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Newspaper
Monticello Express
Location
Monticello, Iowa, United States of America
Date
Jul 06, 1911
Page
8
A collection of humorous and satirical items from the Monticello Express covers diverse topics. References include taxic orders, the idea of adopting a state hymn titled Show Me, chatter about the tobacco trust, a moose wrecked Canadian Pacific locomotive, and quips about aviators and weather. The tone is light and opinionated with playful takes on current affairs and everyday life.
Dr Wiley reports from 30 pie makers that meat is not essential for mince pies while cherry pies may rely on cherries. The piece also notes social ideas on marriage and women pilots, and mentions a new millionaire appointment as NYPD chief.
The passage notes that newspapers advocating fly extermination do not imply reporters are becoming bald headed, separating advocacy from personal appearance. It treats a humorous link between pest control and journalism with irony.
Doctor Howe suggests 37 percent of criminals could have had their futures redirected by skull operations in infancy. He adds some might even have become novelists.
A New York woman refutes the old superstition that picking up a found pin brings luck, recounting how she stooped to retrieve one and suffered three broken ribs.
A Chicago man plans a three month journey to Europe funded by tips earned as a waiter. The funds come from his earnings as a server, not racing or stock tips.
A New York street car horse reportedly killed itself following a dispute, illustrating that animals can show reasoning. The incident highlights how car horses, once common, are now nearly as obsolete as the dodo in modern times.
A large collection of mummies dating to 2600 B C was offered in London but bids were too low and the sale was declared off. The market outlook for mummies this summer appears weak.
A man filing for divorce complains his wife spills hot water during his kitchen floor scrubbing, claiming interference with his rights as a husband and as a man and seeking public sympathy.
The article notes English missionary activity in China and the pressure to import opium from India, highlighting a clash where business interests temper evangelical aims. It reflects on cousins who see Christianity as acceptable if it does not disrupt commerce.
At Chicopee Massachusetts a young man who liked a voice on a graphophone found the girl who made the record and married her. The item notes that girls who write their names and addresses on storage eggs should cultivate their voices.
Four thousand more dock workers join the strike crippling Cunard Canadian Pacific White Star Dominion and Ellerman lines in Liverpool and London. Crews desert ships in sympathy as unions seek recognition and nonunion labor ends. Cargo shortages hit butter bacon eggs wheat and coal transport as prices rise and shipowners seek a wage compromise.
Edward Tilden president of the National Packing Company testified he never handled funds for Lorimer’s election. He initially said he knew Hines for a year, then said three years, and stated he had no recollection of discussing Lorimer with Hines. He denied any person or corporation sent money to him for Lorimer’s election expenses.
A blaze erupted in the Ohio after turret while repairs were underway. A red hot rivet ignited oil soaked bulkhead sending smoke and flames. Captain Buchanan ordered flooding of the after magazine to avert disaster. firemen quelled the blaze in about thirty minutes.
The First National Bank of Hartsville, New York reported the cashier Guy H. Clark is missing and a letter mailed from Utica indicates the bank was robbed of forty three thousand dollars.
Joseph B. Reichman once president of the Carnegie Trust company was found guilty of making false statements to the state banking department in New York. The verdict marks a decisive outcome in the banking oversight case and highlights regulatory scrutiny of trust institutions.
In Grand Junction Colorado a reservoir failure released water causing $100000 in damage. Five thousand cattle were drowned and several bridges were swept away. Thomas Dwyer warned ranchers downstream by telephone.
Mrs. Minnie Mc Bride, after being taken into custody at her home in Wheeling West Virginia, swallowed carbolic acid and tossed the bottle at a policeman’s head. She died within minutes.
Nathan Allen the Kenosha leather manufacturer resigns as president and director of N. R. Allen & Sons and from the First National Bank board amid allegations of financing Mrs Helen Jenkins in a half million dollar smuggling scheme. New York officials report ongoing surveillance of social figures as investigations widen.
Cornell's varsity eight wins the intercollegiate regatta on the Hudson with Columbia finishing a length and a half behind after a dramatic collapse of Columbia's bow and stroke. Pennsylvania places third, Wisconsin fourth, Syracuse last. freshmen crews win for Columbia. About 40,000 spectators, including Governor Dix, watch from Poughkeepsie.
Paris reports Joseph Cailleux as premier presenting his ministers to President Fallieres. The cabinet includes Cruppi justice De Selves foreign affairs Klotz finance Messimy war Detrasse marine Steeg public instruction Augagneur public works Couyba agriculture Lebrun colonies Renault labor. The group splits on proportional representation signaling a compromise seeking broad support.
Lincoln Beachy, the California aviator, flies his biplane around the Niagara Falls area. He circles above the cataract reaching about 2000 feet, then dives under the upper steel bridge and through the gorge near the whirlpool, skimming the water as spectators on both shores watch.
About 10 000 Masons attended the dedication of the Orphans home in La Grange Illinois. The ceremony was held on the front porch with the Grand Lodge and Most Worshipful Grand Master Albert B Ashley officiating. Hev William White Wilson served as grand orator.
New York reports the Olympic, the White Star liner, carried a record total of 2320 passengers across the Atlantic. The ship booked 7385 first cabin 495 second class and 1100 third class passengers.
The Wisconsin senate approved the initiative and referendum resolution after weeks of delay. The measure passed 18 to 9, moving to the legislature for final action.
