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Monticello Express in Monticello, Iowa

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Newspaper

Monticello Express

Location

Monticello, Iowa, United States of America

Date

Jan 21, 1909

Page

1

Satirical collection of quips on society and events

The piece surveys diverse topics from subsidies and prices to inventions and personalities. It notes France, England, and American figures, including Roosevelt and Rockefeller, with jests about eye-glasses, Mars water, and marriage age. It echoes a Detroit Free Press roundup style of witty vignettes.

Majesty and Prince Vied for Crowns and Cars

King Edward is described at 210 pounds while Britain’s younger prince is noted as puny. Two Connecticut chauffeurs remain in prison as the public grows weary of drivers running down people alighting from street cars.

Edward Britain Connecticut

Pennsylvania Man Sues Neighbor Over Alleged Affairs

A Pennsylvania husband files suit claiming his 65 year old wife was alienated by a 69 year old neighbor. The case highlights a clash of ages and romantic entanglements in a domestic dispute context.

Pennsylvania

Just a suggestion for China’s baby emperor throne safety

A voice argues that the infant emperor of China should be strapped to the throne to prevent dangerous tumbles. The remark frames possible serious consequences if the child falls, reflecting concern in a satirical tone.

China

Freighter Strikes Iceberg. Polar Bear Falls From Deck

A New York bound ocean freighter reportedly struck an iceberg with such force that a live polar bear on the ice was knocked from the deck by the impact. The tale reflects the era of daring but sensational sea adventures.

New York Tate Ocean Adventure

Alligator Baby Survives Eagle Theft in Midair

A baby alligator was allegedly snatched by an eagle but escaped when the eagle carried it off. The incident prompted a cautious reaction from supporters of American freedom who faced criticism over their venture.

American Freedom Goon

Earliest Earth Man Skull Found in France

A skull found in France is identified as belonging to the earliest period of the earth. The text notes that the men of that time could not have laughed according to the era's law, suggesting life in the glacial period may have been serious.

France

Two-cent Husband Prompted Householder Critique

A Baltimore woman described her husband as allowing only two cents a day to run the house. This claim reveals his character and challenges the notion of being a two-cent male, highlighting public sentiment on such treatment.

Baltimore

Prohibitionist and Socialist Candidates Win Districts

Socialistic candidates won in 162 districts while Prohibitionists carried 152. In the north and west the south contributed only four candidates, two Prohibitionists and two Socialists, to the total.

Congress

Wait for the Days to Grow Longer

A short reflective note urges patience as days lengthen with the seasons, inviting readers to observe changing daylight and the passage of time.

English bill aims to ban substitutes for hops

Parliament considers a bill to prohibit any substitute for hops, framed as a protective measure for British hop growers facing foreign competition. The move reflects a growing protectionist sentiment in the country as beer purity is highly valued.

England

Indian Mines Provide Jobs to 152,000 Workers

The mining industry remains in its infancy but currently employs 152,000 people in India across various mines. The figure underscores early sector growth and employment impact.

Mines of India

Wrights innovator claims safety device for airship landings

One Wright of aeroplane fame claims a safety device to assure equilibrium and safe landings of airships when anything gives way. The invention addresses the danger of smashups which has hindered practical aviation and, if confirmed, marks a significant advance toward aerial navigation.

Wrights Aeroplane Wright

Hains Set Free After Murder Trial Verdict

Thornton Jenkins Hains and his brother Capt. Peter C. Hains Jr. are found not guilty of murder in the killing of William E. Annis after a 22 hour review and 15 ballots. The verdict prompts joy in Long Island jail and at the Hotel Astor as family reacts with relief and speculation about future surrender.

