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Newspaper
Monticello Express
Location
Monticello, Iowa, United States of America
Date
Jul 17, 1919
Page
7
An ad style note promotes Freezone as a cheap painless corn and callus remover for feet. It claims instant pain relief after applying a few drops to corns or calluses and states the thing lifts the callus right off without soreness. The piece also includes a tongue in cheek farm anecdote from Kansas and quoted jokes.
The Monticello News proclaims Jefferson County Florida as the heart of the watermelon seed industry. It notes eight thousand of ten thousand U.S. acres dedicated to seed production are in Jefferson County and Monticello ships carloads of seed seed orders. The Florida Times Union echoes Florida’s importance to the nation.
A fragment from a Journal of the American Medical Association style piece quotes drill hall bravado and rough justice. It contrasts Casey’s faults with resilience and debt paying while labeling some men as barely worth the cost of living.
An early 20th century health warning argues that infant deaths in civilized countries are alarmingly high and that Castoria, marked by the signature of Charles H. Fletcher, offers a safe alternative free of opiates. It cautions against narcotic syrups and tinctures harming children.
A colonial town tour in Princess Anne Maryland highlights the George Washington hotel famed for its 190 year old staircase and separate women and men stairways. The write up notes the station’s size and colonial atmosphere amid rail history. Changes in French licentiate degree exams prompt debate at the public instruction ministry with scattered views on classical requirements for candidates.
An advertisement claims Othine double strength removes freckles and heavy spots with one ounce often enough. It promises a money back guarantee if the product fails and urges readers to buy from a druggist for a clear complexion. The rest of the text includes random humor and quotes from the Indianapolis News.
A newsie bursts into a business office selling thimbles to raise funds. He is rebuffed by a stern man who questions the buyer’s interest and jokes about blue blazes. The boy deflects and makes a hasty exit with a humorous line about using the thimble as a hut.
An advertisement touts Cuticura Talcum as part of the Cuticura Trio Soap Ointment and Talcum. It promises an exquisitely scented powder for face skin baby and dusting use and claims reliability with 25c price in all outlets.
Henry A. Beers admires Roosevelt's literature noting no masterpieces rival Lincoln but highlighting ranch life and hunting trips as enduring. The Yale Review essay praises vivid adventure and descriptive passages in outdoor papers and a graphic tale of three river robbers on the Missouri.
A humorous exchange unfolds after a golf game as a sweet young woman presses Arthur about their engagement while he vows to focus on his game and be careful with his approach. The dialogue captures casual domestic wit around sport and romance.
A chaotic reminiscence notes a late night encounter at a girlfriend’s house interrupted by a stern father figure. The speaker recalls admonitions and moral judgement while contrasting warnings with a quip about charity versus parsimonious living.
Advert says old age begins with weakened kidneys and digestive organs and that GOLD MEDAL Haarlem Oil Capsules, taken daily, cleanse and support these systems to delay aging. Claims long use over 200 years and money back guarantee if it does not help, with warning to ask for the original imported Gold Medal brand.
In a dramatic exchange Life and Death debate an endless struggle. Life proposes ending the conflict with a draw and Death agrees. The moment is said to have shaped some of the world’s most renowned medical reputations.
A Chick and Turtle dialogue riffs on aging, reading tastes, and a joke about Panama. The turtle jokes about being 380 years old. The humor shifts to puns on literature and a father’s blunt reaction to his son’s misunderstanding of canal slides and action.
A collection of brief, humorous exchanges contrasts optimism and cynicism. A hopeful speaker proclaims truth will rise, while a skeptic notes the need for a crutch. Iron will is praised yet deemed dated, and a stranger wonders about rain as a resident admits sleep eases uncertainty.
A speaker questions an irrigation company investment, calling it suspicious and prompting inquiry into why water stock would be a factor. The exchange highlights concerns about the viability and prudence of the investment.
Rumors say three National League managers may retire Stallings unlikely due to ironclad contract Rickey unlikely to relinquish presidency Bezdek under pressure with Pittsburgh Oregon pursues him as athletic director He would need cancellations at Penn State and Pittsburgh Outfielder Carey could take over in Oregon if Bezdek returns to Eugene
Manager Jack Coombs declares the coming chase will be a slam bang battle not a simple Giants win. He says Philadelphia, the Giants, and six other clubs will contend for the autumn laurels in what could be one of the most bitterly fought pennant races in balldom.
