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Newspaper
Monticello Express
Location
Monticello, Iowa, United States of America
Date
Jan 31, 1901
Page
4
A Lewiston Journal note describes red codfish flocking to lobster retreats as crustaceans shed their shells. Codfish strike with swift tail blows, disable weak lobsters, and feed on them while a London anecdote recalls Justice William O'Brien’s milk misadventure.
A humorous tale from Pall Mall Gazette recounts a naval purchase aboard a ship. The officer and the bo's'n inspect carcasses for beef on hoof. The bo's'n tests the bullock by its shanks and quips that they only ever get those parts.
A Galway judge jokes with an associate about an Antrim barrister’s nasal Irish accent. Gaslight notes claim gems glow brighter under artificial light, with emeralds, sapphires, and alexandrite shown to shift color by candle or gaslight.
English Customer questions class by noting an American couple drank only water at dinner. Signor Maraschino replies that they pay the same as others who drink champagne, underscoring social economics and etiquette in a witty Punch joke set in London.
Dr Johnson recalls meeting a village postman on a hot afternoon who still had a mile to walk to deliver a single newspaper. He exclaims he would not traverse that distance for a trifling delivery and questions sending it by post.
The Chicago Milwaukee and St Paul Railway offers excursion tickets to New Orleans and Mobile at 29.10 for round trip. Tickets on sale Feb 11 through 17 with return by March 7. Also an unrelated residence for sale in Monticello by G H Grover offering well located property in excellent repair.
The Jones County Teachers Association meets in Wyoming on the first Saturday in February. J H Abel presides with Louie Mitchell as secretary. The program includes morning sessions on geography physiology and reading plus afternoon items on grammar division diagrams and library care featuring speakers like Miss Fogel Supt A Palmer and Mrs B Tourtellot.
The notice promotes the Pan American Exposition near Niagara Falls Buffalo from May to November 1901. It highlights Nickel Plate Road service Chicago to Buffalo and New York with modern trains, dining cars, and club meals. It urges obtaining excursion details and hotel/rooming arrangements through nickel Plate agents and agents of Chicago Milwaukee St. Paul Railway.
A club offer combines The Iowa Homestead The Poultry Farmer and Special Farmers Institute Editions with our own paper for a full year at 2.20 dollars. The package is praised as superior reading for farmers and limited to a short time. Samples are available at the office for review.
A commentary piece titled A Merry Chase argues that the United States asserts broad global reach and influence. The author examines assumptions about American power and its implications for foreign policy and international relations.
Farms of various sizes in the best part of Iowa offered at 45 to 60 dollars per acre. Superior land values cited by H. M. Troy of Cedar Rapids Iowa.
The Chicago, Milwaukee and St Paul Railway offers round trip fare to St Paul with sale dates February 18 and 19 and return validity to February 25. Also bundles Express and Chicago Weekly Inter Ocean for $2.00 for advance subscribers.
The list records multiple state cases with defendants such as Grant Rhinehart Wm Conelly Frank Fouseck and Geo Williams along with various witnesses and constables. The document names which judges like J P Rhinehart and H Arnold sheriff oversee dockets and notes small monetary fines and court actions.
A marketing pitch touts Electric Bitters as a quick cure for back and nerve troubles and related ailments. It cites Mrs. Phebe Cherley of Peterson Ta who reports kidney relief and renewed ability for housework at age 73. Includes a claim about General Russell A Alger and a Detroit charity effort with 400 bank accounts for newsboys.
A historic promotion claims Dr King's New Discovery cures coughs colds and lung diseases at home with the first dose relief. It offers trial bottles free at drugstores and prices 50c and 1.00. The note mentions Charles W. Otto completing fifty years of continuous service at the National Bank of Germantown Pa.
An assortment of medical notices touts Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets with a money back guarantee and Kodol Dyspepsia Cure as remedies. It mentions Cap t. 8.8. Brown's $500 donation to Confederate veterans entertainment in Memphis and warns against counterfeit DeWitt's Witch Hazel Salve. A joke from Leslie's Weekly closes the piece.
A patent remedy called Kodol Dyspepsia Cure is claimed to digest all classes of food and relieve indigestion instantly. A university endowment drive seeks 100000 dollars for a chair of economics at Washington and Lee University in memory of William N. Wilson. DeWitt’s Witch Hazel Salve marketed as the best antiseptic and healing ointment for piles, sores, eczema, and skin diseases. Beware of imitations.
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