Savings Bank files amended articles to raise capital stock from 11000 to 16500, elevating its status. The bank, incorporated in 1905, operates at Melbourne.
Dubuque is preparing elaborate events for the Iowa Liquor Dealers association three day session June 10 to 12 with about three hundred delegates expected to attend.
Edward Evans aged 12 was killed while playing baseball with friends near his home. He was struck in the stomach by a hard batted ball and died shortly after.
Cedar Rapids will host 1200 to 1500 bankers for the twenty fifth Iowa Bankers association convention on June five and six. National figures will address the gathering including Elbert Hubbard of Aurora New York Adam Bede of Pine City Minnesota William J Burns the detective Hugh J Cooper builder of the Keokuk dam B I Harris president of the Illinois Bankers association and Prof C F Curtiss dean of agriculture at Ames.
Earl Eirjah a poultry husbandry student from Clarence Ta has been named the diamond medal winner for the best written agricultural article awarded by Clarence A Shamel editor of the Orange Judd Farmer Third place goes to C C Un a Chinese student of Canton China and second place to M M Allender of Fairfield Ta
Boone Floyd Klippel of Ogden owner of an automobile led three Ogden boys on motorcycles in a race between Boone and Ogden. Klippel lost control as the bike somersaulted, finishing right side up atop a barbed wire fence along the road.
A two day school of instruction in Ottumwa drew 150 Royal Neighbors of America from Appanoose Monroe Van Buren Davis and Wapello counties. Supreme officers led by Mrs Myra B Senright supreme oracle of Kansas City attended with Miss Bertha Severson district deputy in charge of the school.
A 3 year old boy, son of Mr and Mrs John Tauschmann of Clarinda, was spurred by a large rooster while in the yard. The attack pierced the neck and severed the jugular vein, leaving the child near bleeding to death.
A class fight at Tilford Academy injured a student and a young woman when a buggy was struck by an automobile driven by classmates. One student suffered a serious knife wound. An investigation is underway.
Nelson N. Nelson aged 45 shot himself at midnight in the home of Mrs. Laura Jones. He declared before dying that rejection by Mrs. Jones had prompted the act.
The Glenwood school board awarded the high school addition contract to Fair Brothers of Glenwood. Bids ranged from 5425 to 8222 dollars, with the winning bid being the lowest.
After a five year divorce, William Phillip Suttop and his ex wife from Red Oak, both 62, were remarried in Creston by Justice N. Skinner. Local report notes the couple renewed vows in the city office.
Mrs. Elmer Boughton of Vinton, wife of a paperhanger and decorator, sustained very serious injuries from a gasoline stove explosion she was trying to light. The extent of her injuries was described as possibly fatally severe.
Surveyors continue field work for the proposed Northwestern railway freight cutoff south of Belle Plaine to dodge steep grades near Belle Plaine and Luzerne.
Grover Berry of Davenport was found dead in a box car at Rock Island railroad freight yards. His neck was broken and foul play is feared.
Frederick Schull ten year old son of Otto Schull of Rockdale a Dubuque suburb drowned while swimming in Cat fish creek in an accident authorities reported.
The Women's Relief corps of Vinton bought a granite monument costing 500 dollars with a statue of a Union soldier to place in the soldiers' lot at Evergreen cemetery.
Paullina announces a live stock fair on September 25 featuring cattle and horses. Open to amateur exhibitors only with no territorial limits specified.
Mason City Chase Manufacturing Co reorganizes elevating capital from 250000 to 500000. W L Patton of Patton Brothers elected secretary and manager to oversee the expansion.
Des Moines State Treasurer W. W. Morrow visited an At ton farm this week and shipped livestock to Chicago markets totaling about eight thousand dollars.
Detective finishes cross examination of Bert Franklin in the Darrow trial detailing alleged bribery acts. Franklin testified that Darrow gave $4,000 for the Lockwood bribery and faced pressure from Lecompte Davis, with further payments and immunity affecting his testimony.
Wilbur Wright the noted aviator was buried in Dayton after a public funeral at the First Presbyterian church officiated by Rev. Maurice H. Wilson. The burial service was private and Dayton paused business for the hour of the funeral.
New York June 3 report: the 50,000 ton White Star liner to replace the Titanic in 1913 will be named Britannic. The ship will be 869 feet long, mirroring the Olympic in size.
Ad Wolgast world lightweight champion won a six round decision over Young Jack O'Brien in Philadelphia in a notable short bout Friday. O'Brien showed grit but could not match Wolgast during the sparring exchanges and crucial moments.
Princeton June 1 Prof Jesse Benedict Carter formerly of Princeton is appointed director of the American academy at Rome succeeding F D Miller the artist who lost his life on the Titanic.
New York June 1 a group of 49 independent moving picture manufacturers and film exchanges plan to form The Universal Film Manufacturing Company in an incorporation move aimed at coordinating film output and distribution.
Joe Dawson, driving a National car, clinched the 500 mile event at Indianapolis in 6 hours 21 minutes 6 seconds averaging 78.72 mph. Ralph de Palma led early but car trouble cost him the win. second went to Tetzloff, third to Hughes. Dawson earned over $30,000 with the victory.
