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Newspaper
Monticello Express
Location
Monticello, Iowa, United States of America
Date
Jul 18, 1912
Page
9
A collage of quips and quirky notes from The Monticello Express includes jokes about peach crops electric fans and wartime chatter. It mentions a New Jersey arrest for raising mosquitoes a Harvard professor claiming to revive life and satirical comments on fashion and social trends.
A satirical snippet notes the manager of a losing team struggles to explain his woes while a judge meets late. It jokes about a man owning a car yet not mortgaging his home and mocks weather reporting. It ends with a misattribution about a New York man arrested for stealing collars.
Report notes French airframes are being adapted to carry ammo as a precaution. Observers warn that even unloaded aircraft pose risks due to structural changes and handling hazards.
A California resident writes to his congressman requesting a copy of the Congressional Record claiming it might cure his insomnia. The letter frames the document as a potential remedy and asks for guidance on obtaining a copy.
A court declares it is not lawful for a man to gamble poker in his own house though a wife’s absence could influence the decision. The passage uses odd imagery about a boat and a genius in Norway.
A Berlin policeman shot three burglars without notifying the morning picture men. The incident is noted as a serious misstep. in Paris such a mistake could have cost him his job.
A French duelist is described as harmless like a chess master while a French taxicab bandit is portrayed as a dangerous figure to encounter in a dark alley, highlighting a stark contrast in perceived danger.
A Chicago hotel has abolished the register and guests sign cards filed out of sight, signaling the passing of another cherished hotel tradition.
A brunette in New York seeks a divorce claiming her husband raves in his sleep about Blondie. She objects to the color of his affections and says the nights are unsettled by his statements.
A Chicago man moved his residence by sailing it on the lake, illustrating how locals use the lake beyond boiling purposes and showcasing Chicago ingenuity.
A scientist reports creating artificial malaria, a breakthrough welcomed by researchers but provoking public concern and ethical questions about biosecurity. The remark likens public fear to a protest frog, reflecting unease over manipulating disease.
A spoofing critic mocks a scientist who calls kissing the most dangerous act. The quip then targets an "after-dinner speaker" who overestimates his own abilities.
A Washington man mocks Congress by saying the Star Spangled Banner is not singable and suggests they should have heard the House of Representatives attempt it. The quip invites reflection on which classic or ragtime tunes might survive such a vocal test.
Students at a New York college adopt a resolution to refrain from treating one another, hoping to gain moral courage and increase their spending money if they maintain the pledge.
A New York judge sent a woman to jail for beating her husband and argued that if the husband had beaten her he would have jailed him, claiming to treat the wife the same way to protect other women's rights.
In Mount Ayr Iowa farmers report a sharp rise in small grain cutting marking a historic week. Wheat acreage is estimated to be five to ten times prior levels with the best yield yet. Oats are nearly ready for harvest and corn grows strong with adequate moisture. rain next week could boost the corn crop and timothy hay yield looks large.
The oats harvest has begun in Marshalltown area central Iowa as farmers work the fields. Harvest should be in full swing within a week with early planted plots on southern slopes and light soils. Yields are expected to be heavy though some areas show rank straw reducing grain output.
Judge Addison Oliver a prominent pioneer and philanthropist from Onawa died at his home. He previously served as state representative state senator and circuit judge and was elected to Congress in 1874 serving four years.
Des Moines reports that Riverside Coal Co. faces liquidation as Judge Bradshaw in district equity court signs an order to sell the Riverside mine or sufficient property to cover outstanding indebtedness.
Clinton Miss Mercedes Funnell aged five daughter of Policeman Charles Funnell fell over a cliff at Eagle Point park during Fourth of July celebrations. She was caught in a tree top about thirty five feet below, suffering a broken leg in two places and other injuries.
In 1853 Thomas Montgomery bought 80 acres north of West Liberty for 400 dollars. He sold to son Thomas Jr. in 1884 for 4000 dollars. A recent deal closes with W A Phelps as the new owner for 14000 dollars.
The 35th annual state shoot by the Iowa Sportsmen's Association opened in Fort Dodge with about 150 shooters from nine states. Prizes total over $1,500 plus numerous cups and trophies to be awarded.
Dr. C. P. Christiansen was seriously hurt in a head on crash between an automobile and a motorcycle. He was thrown from the bike and suffered a compound fracture below the knee and severe facial lacerations.
George Stoughton of Maquoketa committed suicide by hanging in a corn crib on his farm about six miles east of town. The cause is not stated but is believed to be anxiety over religious matters.
