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Newspaper
Monticello Express
Location
Monticello, Iowa, United States of America
Date
Jan 25, 1906
Page
3
An excerpt from Scrambled Oil features Humpty and Mister Lawson planning schemes against powerful financial figures. A Boston bulldog named Thomas Wollop’em Law son and a quirky cast maneuver through threatening high finance rhetoric, with ominous undercover activity hinted at and a cliffhanger ending.
A Philadelphia Press quotation shows a troubled man saying some dogs cannot tell day from night, while Kwater notes every dog has a day. The brief exchange contrasts perception and timing with a wry comment on difficulty recognizing time.
A quirky exchange notes a dealer making jokes as his living. The line reveals humor as the business, with a playful nod to the craft of joke writing.
The speaker reports a terse exchange with the Boss who commends the job and hints at trying a new Upper Cut. A stranger outside directs access to an elevator while the narrator notes fishing is bad and the goat won't eat the Paper, adding a murky Western tone.
Boston traveler J P Dickens recalls a North Carolina mountain stop where a farmer's wife offered hospitality and dinner. A 12 year old boy demanded a knife for the stranger and criticized his fork for eating greens, highlighting manners during meals in the encounter.
Historian Francis Bayliss, returning from a Thanksgiving meeting, tells Bristol bar member Nicholas Tillinghast at Wood’s Hotel of depositing a ten cent piece into a contribution box to be placed on interest until he reaches heaven. Tillinghast quips that it will amount to a very large sum.
Quote from Houston Post ridicules scientists claiming a voracious money worm exists. The remark mocks the idea by joking that their wives would be offended if called worms.
A humorous exchange quoted by the Houston Post asks how to respond to a wife who notes another woman’s beauty. The remark pivots on a joke about the other woman’s nose.
The St. Louis Globe-Democrat quips that diplomacy is seen today as mere horse trading, noting a shift from awe to pragmatic bargaining in international relations. The remark frames diplomats as shrewd negotiators rather than idealists in modern times.
A Berlin physician performs two nasal correction procedures using internal surgery with local anesthesia. The nose shows no trace or mark of the operation afterward.
A 1905 essay by Margaret E Sangster urges girls to aid mothers and fathers, balance school with home duties, and value family obligations. It cites stories of selfless workers, warns against selfish focus on fashion, and stresses planning, punctuality, and keeping books and clothes orderly. It warns about overpromising church or extra duties and urges harmony between home and school responsibilities.
The late Elisha Owens of Welloquin Neck in Wicomico county recalled a tale of a silent wife. He framed a ruse by sending a doctor to declare her speechless for three days. The doctor charged five dollars, and the punch line was Owens's wiser investment of that money.
The author argues sun light rather than heat has health effects and promotes white or yellow clothing to prevent sun stroke. He cites experiments with white and black cloth on grass, outlines color heat absorption, and notes yellow lining and orange cloth protect the brain and skin. He also links yellow envelopes to photographic light protection and promises more on color and sunshine.
The piece reflects on personal resolve and the disparity between noble ideals and everyday obligations. It contrasts imagined bravery with the plain duty that tests a person, warning that neglecting small responsibilities diminishes inner resolve and purpose.
A Boston Globe piece argues privilege fuels corruption in politics and business. It warns that power tends to corrupt human nature, with the privileged party blinded by wealth and status, while the unprivileged cannot grasp reform.
Gov. Idwin Warfield of Maryland scoffs at the 13 superstition. He is the thirteenth governor to hold the Annapolis mansion, elected by a 15,000 vote majority and inaugurated January 18, 1904. No notable fears have arisen in his political career regarding the superstition.
Clarence Rook humorously surveys cab etiquette in cities worldwide. He notes New York cabmen rely on millionaires or fools for fares while Moscow requires bargaining and Berlin uses taximeters with fixed tariffs. Munich ends bargaining with a strict taxameter, cabs ticking up pfennigs as riders watch.
An actress modeled a publicity stunt by spending 23 days inside a glass cage on the Prater drinking only mineral water from 60 bottles. She studied a new part during the confinement and after release ate a hearty meal of fish veal and beer ending with schnapps.
A tramp asks a lady at a back door for sewing help and proposes sewing a pair of pants onto a button. The conversation unfolds with the lady agreeing to assist. The scene appears in the San Francisco Chronicle.
Cardiff unveils a municipal telescope donated by the late Dr. Franklin Evans. The fine 6 inch equatorial reflector is dedicated for public use, with city council covering disposal costs and an observatory placed outside the city for amateur astronomers.
When Eli Menebhi, once chief minister to the sultan of Morocco, toured London he marveled at Parliament houses and learned about 600 wise men meeting there. He doubted their effectiveness, saying his master settles everything himself.
A 1906 overview compares ancient riches with modern fortunes. It cites John D. Rockefeller as the era’s pinnacle, noting New York and national totals of millionaires, and explaining the incomprehensible scale of a thousand million dollars in gold if converted and moved.
A Chicago drummer arrested for assault faced a single local lawyer who had not been hired. The justice of the peace improvised, appointing Jim Peters, a farmhand, as counsel. In ten minutes Jim tangled the case, the judge dismissed the trial, and warned that Jim’s rise may threaten future court norms.
In Dead Earnest a traveling man receives a telegram noting twins arrived and more by mail. He replies that he will head home that night and asks that any further arrivals be sent to the dead letter office, a quip published in Lippincott's Magazine.
A short Life column item presents a humorous quarrel where a parent vows to disown a child with a shilling as the severance, and the son lightheartedly asks for the money now. The exchange captures a domestic gag reflecting social norms and wry wit of the era.
A man sought for the Taft manager post must have a large acquaintance. The applicant boasts knowing the secretary of war, Mr Tafti Judge.
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