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Newspaper
Monticello Express
Location
Monticello, Iowa, United States of America
Date
Jul 04, 1912
Page
5
A montage of wry quips from The Monticello Express lampoons weather fear, fashion, and public folly. Notes on weddings, money, fleas, hats, and a barber collapse mix with jokes about milk bacteria and air travel, reflecting playful newspaper humor of the era.
A man so absorbed in political news that he forgot a planned fishing trip, illustrating how distraction can derail plans and priorities. The anecdote highlights the clash between civic engagement and leisure.
The department of agriculture hints at sparrows as a potential savory dish while noting the bird’s constant association with insects in readers’ minds. The remark blends poultry appetite with entomological imagery in a light cultural aside.
A college professor notes that Americans are overworked, a comment that resonates as a striking yet concise reflection on labor and academia.
A clergyman quips that golf keeps 100,000 caddies from Sunday school, yet notes the vivid vocabulary they gain. The remark playfully contrasts leisure sport with moral instruction.
A witty remark notes a man who lassoed a whale could win office in the Ananias club. The punchline cites Australia appointing a woman to the bench and mocks the St. Louis Cardinals.
An invited American guest collapsed in King George's garden and broke his leg, an event noted as improper under court etiquette. A German savant has devised a hoof and mouth disease serum, but it cannot restrain impulsive candidates.
Dr. David Allyn Gordon aged 80 of Brooklyn has welcomed twins who are doing well. Notes that Doc Osler's views have not yet been obtained.
A course in scientific baby wash ng is now offered at a New York school. Authorities suggest expanding it to include boys under 14 years old.
An American was arrested in London after throwing money into the streets. Reportedly the Hotel Employers union in London wields influence with authorities aiding the arrest.
Planners announce a coroner gathering in Pennsylvania, stirring concern among residents that the event aims to boost local commerce rather than address genuine public health concerns.
A Missouri thinker declares poetry a disease claiming some poems look sick and harmful. The remark provokes discussion on the influence and value of poetry amid evolving cultural tastes.
A New York jurist holds that playing poker in one’s own home is not a crime though a spouse may view the loss as a scandal, reflecting social attitudes toward gambling and domestic life.
Tom Edison predicts cinema will reach every household soon and become ordinary. He notes that as moving pictures lose novelty, youths will still seek reasons to stay out late.
In New York a judge rules that a delinquent husband retains rights despite a wife seeking weekly alimony of 25 dollars from a ten-dollar weekly spouse. The decision emphasizes due process and the husband’s civil procedural protections.
Centerville orders a special election to grant a Southern Iowa Traction franchise extending tracks to the public square and building a power plant to power interurban cars. Dr J L Sawyers and W A Boland back the venture which aims to create an Albia Centerville service and a Chariton river park four miles north. An option on 28 acres supports the project.
Perry young aviator Ralph McMillan has recovered enough to leave the hospital after sustaining severe injuries from a fall weeks ago. He suffered two broken legs, a head wound, three broken ribs, a broken arm bone, and other injuries. He plans to resume aviation work once casts are removed.
Ft Dodge plant of Corn Belt Packing company leased by Ft Dodge Sulzberger Sons with option to buy set at 75000 dollars. Operations begin July 1 loading 2000 hogs weekly in summer and 3000 weekly in winter.
Perry blacksmith J. A. Graham vanished from home last Saturday and was traced to Des Moines. He was seen at Adel taking a train toward Redfield, with reports suggesting he appeared mentally unbalanced. At Redfield no further trace was found.
Boone resident John Redenbaugh lies in critical condition after a farmer’s picnic disturbance in Boxholm. J. McLean of Waterloo struck Redenbaugh with a rifle, causing serious injuries. The assailant was arrested and imprisoned.
Caroline Cannon files for divorce from Eli N. Cannon in Mason City alleging desertion while he serves a Fort Leavenworth sentence. She cites his self representation in possession of between 3000 and 4000 dollars as grounds for dissolution.
Several farmers report daylight chicken thefts from yards while absent from home. Two thieves seen by multiple witnesses travel in an automobile with a large chicken coop fastened behind it.
Kellogg plans a six day Chautauqua from June 29 with daily two programs. Featured speakers include Prof. G. E. Weaver the chalk talker Hon. Chas J. Hall Dr. W. H. Bickers and Evangelist W. S. Johnson.
Masons from several central Iowa counties gathered in Marshalltown for a St John day picnic at the soldiers home. Over 1000 fraternity members attended the event.
Five year old Stanley Hadray drowned while swimming in the Cedar River with other children in Cedar Rapids. The drowning marks the season's first in the area.