Flushing N. Y Thornton Jenkins Hains Peter C. Hains, Jr William E. Annis Thornton Hains Edward W. Hannigan Hampton Roads Thornton Haing Capt. Hains Long Island Gen. Hains Hotel Astor Manhattan Thornton Darrin

Water power in danger as Roosevelt vetoes James River dam bill

President Roosevelt vetoed a Missouri James River dam bill claiming the water power grant would invite monopoly and harm public interest. He warned that uncontrolled water power risks repeats of oil history with oppressive outcomes. The message was sent to Congress and referred to the Interstate and Foreign Commerce Committee.

Washington Roosevelt House James River Stone County Missouri Committee On Interstate and Foreign Commerce

Carmichael Insanity Found After Deliberate Acts

Four physicians conducted Carmichael autopsy in Detroit and reported unmistakable insanity. They cited acute mania with congested brain vessels and adhesions, noting multiple prior brain inflammations consistent with his actions at Battle Run church and Carthage.

Detroit Mich John H. Carmichael Gideon Browning Battle Run Carthage Ill William J. Stapleton Er. B. Smith C. B. Ray Arthur W. Kipp Mr. Carmichael

Fire destroys Copeland Hotel in Topeka blaze

A Thursday fire gutted the four story Copeland hotel at Ninth and Kansas avenues Topeka. Isaac B. Lambert ex US district attorney of Kansas perished with his room on the fourth floor. Fourteen guests injured as the brick structure burned to a ruin valued at 120000 with 41000 insured.

Topeka Kan Copeland Republican Kansas Isaac B. Lambert United States Lambert Ninth and Kansas Avenues State Capitol

Ten Killed in Dotsero Train Collision Near Glenwood

A wreck of Denver and Rio Grande trains No. 5 and No. 66 at Dotsero Friday night left at least ten dead and many injured. Doctors and nurses were rushed from Glenwood Springs to aid the scene as the passenger train struck a freight at a siding, wrecking a chair car and a tourist car.

Glenwood Springs Col Denver & Rio Grande Dotsero

Mine Disaster in Veszprem Hungary Entombs 240 Men

An explosion of fire damp and subsequent dust explosion at the Auka coal mine in Veszprem Hungary traps 240 miners. Sixteen are rescued alive and 45 bodies recovered as hope remains for further rescues. Veszprem is 60 miles southeast of Budapest with about 15 000 inhabitants.

Veszprim Hungary Auka

Indiana Senator Chosen On Twenty Ballot In Caucus

Shively of Indiana was selected as United States senator on the twentieth ballot in the Democratic legislative caucus after long hours of voting. John Worth Kern, a recent Democratic vice presidential candidate, led early balloting and briefly surged to 32 votes on the third ballot.

Shively Indiana Indianapolis Ind B. I United States John Worth Kern

Portuguese Mob Fights Troops in Port Region

Rioting in the Oporto wine region escalated as troops guarding order at Regon were fired upon by an enraged mob and answered with a bayonet charge.

Oporto Regon

Mount Vernon Rich Landowner Found Dead in Denver Bath

John C. Beatty aged 65 of Mount Vernon New York was found dead in a bath tub in Denver with hot water running. The body appeared to have been in the tub since midnight indicating a Friday death.

Denver Col John C. Beatty Mount Vernon N. Y

Panic in New Italian Quake Spreads Unease Across Regions

A slight earthquake felt across Lombardy Venice Tuscany caused momentary panic linked to Calabria and Sicily activity. Observatories say center near Leimbach Saxony with Italy strongest tremor at Treviso near Venice. Riesi noted as pope birthplace. No damage or injuries reported after rapid telegraph updates.

Rome Lombardy Venetia Tuscany Calabria Sicily Florence Leimbach Saxony Italy Treviso Venice Riesi

Freed from Russian Prison Adolph Fischer Returns to New York

Adolph Fischer of 170 Jefferson Avenue Chicago spent a year in a Russian prison on suspicion tied to a Russian murder. He traveled from Libau on the Hstonia and reached St Petersburg before being released. The American ambassador secured his freedom after he sued for false imprisonment seeking 75 000 dollars.

