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Newspaper
Monticello Express
Location
Monticello, Iowa, United States of America
Date
Jan 23, 1913
Page
6
A collection of satirical vignettes on modern life including delayed projects, poison myths, language reach, crime brevity, gun questions, quirky court fines, Sun Yat Sen loans, culinary pay scales, marriages, Burns razors, and dental judgments.
A titled Englishwoman has opened a school to teach wives how to spend money. The piece notes suffragettes and complains that England remains in a deplorably backward state.
In Springfield Ohio a group of society girls were confined in a padded cell during an initiation. They were released in a hysterical condition after the stunt described as cheerful tactics.
A Harvard professor asserts that angle worms think and argue that if true, worms would infer all men are Hiars based on the fishermen they encounter. The remark links worm intelligence to human social biases and stereotypes.
A Chicago man was arrested after taking a mule into two cafes and attempting to buy it a drink. The piece notes that if the act had occurred in Newport, he might have been elevated to a society leader.
King Alfonso pursues aviation studies under an English instructor. Advisors, seeking calm for the cabinet, may push for a theory only course rather than practical flying lessons.
A Macon judge rules a man may have a few snifters before wedding. The decision notes courage is required and questions whether such a bracer is absolutely necessary.
Western university authorities challenge rural stereotypes by asserting farm boys are not as physically capable as city boys, undermining the popular cry of "Back to the farm" and highlighting a shift in perceptions of rural-urban vigor.
An eighty year old man described as a gay old Lothario faced a breach of promise judgment of 5614 dollars and 80 cents after addressing his partner as my fawn. He is linked to a flirtatious persona and sings an old tune about never loving a dear gazelle.
Baltimore officials report success with using blind telephone operators, noting that as long as workers are not deaf, the program faces little complaint and shows strong results.
A critic contends that married men think less than bachelors. He suggests bachelors must do much rapid thinking to stay single, implying married life reduces mental alertness.
A Red Wing man walked six miles in his sleep and ended his nap in the woods as temperatures sank below zero. Local Minnesota hunters nearly shot him mistaken for a deer, underscoring the odd winter misadventure.
In Birmingham England boxers intervened to save a referee from rough handling by frenzied fans. The incident highlights a clash between European fight crowds and officials amid rising tensions at the event.
A Chicago woman robbed a man then cleaned him up and returned a quarter for car fare. The tale closes with a wry question about whether she could have been married. The item presents a sharp, offbeat anecdote in a compact social note.
An advocate argues that a single cook overwhelms a family’s capacity to manage meals and sustain a steady routine, highlighting the strain of constant kitchen labor. The remark underscores the need for broader support and shared cooking duties within households.
A Florida aeronaut plunged from a great height into a cemetery. Some residents question fate amid the disturbing accident and its aftermath.
An official offers reasons for why girls do not marry, noting social and economic factors. The statement follows a critique of male behavior observed by the authority. It emphasizes cultural expectations and the impact on marriage rates.
An SF aviator abruptly decides to visit home and soars to Gilroy in 90 minutes covering about 80 miles. The quick flight marks a swift and surprising crossing back to his roots.
A Harvard professor reports angleworms show a preference for dark holes over lighted spaces in a controlled experiment. The subject worm is claimed to be a direct descendant of an earlier worm associated with a widely discussed early bird event.
Fort Dodge, Des Moines and Southern plans a 100000 dollar upgrade adding a 5000 horsepower turbine and two extra hundred freight cars. The electric fleet will haul 1300 ton capacity cars, extending service for plaster mills and stucco plants while sustaining regional power supply.
The Smith sisters land in Delaware county will be sold at a referee sale and the proceeds divided among the owners. The property includes the 400 acre home farm west of Hopkinton and the Milroy farm, managed by the sisters for years with little help.
Mrs. Orilla Nutting wife of Northwestern railroad conductor Ralph E. Nutting suffered serious burns when her clothing ignited from gasoline used to clean a skirt. Nutting had recently recovered from injuries from a train wreck.
Mrs. L. G. Everists, wife of a prominent coal dealer with mines near Des Moines, was badly burned while dressing at her daughter’s home when her clothing caught fire from an open gas grate. Doctors say she will die.
Charles Caesar, a bartender, fatally wounded W. L. Linder, a 62 year old retired clothing merchant, in Burlington. Caesar then shot himself in his room as police arrived, dying at the scene.
Attorney General George Cosson and Assistant AG John Fletcher prosecuted in Harlan an ouster suit against Mayor W. L. Baughn. He is charged with appearing intoxicated on city streets.
County assessors gathered at the court house for the annual meeting and raised Henry county land values ten percent above 1912 for the 1913 assessment. A complete new standard of values was fixed.
The Hampton poultry house set a record by handling about 900000 pounds of live poultry in the last two months of the year, paying out nearly 100000 dollars in that period.