Dedicatory exercises for a new 25000 dollar church of the Swedish Evangelical Lutherans were held in Dayton. The young people's society raised five thousand dollars for a pipe organ noted as especially fine.
Newton Mose Stalks of Fuyingisle was badly burned at Fearsboro when a friend gave him a loaded cigar causing a powder explosion that severely burned his right eye.
Police in Iowa City confirm the drowned man known as Frank O Brien was actually Bert Orton, a wanderer with a history of criminal activity, identified after weeks of investigation.
Roland A Britson begins excavation of basements for three concrete store rooms planned within two months.
Two attempts to wreck the Jack Hills Chicago express No 8 on the Chicago Milwaukee and St Paul line triggered strict patrols eight miles out. Section men found a large pile of angle bars and iron near a curve just before the train arrived. The next day a similar attempt used the same material at a point several rods distant.
Ten farmers owning about a section and a half of land have filed a petition to be set off from Mason City arguing they receive no city benefits and the land is not needed for sewer extension residence lots or police protection.
Charles City report states Ray Angell aged 22 may lose sight after lighting a match to check a gas water heater. The cellar filled with gas exploded, burning his eyes and damaging windows, pipes and the heater door.
Atlantic will host the southwestern Town firemen's tournament on July 3 and 4 with purses totaling 1500 distributed among event winners. Both volunteer and paid departments will compete in the celebration.
In Sioux City M O Nickelson surrendered to the sheriff after shooting Henry Sapp three times with a revolver. Authorities reported the wound probably fatal. Both men refused to discuss the motive or details of the incident.
Four of five managers in the Iowa State league have voted to hire traveling umpires for the league. A decision is expected this week from President Conway of Mason City. Currently each team provides an umpire for its home games.
Fort Dodge reports the shortest federal court session on record. Judge Henry T. Reed of Cresco adjourned the term after brief arguments on retrials and demurrers. The grand jury returned twelve true bills for bootleggers and other offenders.
Marshalltown Iowa report that James M Bybee age 91 of Brighton died this morning at the soldiers home after a long life. He served in the Twelfth United States Infantry enlisting in 1847 and was one of the last Mexican war veterans.
The Roland Farmers' Creamery burned Saturday but the town's new waterworks system prevented total loss. Fire crews battled the blaze as residents watched. No injuries reported and investigation to determine cause underway.
Cedar Rapids hosts the sixth annual Iowa Association of Fire Insurance Agents convention with around one hundred attendees. President Weir of Davenport vehemently condemns the Blanchard law.
John Bohlan, arrested in connection with the Villisca murders, was released after establishing an alibi covering June 7 to 11. The suspect was detained at St. Joseph prior to release.
John F. Golden of Creston, business manager for the Cres ton American, has been selected as reading clerk for the Democratic national convention in Baltimore.
An unidentified man died after being struck by a Milwaukee train at Lost Nation on Sunday. The victim’s hat bore the initials K. G. H. and his clothing was bought in Davenport.
Henry County normal closed after a two weeks session with the greatest attendance in its history. Two hundred ninety one teachers of the county were registered.
A son of Albert Peck living between town and Riverside was shot by his older brother in an accident described as not realizing the gun was loaded. The victim may die from his wounds.
A large project around Clear Lake contemplates a new channel between the island and the point. The cut will allow passage for the larger boats, enhancing navigation and access.
An unknown man about 50 years old killed himself in a room above Gould's case in Sibley. He left a note asking that G. M. Gilman of Manchester Iowa be notified.
Oyster Bay New York June 28 Colonel Roosevelt declares he will stay in the campaign to the end fighting what he calls big sinister influences bent on eliminating him. He met with Comptroller Prendergast who urged a definite pledge not to withdraw.
The Zeppelin Victoria Luise traveled from Hamburg to the North Sea with twelve passengers aboard in a nine hour oversea flight.
London June 29 guests arrived by aero plane for the wedding of aviator Claude Grahame-White and Dorothy Taylor daughter of Mr and Mrs Bertram Taylor of New York. The ceremony highlighted by aviation transport reflects the couple’s era and social circle.
Elwood Indiana June 28 Frank Hoover the noted German aviator was seriously injured when his biplane crashed through a stable wall at the start of a flight Wednesday.
A Geneva observance began Wednesday marking the 200th anniversary of philosopher Jean Jacques Rousseau born June 28, 1712. The event unfolds in the city of Rousseau where scholars and residents gathered to pay homage to his legacy.
Washington June 26 Gompers Morrison and Mitchell AFL leaders were found guilty of contempt of court in the Bucks Stove and Range boycott case. They received one year nine months and six months respectively and may appeal to the US Supreme Court. Justice Wright announced the ruling after a two hour reading of seventy two typewritten pages.