Senate resolutions thank Captain Rostron and Carpathia crew for rescuing 705 Titanic survivors. Gold medals to Rostron requested. Astor hosts luncheon in New York. Booth’s blindness noted after cataract surgery. Rose buried in Golconda, Illinois.
Americans in Heidelberg report the death of Daniel Hudson Burnham famed architect after a brief illness during a cure visit with Mrs Burnham and her son in law. He was taken to the Akademisches hospital Friday and died of Brights disease and arterial sclerosis. Cremation has occurred and ashes will be sent to America next week.
Cyrus F. McNutt, longtime associate of Clarence Darrow in the McNamara cage trial and also counsel for Darrow in his bribery case, died Saturday in Los Angeles after a period of ill health.
Providence Rhode Island June 4 Speaker Clark captured Rhode Island ten delegates to the Democratic national convention with 5712 votes against Governor Wilson 1580 and Governor Harmon 728 in complete returns.
A Memorial Day storm swept New York City on June 1, scattering crowds, halting ball games, disturbing services, and forcing watercraft to seek cover as rain and wind disrupted events.
Miners and operators in the eastern Ohio district report to the gub scale committee that they are unable to reach an agreement affecting thousands of miners. The conference was held in Wheeling West Virginia on June 1.
In North Yakima on June 4 Philip O. Parmalee, a Wright brothers aviator, died when his biplane overturned after a gust, plunging 400 feet. His mechanician arrived fifteen minutes late. Parmalee’s skull was fractured. At Bremen, Albert Buchstaetter and Lieutenant Stille died in a 200 foot fall from a monoplane in front of thousands. Both wrecks left the pilots mangled beyond recognition.
Wytheville Va June 4 After a two and a half hour deliberation the jury found Claude Swanson Allen guilty of murder in the second degree for killing Judge Thornton L Massie at Hillsville in March. The jury recommended a fifteen year penitentiary term and suspended sentence to allow testimony in related cases.
Atlantic City June 1 four men reportedly confessed in a graft investigation led by Detective W J Burns. Indictments are expected as others express willingness to reveal details. The accused are tied to an alleged bid to replace the boardwalk with an office cement project.
Parkersburg West Virginia June 4 The birth of his fifteenth child has given Representative John M Hamilton of the Fourth district of West Virginia the largest family of any member of the lower house of congress.
Residents of Havana barricade homes in fear of an uprising. Reports claim Spanish firms sold 10 000 knives and machetes to negroes to influence events, a claim sent to President Gomez.
One man died and fourteen people were severely injured when a sightseer’s auto skidded and turned turtle on Hoffman boulevard in Queens on Friday. The incident drew immediate response from local authorities and emergency crews.
R T Cooper former Lyons New York Methodist pastor was convicted in Minneapolis police court on a statutory charge and sentenced to 300 days in the workhouse.
Washington June 1 Taft aides say the revolt is an incipient uprising backed by Gomez supporters to gain sympathy before elections. Rebels under Estenez and Ivanho push a fresh campaign of murder and pillage in Oriente province aided by armed black detachments, with women fighting among insurgents. Daiquiri steel mill and cane plant burned as marauders strike.
President Taft warned Orozco not to interfere with Americans in Mexico. United States Consul Freeman ordered Americans at Vallardena to flee to Durango. A cabinet meeting outlined Orozco’s manifesto threatening destruction of American property amid feverish anti American sentiment in Chihuahua.
Roosevelt carries all 21 congressional districts and the state in New Jersey, securing all 28 delegates to Chicago with a 15000 plurality over Taft and La Follette. Wilson wins the Democratic nomination by taking 24 of the 28 delegates.
Cornelius J. Doyle of Greenfield was chosen unanimously by the Republican state central committee as secretary of state candidate to fill the Rose vacancy. He was appointed by Governor Deneen to serve the unexpired term and took office after bond approval and supreme court confirmation.
Two hundred members of the Coopers union No. 30 walked off the Milwaukee breweries on Saturday. They demand a wage scale of 45 cents an hour and Saturday afternoons off plus a two year contract.
John Rockey aged fifty died in a Pittsburg hospital from stab wounds inflicted by his seventeen year old daughter Mrs Mair five weeks earlier during a family quarrel.
Philippopolis reports mass meetings across Bulgaria on June 4 to protest Turkish barbarities. All political parties unite to decide best methods to protect Christian communities.
The waiters strike hit 1 000 people in Pabst's Harlem on West 126th Street as 65 of 75 waiters walked off, joined by three cooks. The unrest disrupts service at the popular restaurant area in New York City.
Washington June 3 report says Senator Borah's eight hour labor bill was the chief business as the senate focused on passing the measure while conference on the agricultural bill occupied the day.
The Belmont strike that started three weeks ago has spread with 4000 waiters out on Saturday. Twenty one hotels, six restaurants and two clubs are affected as restaurants and hospitality venues face disruption.
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