New York Adolph Fischer Jefferson Avenue Chicago Fischer Libau St. Petersburg

Hat Makers Strike Nationwide After Label Ban

A general strike of hat makers began Friday in major centers as 25 000 workers left factories after the Associated Hat Manufacturers ordered discontinuing the union label. Hatters in New York New Jersey and Connecticut reported compliance with the order with peaceful shutdowns and no disorder observed.

New York Associated Hat Manufacturers New Jersey Connecticut

Hill Accepts Highway Commission Post in Minnesota

Minneapolis report says Louis W. Hill president of the Great Northern will join the state highway commission after informing Gov. Johnson on Thursday. The attorney general ruled state appointees may not accept free transportation, even for railroad officials, and Hill’s name was sent to the senate.

Minneapolis Minn Louis W. Hill Great Northern Railway Minnesota Gov. Johnson State Highway Commission Senate Attorney General

Presidents Widows Granted Franking Privilege

By unanimous vote the House of Representatives Friday granted the franking privilege to Mrs. Benjamin Harrison and Mrs. Grover Cleveland. The action honors the widows of two presidents, reflecting wartime and postwar sentiment.

Washington House of Representatives Benjamin Harrison Grover Cleveland

Quakes Rock South Africa with Felt Shake in Johannesburg

Several earthquakes hit different parts of South Africa with a tremor felt in Johannesburg on Friday causing no damage reported.

South Africa Cape Town Johannesburg

Philippine Band to Lead Inauguration Parade Washington

The Philippine band with 86 members from Manila will be brought to Washington to participate prominently in the inauguration parade ball and public concerts in March.

Washington Manila

Wright denies teaching Alfonso to fly in Pau

Wilbur Wright and Hart Berg arrived in Pau France on Thursday and refute reports that they were hired by King Alfonso of Spain to teach him aviation.

Alfonso Pau France Wilbur Wright Hart Berg Spain

Farmer Kills Wife Then Seems to Take Own Life Near Annapolis

Albert Lazinwood, 50, a farmer from near Bergholz, shot and killed his wife, 55, on a road near Annapolis and then fatally wounded himself. Jealousy is believed to be the motive.

Allance Albert Lazinwood Bergholz Annapolis

Massachusetts Senate Expels Lobbyists From Chamber

The Massachusetts senate without debate adopted a rules committee recommendation barring legislative agents and counsel from the senate chamber and corridors on Friday.

Boston Massachusetts Senate Committee On Rules Senate

Judge Denies Injunction Against Carmichael Prohibition Law

Judge Thomas G. Jones of the U S district court for the middle district of Alabama refused the injunction against enforcement of the Carmichael prohibition law.

Montgomery Ala Thomas G. Jones United States District Court For Middle District Alabama

Life Term Given in Double Murder at Marietta Oklahoma

John Brazier was found guilty of murder for shooting Constable D B Cook and farmer Dan Sims, wounding another farmer, and received a sentence to the penitentiary.

Marietta Okla John Brazier D. B. Cook Dan Sims

Noted Russian Admiral Dead

In St Petersburg the death is announced of Vice-Admiral Rojestvensky who commanded the Russian fleet in May 1905 when it suffered heavy loss to Japan at the Sea of Japan. The death occurred Thursday in St Petersburg from neuralgia of the heart.

St. Petersburg Rojestvensky Sea of Japan

Pittsburg Man Charged With Tampering Jurors in Waynesburg Bank Case

Pittsburg resident George W Worley brother in law of J B F Rinehart and James L Smith prominent Waynesburg businessman were arrested by U S secret service on charges of attempting to tamper with a juror in the Farmers and Drovers National Bank of Waynesburg case. It was alleged they tried to contact a juror but failed.