The champion Iowa fire team known as Bob and Bob and partners Carl and Pat were shipped Tuesday morning to Sioux City to compete in the state firemen tournament.
R. P. Willis sells the Alta Advertiser to John R. Ball of Hampton who has taken possession. Willis purchases the Elk Point Courier at Elk Point, South Dakota.
Patrick Brennan one of Manson's oldest settlers died at age 89 and was buried in town Monday. He settled near Manson forty years ago.
Special trains brought three thousand Odd Fellows and visitors for the dedication of the home for old folks completed at a cost of $85 000. Grand Master Stevenson of Council Bluffs gave the dedication address.
City council outlines plan to establish a municipal market place in Marshalltown where farmers may bring produce to sell directly to consumers, aiming to boost local commerce and provide a fresh food venue.
A blaze of unknown origin destroyed the Chappel livery barn in Indianola, burning four horses a number of rigs and city tools. The total loss to the barn and its contents was $4 000.
Coroner's jury assigns blame for the shooting of William Reinhart by Nelson Morris a young clerk Morris fled the city and remains at large.
A. R. Franklin, prominent citizen and member of the city council and school board, died suddenly in a grain field near town while assisting Ike Kiburz during the harvest. He toppled over onto a sheaf of grain, dying of heart failure without warning.
Iowa City professor Thomas H. Mc Bride head of geology at the State University of Iowa travels to the Pacific coast for two months of botanical field research on Mount Tacoma. He plans to work with government scientists during the expedition.
Des Moines reports John Horn aged 52 a miner was instantly killed when struck by a westbound Rock Island freight train while crossing the Rock Island bridge at Four Mile Creek east of Des Moines. Horn worked at the Economy coal mine and was en route to work.
Newton and Baxter ball teams faced strong church protests after playing a Sunday game here. At the regular union meeting, churches adopted resolutions urging that the offense not be repeated.
Sioux City Associated Charities prepares an anti tuberculosis campaign asking doctors nurses and hospitals for information on all tuberculosis patients with records to be kept of all affected individuals in the community.
W. T. Jones a Woolstock hardware dealer and three Woolstock and Eagle Grove residents suffered painful injuries when the Jones auto backed down an embankment. Mrs. Henrietta Jones and Mrs. J. E. Poole both of Woolstock and Mrs. Ben Moon of Eagle Grove were injured.
Automobilists in Harlan and Shelby counties schedule a two day race meeting on July 12 and 13 in western Iowa. Purses total $1,500 and six races are set for each day, promising a record event.
Lightning caused the burning of the old Watson mill two miles south of Elliott. Built in the 1860s, it had been repaired and with new process machinery still produced a good grade of flour before the blaze.
Council Bluffs police report 179 arrests in June with 52 speeding violations by car and motorcycle drivers. Fines from speeding totaled 456.40 dollars as part of the month’s enforcement.
George Barkdahl is jailed in Mason City awaiting investigation for allegedly writing fake insurance policies for the Modern Woodmen of America. Barkdahl was arrested at Ventura while boarding a train to Mason City.
The parents of John Waddall, who died by his own action at Rock Island station in Flint three weeks ago, are found living in Onawa Monona county per a letter to local officers from the Monona county sheriff.
Henry Newton of Waterloo is jailed in Johnson County after a Waterloo incident where he deserted his dying wife and eloped with his sister in law Elsie Hanson. The Iowa City police report details the family scandal and Newton’s current detention.
Frank Cody aged 26 from Waterloo Iowa died in the first professional motorcycle race at Nutwood Park. His machine collided with a rival’s, he was pitched forward and run over.
In a special election the town of Gilman approved a $12,000 bond for a municipal water works project with only nine votes against the measure.
Fort Dodge reports a sensational case as Fred E. Coles 38 proprietor of the Crawford hotel shoots himself. Coles was a well known hotel man in Iowa with no clear motive.
Mrs Daniel Maloney, wife of a young farmer northwest of Knoxville, suffered a likely fatal skull fracture in a barn lot runaway accident at her home. Recovery not expected.
Des Moines reports Judge Smith McPherson of the federal court will travel from Red Oak on Tuesday to hear equity arguments in several cases.
Newton report Arley Enfield was arraigned before Justice Carey on a charge of assault with intent to commit murder after stabbing three men at Sully on the fourth. A preliminary hearing is set for July 25.
Joseph Horn aged 17 son of a Washington county farmer was found delirious in a Richmond barn with a bullet in his brain. He will probably die. Murder is suspected.