Herbert Knox Smith, commissioner of corporations, submitted to President Taft a comprehensive two year investigation report on the steel trust. The document will soon be released publicly at the president’s urging, aiding the house committee’s ongoing inquiry.
Directors of the Chicago and Alton railway met and approved the dividend on the preferred stock, signaling a distribution decision tied to the line’s financial status. The action reflects ongoing management of capital returns to shareholders and governance of the rail asset.
A federal equity action filed by District Attorney Wise accuses an unlawful combination to restrain interstate and foreign trade in magazines. About twenty defendants include Periodical Clearing House, Doubleday, Crowell, Harper, McClure, International Magazine, Butterick, and others with officers such as Frank N. Doubleday and Charles D. Lanier named.
The new census shows the commonwealth of Australia including New South Wales Victoria Queensland South Australia Western Australia and Tasmania with a population of 4 449 495.
The Canadian Pacific Imperial Limited collided with a work train at Bears Paw Alberta fifteen miles west of Calgary. Nine people were seriously injured in the wreck. Authorities investigated the crash and conditions at the site were being assessed.
Overseer Wilbur Glen Voliva and 189 church officers and members of the Christian church in Zion were indicted at Zion City for alleged election frauds at April 5 and 18 votes. Two hundred witnesses testified as it was claimed church members were brought from across the United States to vote control the church founded by John Alexander Dowle.
The Eighth Circuit ruled the Union Pacific purchase of Southern Pacific did not restraint interstate or international commerce. Judge Adams wrote the majority citing the Standard Oil decision. Justice Van De Vanter concurred. Judge Hook dissented. The court found no substantial competition threat or illegal control.
The Cunningham Alaska coal land claims, tied to Morgan Guggenheim interests and a major coal field, are disallowed by the Department of the Interior. Secretary Fisher confirmed the ruling handed to by Commissioner Dennett, ending the challenge. Finance and political fallout included the Balnger Pinchot inquiry and removals from the public service.
United States Senator Francis Warren of Wyoming married Miss Clara Le Baron Morgan in the ball room of the Hotel Gotham. Warren is sixty seven years old and the bride thirty five.
Keio University baseball team from Japan closed its American tour with a 6 to 3 victory over the United States Naval Training Station squad in San Francisco California.
Financial circles were stunned as the stock broker Norman MacLeod & Co suspended operations revealing liabilities of 1 382 173 and assets of 410 884. The firm’s collapse sent ripples through the Philadelphia market and widened concerns about brokerage solvency.
Dr Weston H. Rice died and bank teller G C Wells was fatally injured when their car collided with a train in Oakland California. The crash disrupted traffic as investigators assumed fault and examined the scene for details.
Des Moines reports show a 2300 saloon decline in six years under state law. By July 1 Iowa will have under 700 operating saloons, with 203 cities still open and 105 towns dry. Litigation in ten counties may close nearly 100 more, signaling possible repeal efforts and a push to restore prohibition at the next legislature.
The Transcontinental Route Association fixes June date for a Marshalltown gathering promoting a river to river highway through central Iowa. Directors from the association and Commercial Club plan a parade smoker and banquet, expecting 200 to 300 automobiles with delegates from along the route.
William C. Smith, an Atlantic Produce Co. employee, drank excessive buttermilk after a hot day. He experienced stomach cramps from gas and died at 11 o'clock despite several hours of medical effort.
The Iowa State Bar association opened its seventeenth annual convention in OsKaloosa with several hundred members present. Welcome address delivered by John F. Lacey of Oskaloosa and response by C. A. Carpenter of Columbus Junction.
Fire from a slag coal pile threatened the Ferguson mills at midnight in Ottumwa. Fire crews reached the scene in time and gained control before flames could gain headway. Officials attributed the blaze to spontaneous combustion.
James A. Donnell a longtime county resident since 1872 died at his home in Winterset He was a prominent member of the G A R and of the Masonic order.
Fire of unknown origin swept Van Horne on June 30 threatening the business district and burning the electric light plant. Loss estimated over 14000 dollars.
A well dressed stranger robbed Mrs Barbara Howard at her Ottumwa residence on June 30 taking $11.65 in cash after claiming to seek a room. The incident involved a male suspect described as neatly dressed and unknown to the victim.
Henry Peters aged 36 died instantly when thrown from his wagon at his Avoca home. The incident occurred near Avoca on June 30 and Peters was described as wealthy.
Iowa City report says Judge Howell affirms Mayor Koontz rulings and upholds a $500 peddler license as the license war heads to the state supreme court.
William R. Keep, 87, longtime Shelby county resident and the county's last surviving Mexican War veteran, died in Harlan on June 30.
Charles Boyle is bound over to the grand jury on a charge of robbing the North Western depot. In default of a $1,000 bond he remains in jail. Police say they caught Boyle in the act of robbing the depot.
Jefferson, June 30. A B Hungerford, former Carroll Herald owner, has purchased the Jefferson Free Lance from W F E Lovejoy and takes possession of the paper.
Achorn Hungara, a Mojave Indian from Needles, will record nine dialects and over 300 songs with the UC anthropology department. Captain Jack Jones acts as interpreter as the songs are sung for several days each and later translated into English. The effort aims to illuminate southwest native history and linguistic connections.
The Princess Kawananakoa of Hawaii attended King George’s coronation in London. She acknowledges Uncle Sam’s authority and aligns with the American flag. She is a cousin to Queen Liliuokalani and to Miss Anna Douglass Graham, newly married to Jay Gould.
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