Pittsburg George W. Worley J. B. F. Rinehart Farmers’ & Drovers’ National Bank Waynesburg James L. Smith United States Secret Service Rinehart

Cardenio King Sentenced in Boston Superior Court

Cardenio Flavius King once a financial agent and broker was sentenced by Judge Schofield in the superior criminal court to a term of not less than ten and not more than fourteen years at hard labor in the state prison.

Boston Cardenio Flavius King Schofield Superior Criminal Court

Burton Tenders Thanks for U S Senate Honor

Theodore Burton of Cleveland thanked the Ohio legislature for electing him to succeed J B Foraker as United States senator, in Columbus Ohio. The action followed the legislature's decision to choose Burton for the high office.

Burton Ohio Columbus Theodore Burton Cleveland J. B. Foraker United States

American Girl Weds a Peer in New York Society Ceremonial

Miss Jane Beatrice Mills daughter of Ogden Mills marries the eighth earl of Granard in a 3:30 p.m. ceremony at the Mills home. Bishop Thomas J. Cusack presided before 250 relatives and guests. Gifts to the bride reportedly total about 500000 dollars including a 100000 dollar check from her father.

New York Jane Beatrice Mills Ogden Mills D. O. Mills Earl of

Turkey Accepts Austria’s Indemnity Offer

By suggestion of Sultan Abdul Hamid I the Turkish government accepts Austria-Hungary’s indemnity of 2 500 000 Turkish pounds and 10 800 000 dollars for the annexation of Bosnia and Herzegovina, removing any chance of war.

Turkey Austria Constantinople Sultan Abdul Hamid I Bosnia and Herzegovina

Swallow Shipwreck Off Long Island Claims Twelve Lives

In a fierce Sunday snowstorm off Long Island the schooner Swallow from St Johns Newfoundland and her crew were lost. The wreck strewn beachward with parts of the vessel and cargo, with about a dozen men aboard, likely perished near a sandbar off Blue Point. Capt Daggett may have left the ship before the voyage ended.

New York Long Island Swallow St. Johns N. F Fire Island Newfoundland Blue Point Gloucester Mass Pilley Island Daggett

Man Fires on Officer Aboard Train in Desertion Case

In Fort Smith Arkansas Lee Quinn tried to free his brother Grant Quinn while an Iron Mountain train carried Burgess of Fort Smith to Little Rock to face military deserter charges. Burgess returned fire. Irvin Brassfield was fatally wounded. Burgess and other passengers aided.

Fort Smith Ark Here Grant Quinn Burgess Quinn Little Rock Lee Quinn Irvin Brassfield Mulberry

Wreck kills twenty one on Denver Rio Grande line in Colorado

In Glenwood Springs Colorado a head on collision between a passenger train and a freight train on the Denver & Rio Grande near Dorreso leaves twenty one dead and about thirty injured many seriously. Officials offer no formal cause but notes point to a misread watch by Engineer Gustaf Olson, with his brother Sig Olson commanding the freight engine.

Glenwood Springs Col Denver & Rio Grande Dorsero Gustaf Olson Olson Sig Olson Steen

Murdered by a Robber at Restaurant

L Trimball a restaurant keeper was shot twice in the head Saturday night during a robbery. He was counting cash when a pistol was forced on him and the robber fired after Trimball handed over silver and bills.

Union Jra L. Trimball Trimball

Miss Violet Gordon Charlesworth Found in Oban

Miss Violet Gordon Charlesworth, long noted for her career and links to stock dealings, is found in Oban Scotland after a period of mysterious disappearance that caused substantial excitement in London.

London Violet Gordon Charlesworth Oban Scotland

Tragedy on Canadian Pacific Railway Near Spuzzum

Vancouver brief reports a wreck on the Canadian Pacific line near Spuzzum with two locomotives and four cars believed to have plunged into the river. Engineers Foster and Kinzaden were killed in the incident.

Vancouver B. C Canadian Pacific Spuzzum Foster and Kinzaden

Fort Dodge Veteran Politician Thomas D Healey Dies

Former State Senator Thomas D Healey died Friday evening of pneumonia. He was born near Lansing Iowa and moved to Fort Dodge in 1883. Local figures remembered his long service and community work in Iowa.