Clarion Iowa. Aged lowan C O Sheplee, 86, longtime resident of this city since 1883, died after a long illness. He was survived by a widow, three sons, eleven grandchildren and three great grandchildren.
Webster City attorney Wesley Martin resigns as superintendent of the Baptist Sunday school after twenty three years of continuous service marking the end of a long era in local religious work.
James Wilson Sr. father of State Senator J M Wilson died in Centerville from pneumonia. He was formerly a prominent coal operator.
Two new lawsuits target the city of Creston over sewage entering a stream on land owned by T. W. Carpenter of Des Moines. He seeks $500 damages plus costs for alleged dangerous effluent polluting his property.
Eldora post office officials will attempt to secure a free delivery system as the business last year totaled more than the required 10000 dollars.
Isaac A. Mick aged 75 a veteran of the Civil War and a well known auctioneer of land stock and general sales across five Marion county border counties died of pneumonia.
The charred body of hermit Jacob Anderson was found in the ruins of his cabin on the Spurr farm near Ellendale near the state line. He lived alone in a hut and perished when his shelter burned.
Iowa Democrats plan a special Chicago to Washington train for President elect Wilson’s inauguration. Negotiations with Pennsylvania Railroad secure three cars in Des Moines for about 200 party leaders. The service mirrors the Iowa delegation trip to Baltimore last July as many Iowans attend the ceremony to honor the party’s recent statewide plurality.
The Commercial club plans to work with railroads entering the city to improve roads near Iowa Falls. It aims to adopt Milwaukee line practices for hauling crushed rock to distribution points for highway surfacing. Two large crushers and ample raw material enable road improvements.
The new Methodist pastor Rev. James A. Glendinning, arrives from Ainsworth where a $17,000 church was dedicated on Sunday January 5. He succeeds Rev. Joe R. Hanley who resigned to pursue evangelistic work. Glendinning’s church has about 700 members.
Members of the dairy associations met in Des Moines last week and outlined plans for the coming year. They will seek another appropriation from the legislature. Attendees included Prof. C. F. Curtis of Iowa State College and W. H. Pew of Ames.
W. B. Higgason sues Dr. C. W. Powell for alleged unsatisfactory surgical work seeking $25,000 in damages. Co-defendants include Drs. Creshire and Nichols of Marshalltown.
Adolph Shegetka a young farmer living with his father Joseph Shegetka near Oxford Iowa killed himself with a revolver in an old barn close to his home. A farmer found the body later while going to feed stock.
Work has begun on the Charles City gas engine factory and the Milwaukee station with large labor crews. Contractors say continued good weather will speed progress. the buildings will be ornaments to the city.
Ida Grove High School defeated Whiting High School by unanimous judges in a debate held in Ida Grove. The issue debated was whether the United States should adopt a system of ship subsidies.
Davenport hosts the state convention of the Town Funeral Directors association from May 20 to 22. President C. E H. Gregoire of Dubuque presided at the executive committee meeting.
Two local stores in Carroll were burglarized. Carroll Nickels and Son's clothing and Menstart's shoe store reported thefts of two suits of clothes and an overcoat plus $8.15 in cash from the registers. No injuries reported.
In the district court Sidney Donald Cox was found guilty of statutory assault. The maximum penalty for this crime is twenty years.
Bids for a $25,000 brick high school building to be constructed this spring will be received until January 30 by President George Swain. Plumbing and heating contracts will be let separately.
The Mason City District Dental Society schedules a January 16 meeting in New Hampton. Dr. J. P. Buckley of Chicago will speak and conduct a clinic for attendees.
William Jennings Dwight aged 16 was arrested at Dean forty five miles south of Ottumwa for robbing the Dean post office. He has returned 150 dollars in cash taken from the office.
Sprague aged 83 was found dead in his Sac City home by neighbors. Death attributed to old age. Survived by five children.
Sioux City reports Woodbury county township assessors voted to raise farm land valuations by 1742 percent above the level fixed two years ago by the board of supervisors. Action aligns with state executive council policy.
S J Key sold a 240 acre farm near Lenox to Fred Hofer of Sloan for 200 dollars per acre. The property is described as one of the best improved farms in Taylor county.
President elect Woodrow Wilson addressed a Chicago Commercial Club banquet urging business leaders to place public welfare above private gain. He outlined four aims including fair resource use, equal access to raw materials and credit, removal of monopolies, and a crackdown on the money trust.
Festus J. Wade of St. Louis urged the central bank feature of the Aldrich plan before the House banking committee. Chairman Glass warned that Baltimore platform opposition exists. The session also probed the Waltham Watch company with details of capitalization assets and patents.
Phoenix January 15 A bitter attack on the Democratic policy of tariff reduction as applied to dressed meats and cattle on the hoof will be launched at the sixteenth annual convention of the American Live Stock association in this city. Cattlemen vow to oppose any move to place meat on the free list, calling it harmful to a great industry.