Iowa suffragists plan receptions and literature at the state fair to press a suffrage plank in the Republican platform and seek early passage of a joint resolution for a constitutional amendment. They will also present the measure to the Democratic convention if needed. The effort includes campaign bunting and active outreach through a suffrage cottage and speeches.
National committeeman Martin J. Wade from Iowa will urge Governor Woodrow Wilson and Governor Thomas R. Marshall to attend the Iowa Democratic state convention in Cedar Rapids on July 25. N. F. Reed of Ottumwa extended the invitation, stressing Wilson's presence as essential to acquaint Iowa Democrats with his plans. Wade plans a Chicago meeting to discuss the appeal.
Iowa shoe dealers after their state convention in Iowa City plan a bill for the next legislature to end misbranding of prices. They charge a growing number of sample shoe outlets mislead by stamping prices like 4 or 5 dollars and reselling shoes bought for 1.75 or 2.00 at 2.50 as samples. They often rent upstairs rooms and advertise a sample line to reap profits.
The corner stone of the new Methodist Episcopal church was laid with ceremonies on Wednesday evening. Dr. A B Craig of Morningside College gave the address. Completion is hoped by mid November. The church will cost about $33 000. The church parsonage and two lots are valued above $40 000. Rev. C H Kamphoefner serves as pastor.
Nine cars derailed while being switched at Camp Town near Madrid. The cars ran off the spur into the Des Moines River and will require a steam derrick several days to recover the wreckage.
Spirit Lake will host the Iowa postmasters convention on August 6 and 7 for third and fourth class postmasters. Attendees will be housed in cottages and hotels as available.
Cedar Rapids residents will receive rebates from the gas company after its defeat in the United States Supreme Court over 90 cent gas. About $95,000 will be returned at once in rebates to customers citywide.
The disappearance of the Marlow child near Lone Rock remains a mystery. Rewards offered for information leading to a solution total 2602 dollars.
Burglars entered the Mc Guire general merchandise store the C N Walker hardware store and the Schriebrock and OConnell land office in Neola taking several hundred dollars in goods and cash.
Guthrie Center The Dunley Bros department store, the citys largest, was wiped out by a Friday fire. The stock and building were completely burned with an estimated loss of 50000 dollars.
George Rupner was likely fatally injured when his auto was struck by an interurban car in Iowa City. The vehicle was hurled sixty feet, and Rupner is the son of Sharon township's wealthiest farmer.
A U S Bureau of Plant Industry official describes a ventilated window cupboard built on the side of a kitchen. It uses slatted blinds forming the outer box with a floor roof and optional shelf, lined with fly-screen wire, topped with tin or roofing paper, and accessed by raising the lower window sash. It is praised as a major labor saving device in a modern kitchen.
Four lemons are prepared by halving and removing seeds. Juice is sweetened with sugar then diluted with water and boiled. Cornstarch mixed with salt thickens the juice which is returned to the mixture with lemon pulp and sliced orange. Cool and serve with cream.
The author shares simple tips to stop water running down the arm while washing walls or ceilings by slipping a rubber jar on the arm. A steam fast method for puddings and brown bread uses a coffee can half filled with pudding placed in a lard pail with boiling water and baked in the oven.
A pantry fritter guide uses cream and egg whites with flour, nutmeg, and salt. Beat whites into cream then fold in flour, season, and fry spoonfuls in hot lard. Drain on a napkin and serve with jelly sauce. Pull open the fritter to eat.
Boil chopped onions in cold water five minutes then discard the liquor. Reboil in fresh water until tender. Drain and squeeze the onions, press through a sieve, warm the pulp with butter pepper and salt. Add a splash of milk and simmer until thickened to desired consistency.
A grapefruit frappe is made by cooking grapefruit juice with one and a half pounds of sugar to a syrup, chilling it, and folding in stiffly beaten egg whites. Freeze and serve in frappe glasses with optional two tablespoonfuls chopped ginger or candied mint leaf as garnish.
Select good-sized carrots and scrape them. Cut them in two lengthwise and cook slowly for about forty five minutes until tender. Drain, pack in jars, add a slice of lemon and a bay leaf with a teaspoon of celery seed, fill with vinegar. Ready in a day.
Instructions from McCall's Magazine advise covering worn woolen blankets with silkeline and tacking like a comfort. Do not tie tightly as they will not slip or pack like cotton. Fleeced or cotton blankets can replace cotton wadding in quilts and are easier to handle.
Home style recipe notes boil 13 medium potatoes until well done mash them with butter the size of an egg and nutmeg then mix two teaspoons baking powder with flour to form a stiff dough roll out rest a few minutes before frying for crisp cakes.
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