Fort Dodge lFormer Thomas D. Healey Lansing

Surgeon General O Reilly Retired After 45 Years Service

Brig. Gen. Robert M. O Reilly, surgeon general of the army for seven years, was placed on the retired list Thursday after a 45 year career with the rank of major general.

O'Reilly Washington Robert M. O'Reilly Army

Bank Wrecker Sentenced Five Years in West Virginia

Elbert L. Morgan, charged with wrecking Friendly First National Bank in Friendly West Virginia, received a five year term in the state penitentiary from Judge A. G. Dayton on Thursday in Parkersburg West Virginia.

Parkersburg W. Va Elbert L. Morgan First National Bank State A. G. Dayton

Actress Clara Morris Listed in Serious Condition

New York report states Clara Morris the actress remains gravely ill after a long infirmity. Her nervous breakdown is cited as the initial cause, with her family and friends awaiting developments.

New York Clara Morris

Steamer Fidra Wrecked Off Amrum. 18 Lost

The British steamer Fidra was wrecked off Amrum and is a total loss. The vessel carried a crew of 18 and it is believed that most of them perished.

Cuxhaven Amrum

Train collision injures twenty four near Coffeyville

A southbound Missouri Pacific passenger train from Kansas City collided head on with a northbound freight two miles west of Coffeyville Kansas Sunday morning. Twenty four passengers were injured and taken to area hospitals for treatment.

Coffeyville Kan Missouri Pacific Kansas City

Flames Destroy 348 Automobiles in Boston Fire

A major blaze Sunday gutted the city’s largest automobile storage and repair plant near Park Square. The fire destroyed 348 automobiles valued at about 750 060 dollars.

Boston Park Square

Peruna Cited For Catarrh Cure By Suffering Patients

Patient letters praise Peruna from R William A Presser of Moline and A Thompson of Martel Ohio. They claim complete relief after short use with no recurrence, urging others with catarrh to try the Peruna remedy from the Peruna Drug Mfg Co Columbus Ohio and to ask physicians for a free 1909 almanac.

R. William A. Presser Third Ave Moline Mr. A. Thompson Martel Ohio Peruna Drug Mfg. Co Columbus

The Girl and the Lobster Tale by Dorando Pietri

Dorando Pietri in New York cites amateurism versus professionalism at Italian banquets. He recalls a restaurant anecdote where a rich Italian contractor with a beautiful girl debates true love while praising a lobster. The tale underscores romance fading in modern life.

Dorando Pietri New York

Speedy One Meets Miss Tapps In Quick Marriage Tale

A brisk scene features Miss Tapps and a skilled typist noting a clerk who married a wealthy employer in under three months. The exchange highlights rapid courtship and social mobility themes.

Remembering the universal brotherhood in daily toil

A reflection on human stress and shared burden urges daily consideration of others. The idea, attributed to Schuyler C. Woodhull from The Bellman, calls for a kinder, more humane mindset in work and personal relations.

Schuyler C. Woodhull The Bellman

Woman finds Postum improves health and digestion

A reader from Io shares how switching from coffee to Postum relieved stomach and digestion problems. She notes headaches from coffee, claims Postum cured indigestion and complexion, and cites her grandmother's relief after using Postum for over a year.

Iowa Postum Postum Co Battle Creek Mich Wellsville

Also Mentioned on This Page

Monticello Sig, Ferrero Eve John D. Rockefeller St. Louis Mars Milionaire Hugo Muensterberg Detroit Free Press Annis Thornton J. Hains Carmichael Was Rio Grande Buda Pest Cardenio King Beatrice Mills Countess of Granard St. Johns, N. F Brother Arkansas Colorado Miss Charlesworth Solon Clara Morris Seriously III WM. A. Presser
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