Albany Jan 17 the New York State legislature went on record in favor of a federal amendment to allow United States senators to be elected by the people.
Chief Justice Hall of the Connecticut Supreme Court collapsed and died while seated with fellow justices at a dinner in the Hueblin hotel in Hartford on a Wednesday. The widely known jurist had been serving on the court and died suddenly during the occasion.
A French physicist has devised an improved photo-telegraphic apparatus that can transmit photographs and drawings over telephone wires in four minutes. This breakthrough promises rapid remote imaging and could revolutionize long distance visual communication.
Wireless between Sayville Long Island and Neuen Germany covered 3 500 miles with only a few words exchanged.
Washington January 16. Robert W. Archbald of the commerce court was found guilty on five of thirteen impeachment counts by the United States senate. The senate then removed him from office and barred him from any future government position. Only five senators supported him on the first count.
Woodrow Wilson was formally chosen president with electors meeting in 40 states. Roosevelt led in five states while Taft held eight votes from Vermont and Utah. California split its vote between Wilson and Roosevelt. The tally stood Wilson 435, Roosevelt 88, Taft 8. Butler received Utah’s eight votes for vice president.Margaret Zane Witcher was chosen to deliver Utah’s returns to Washington. Returns will be canvassed February 12 in a joint session.
Rapid Ohio river rise forces nearly 300 Oakdale families from homes in Evansville area. City tug evacuates four people as refugees seek shelter in Evansville and other river towns. Rockport reports all hotels full amid ongoing displacement.
London reports two British airmen L F MacDonald and Inglish drowned when their craft plunged into the Thames on Monday. The machine struck water, the engine exploded on impact, and one airman clung briefly to the wreck before sinking.
In Lansing William Alden Smith was reelected by party vote. Boise reappointed W H Borah. Denver elected John F Shafroth and Charles S Thomas. Helena chose Thomas Walsh by unanimous vote. Boston ratified John W Meeks for the senate by joint ballot.
Leroy Higgins, eleven, shot and killed his mother in their home bedroom at Monaca near Pittsburg after being refused five cents to buy candy. Lawmen report the boy acted in anger over the denial.
One American was killed in an attack by rebels on El Potrero near Paso del Macho Vera Cruz. The assault lasted more than an hour at the American owned hacienda on Monday.
The Cunard liner Caronia arrived from Liverpool minus a lifeboat weighing about two and a half tons blown away during gales encountered at sea.
The Shirtwalist and Dressmakers' union with about 30,000 members in New York voted nearly unanimously to join the garment workers' strike on Monday, pushing the total strikers to about 160,000.
Chicago January 17. Federal Judge Carpenter freed the boxer known as Jack Johnson. He warned that if Johnson again leaves the court’s jurisdiction while under a thirty thousand dollar bond the amount would be forfeited.
Enid Oklahoma January 17 J A Raiders sixty years old of Greenville Kentucky collapsed and died on Wednesday upon seeing his son who had left home years earlier and whom he had been seeking.
Washington January 16 the house passed the post office appropriation bill totaling about 278 million dollars. The Cullop amendment to place fourth class postmasters under civil service was defeated.
Harry Thurston Peck, former Latin professor at Columbia University, filed a bankruptcy petition in New York on Tuesday following details of a romantic affair with Esther Quinn aired in the courts.
Dr. Charles Richardson reported to the Pujo committee that William Rockefeller is seriously ill in Miami Florida. The examination will be private with the chairman and Samuel Untermyer, and may be oral only to avoid risk to his life.
The American Sugar Refining company pressed for a reduced sugar tariff at a Ways and Means Committee hearing on Wednesday. Edwin F Atkins argued that keeping a small differential duty and current color standard is essential to defend Louisiana and beet sugar industries and avoid collapsing prices.
The cruiser Denver sailed from San Diego to Acapulco, Mexico, with 270 sailors and a marine detachment to protect Americans amid reports of a rebel band led by Julio Robillo. The move follows alarming reports received through Ambassador Wilson at Mexico City.
Three men were killed at the Crescent coal mine six miles west of Peoria as they prepared to blast. All victims were shot firers. An explosion tore through the mine on Wednesday in Peoria, Illinois.
In a joint session at Augusta on January 17 1911 the Maine legislature elected Congressman F C Burleigh as United States senator. The Taft Republican candidate received 91 votes to 82 for Democrat Gardner and 1 for Progressive Thompson.
Locke Craig of Asheville was inaugurated as governor of North Carolina. His address stressed constructive legislation with the tax question as the main feature.
Abbeville La Jan 14 Mrs Audrey Lassen wife of a local carpenter gave birth to five male children all perfectly formed. Two were dead at birth but the others lived briefly.
Detectives guarded the home of Sir Richard McBride in Victoria BC on Sunday after he received an anonymous letter warning of a plot to blow up the premier. The incident prompted security measures as authorities investigated the threat.
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