A new St Boniface seminary near the St Boniface college was burned on Thursday in Winnipeg Manitoba. The loss is estimated at 100000 dollars and authorities say the fire was incendiary.
Judge W H Sanborn will begin hearing testimony in the government proceedings for the dissolution of the International Harvester company on September 16. The suit was filed in late April and defendants must file their answer by August 1.
Fairbanks Alaska June 29 News arrived of a new gold strike in Fox Gulch in the Imnoke district. Hundreds of prospectors rush to the new digging from Iditarod.
The U S transport Sheridan carrying four companies of troops for St Michael and Fort Davis remains trapped in ice flowing toward the Arctic Ocean near Nome Alaska on June 29.
Former United States Senator Anthony Higgins of Delaware died at his brother’s home in New York City after a period of illness. He had served in the Senate and was a prominent political figure. Higgins passed away Wednesday at 27 Washington Square.
Atlanta on June 28 reports the Georgia legislature began its annual fifty day session. The Tippings bill to prohibit the sale of near beer stands as the most important legislative item before lawmakers.
New York June 29 Justice Keogh halted the habeas corpus hearing for Harry K Thaw in White Plains after reportedly withdrawing from the case He was said to retire due to a newly discovered personal interest connected to his marriage to A Russell Peabody former Thaw counsel and concerns over misapplied funds involving Hartridge The judge spent the day in conferences with Deputy Attorney General Jerome and Thaws counsel Clarence J Shearn
President Taft expressed his favor for Charles Dewey Hilles as chairman of the Republican national committee. Hilles will cease to be secretary, with formal appointment as chair on July 8 after a meeting of a nine member subcommittee to discuss campaign plans.
James Darby a well known golfer died saving a nine year old caddy who fell into deep water while trying to fetch a golf ball in the pond at the sinks. The boy was saved by Darby and dragged to a log. Darby began to swim ashore but cramped and sank. companions tried to reach him but failed.
A detachment of black insurgents trying to blow the Clabaza bridge on the Cuban railroad was surprised and pushed back with ten men killed. General Estonez failed to unite with Ivonez as federal forces reportedly interposed between the rival bands.
Pittsburg June 27 labor famine in the district is so acute that prisons are raided by large industrial concerns racing to meet orders in thirty to ninety day windows. The rush for finished material has not been equaled since the panic days of 1907.
J Rodman Law made a parachute jump from a Wright biplane at Hempstead Kentucky dropping 3000 feet. The aircraft was owned and operated by Harold Brown of Boston.
The Boston Evening Traveler, among the state’s oldest newspapers, will be sold to the Boston Herald. The announcement came Wednesday from J. W. Farley, publisher of the Herald.
In Mechanicsville Connecticut 550 workers at the French River Textile company ended their strike on Thursday and most plan to return to work immediately.
Baron Paterno was sentenced in Rome to life imprisonment with ten years of solitary confinement for the murder of Countess Trigona, the queen’s lady in waiting.
Washington warns on June 27 that more than 20000 naval yard employees could be laid off July 1 unless Congress authorizes wage payments. The potential shutdown affects the United States navy yard workforce nationwide.
East Las Vegas New Mexico residents welcomed the governor’s decision not to intervene in the Flynn Johnson fight. The ruling came amid local enthusiasm following the prior week’s developments.
Clarence Darrow faces fresh accusations from a witness who claimed Darrow offered a bribe to learn who tipped off the McNamara defense. The day included defense wins when a reporter’s notes could not be deciphered, and threats flared between attorney Rogers and detective Biddinger during court adjournment.
President Taft sent to Congress a report from the economy and efficiency commission. He notes 100 investigations by Congress on executive matters and urges adoption of a budget system and prompt salaries for government employees pending appropriation bills.
Washington reports that better conditions in Cuba caused the war department to cancel plans for sending about 15,000 troops. The four large army transports at Newport News were ordered out of commission.
Capt. A. H. Rostron of the Carpathia received thanks from Liverpool and a gold medal for rescuing Titanic survivors. The award ceremony took place on a Wednesday in Liverpool.
Washington June 28 William Marshall Bullitt of Louisville Ky is said to be under consideration by President Jaft as a successor to Solicitor General Lehmann who has resigned.
John Barth of Waterloo bled to death after a minor face cut received in a fall during play. He had been watched for 12 years to prevent self harm. The incident occurred in Hammond, Indiana, on Tuesday.
China rejected the $300 million loan offered by the six power group, likely due to a condition requiring foreign supervision of expenditures. Washington reports the move occurred last Tuesday and involves the large international finance proposal amid ongoing diplomacy.
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