John Paul Jones, a Louisiana hurler sent by McGraw to Toronto, shows promise and would stay with the Giants if roster rules allowed. A season in the International league will help him develop under George Gibson, a master at cultivating young pitchers. Lieutenant Joe Jenkins joins the Chicago White Sox in St Louis, leaving Kid Gleason with too many catchers. Connie Mack and Charley Frank team up again as Mack sends John Dykes to assist Atlanta in the Southern league race.
An economist notes money circulates quickly while workers suffer from overwork. The ordinary person quips that a dollar, by the time it reaches him, is too tired to do its work. The exchange hints at suspicion around a "frame-ups" operated by some industry.
A satirical note mocks a magnate whose wealth grows by hiring a doctor to stay in bed and a lawyer to avoid jail. The wily citizen comments that money is so easy to obtain that hunting for gold bricks is no longer necessary.
A fragmentary dialogue shows a quarrelsome exchange with lines about a pinhead and a calming citizen. Deductive Analysis and Mean Hint appear as quirky asides about a Mr Bipps and a rising relative who is closemouthed.
J. J. Tranter ex port agent of the National Trotting Association says shipping a horse to England now costs 150 to 200 dollars on boats, compared with 35 dollars before the war when vessels were available.
Scattered baseball gossip and notes cover trades from the St Louis Browns to Joe Tinker, Cyrus Williams and Del Demaree moves, amateur tours, and a Philadelphia golf title won by Mrs Ronald H Barlow. Mentions Ros Kennedy and Horace Yar., etc.
In Agana and Sumay Marines battle through 15 innings under a full moon. Manton of Sumay hits a ball through a postal office window, touching off a run as the Sumay team wins the game despite a late dash by Agana.
The text argues that while a no run no hit no man reached game would seem perfect, no such game exists and likely never will, since a true perfect game would require 27 batters retired on strikes with 81 pitches.
The article notes Claude Hendrix, a Chicago Cubs right hander, grew into a leading pitcher after initial contract holdout. He returned to the team in Kansas City, then showcased strong form on a training trip and through camp, becoming a standout with a sharp spitball and high win percentage.
Walter Gerber of the St. Louis Browns acted as sparring partner for pugilist Kid Regan during a home stay. He reportedly showed potential as a boxing figure had he pursued that sport instead of baseball. The piece also notes Sherry Magee, Jake Daubert, and Id Roush as National League batting champions.
The Brooklyn baseball club has released pitcher John Milius to the Toledo team of the American Association.
Following the Massachusetts Golf Association lead, the New Jersey State Golf Association drafts a campaign to aid club carriers by organizing a support effort linked to a forthcoming tournament.
The 1920 Olympic Games in Antwerp will take place in the city stadium for most events. Wrestling and boxing are slated for a vast hall in the zoological gardens, while rowing races will be staged at Brussels.
A colorful old man in Jefferson County eats a large catfish and wakes to find another man has taken a half pound. He discovers the theft, comments on the unexpected outcome, and a street vendor explains the popular joke about a yellow running fish known as the Shacker’s Delight.
A garbled overheard exchange suggests a car incident with a joking reference to the fire department having run over various things. No clear details on location or individuals are legible.
Advertises Dr Kilmer Swamp Root as a kidney liver and bladder medicine trusted by physicians and sold by druggists. Claims it helps organs perform their natural work and has years of proven use. Encourages sending ten cents for a sample and to mention the paper.
A teacher asks which pine has the longest needles. Lommy volunteers with the quip that the porcupine answers the question. The moment reflects a playful classroom exchange from the Bits.
In a lively exchange at Toledo the dialogue notes that every player on the team catches the ball and that there is essentially only one hitter, sparking discussion about fair roles on the club.
A collage of handwritten style phrases and jokes about walking distances landlords fences promises and vanity. The piece weaves terse quips and half heard phrases to evoke an old timey newspaper flavor with a sly social edge.
Extensive mouse experiments by Dr. Shigemitsu Chom at Goluibin University, reported to the Journal of the American Medical Association, cast serious doubt on magnesium’s value in treating cancer in humans.
Fragmentary legal notes from Baltimore Sun and Boston area reports mention a $65,000 claim, a misunderstood wish, and a dispute about personal forgiveness. Ada Boston manuscripts and a Walker reference surface amid unclear names and events.
Fragmented OCR text shows whimsical dialogue about ships and names, mentioning Philadelphia and Time's Change. Names like Marjorie and Boh appear with a jest about hair color. Overall, no clear event, date, or place forms a coherent news item.
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