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Newspaper
Monticello Express
Location
Monticello, Iowa, United States of America
Date
Jan 19, 1911
Page
6
An advertisement claims Hood's Sarsaparilla enriches blood and cures weakness. It asserts users will feel strong and cheerful, gain appetite, improve digestion, sleep, appearance, and energy for work, supported by thousands of testimonials.
A brief exchange notes how public scrutiny feels constant, with a humorous line about wearing neckties gifted by a wife each Christmas. The quoted remarks underscore social pressure and intimate humor in a festive context.
A promotional notice extols Cuticura Soap and Cuticura ointment as soothing remedies for itching burning and inflamed infant skin conditions. It claims immediate comfort, aids sleep for children and rest for parents, and offers a free 32 page care book from Potter Drug & Chemical Boston.
A humorous exchange shows a husband underestimating money as his wife reveals a hat priced at 48.99. The husband, described as a careful businessman, remains unaware of the hat’s value and appeal. The cartoonish dialogue highlights differing perceptions of thrift and style.
An old advertisement urges mothers to inspect Castoria bottles for the single signature and the claim of being in use for over 30 years as a safe remedy for infants and children. The warning underscores a familiar product moms have relied on.
A humorous dialogue references being refused before finding acceptance, likening it to a patent medicine joke. An advertisement touts Dr. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets as a sugar coated, easy to take remedy that regulates stomach, liver and bowels.
The piece recalls Joseph Pulitzer's relentless work ethic and his son's witty compliment. Ralph Pulitz er recalls a rare moment when the journalist admitted pleasure in marriage as the one exception to his habit of never taking a holiday.
A fashionably dressed young woman enters a western city post office and asks to see stamps. The clerk presents a sheet of two cent stamps and she selects a single stamp near the center, then exits.
Des Moines Jan 14 After his inauguration Lt Gov Clarke released the session committee assignments. Most chairmanships stayed with incumbents or were filled by ranking members from the thirty third assembly. The list covers Ways and Means Judiciary Appropriations Railroads Agriculture Schools Cities and Towns Banks Highways Insurance Elections Telegraph and Telephones Corporations Printing Suppression of Intemperance Lauber Public Health Constitutional Amendments and more. Senator John F Webber of Wapello plans a mortgage tax bill. Claude R Porter was endorsed for US Senator by Democrats.
Gov B F Carroll and Lieut Gov George W Clarke were sworn in at 2 pm in the Iowa House chamber by Chief Justice John C Sherwin. A large crowd attended the ceremonies and an inaugural address urged greater Iowa industry and farming stability. A flag raising and capitol reception followed along with a busy legislative agenda on education and public utilities.
The piece notes western Canada towns along railways show rapid growth driven by agriculture and local industries. It cites data from Winnipeg Free Press and Edmonton Bulletin on hundreds of new towns, and highlights thriving stations, hotels, stores, schools, churches, and implement warehouses as evidence of a lasting agricultural economy and improving climate. It also mentions government efforts to attract settlers and favorable railway rates. A separate item recalls Elihu Root praising John Hay's diplomacy with a Christmas anecdote.
An advertisement touts Pazol Unit as a cure for piles claiming relief in 6 to 14 days with a money back refund from the druggist. The copy mixes literary wordplay and moral quips, reflecting a period newspaper style.
Pettit's Eye Salve has served customers for over a century to ease congested inflamed eyes and remove film or debris from the eye area. Available at all druggists or Howard Bros Buffalo NY. An unplanned duty done is better than all planned duty undone. Baker.
Comic dialogue features Bill Bug asking about back stiffness while Waldo Worm confesses swallowing a toothpick. The playful banter centers on a quirky health misfortune and cartoonish characters.
The piece advises caretakers on feeding young children, recommending cold stewed fruit and baked apples, pre-cooked the day before. It stresses serving nursery potatoes baked or boiled in jackets to preserve skin potash, while avoiding skinless or fried preparations to reduce starch and maintain health.
Mrs Eliza Kirk of 8 Main St Spencer Indiana says she suffered inflammatory rheumatism with swollen limbs and pain. After her husband bought Dean's Kidney Pills she recovered quickly and has remained cured for three years. Sold by all dealers 50 cents a box Foster Milburn Co Buffalo NY.
A beggar knocked on a back door claiming his wife is sick and his twelve hungry children. A kind housewife offered him two home made biscuits, and the tramp asked for a nut cracker for a few minutes, hoping to crack nuts.
Dr. W. B. Cannon of Harvard comments at a New York dinner that some literature in the field is flagrant and cites a mock reply from a college paper. The reply suggests extreme measures including cremation rather than burial and mentions ten drops of laudanum.
A light exchange recalls a young man who just graduated from college and, instead of pursuing a career, eloped with a lady chauffeur, altering his anticipated life path. The conversation highlights a sudden turn in a once-promising trajectory.
An old clipping recalls a surf rescue where a grateful woman nearly married the lifeguard. It then touts Bromo Quinine as a universal cure and salves like Ham lina Wizard Oil to prevent blood poisoning, closing with a Montaigne quote on public service.
An antique advertisement touts Mrs Winslow's Boothing Syrup for teething pain gums and wind colic. It claims soothing benefits for infants and asserts relief from discomfort, common in period child care notices.
Andrew Carnegie in New York joked about the Highland dialect during a dinner. A Christmas tale follows a Fin de siècle misunderstanding as a guest compliments a maid Kathleen in Highland speech, prompting a stern rebuke from a divine. The punch line reveals a mix up with Janet of Poobics.
Public notice invites live real estate agents to join the Irrigated Land Company of California. Full government reports on soil and water systems are referenced. Write immediately for particulars to the company located in the Crocker National Bank Building San Francisco.
A witty exchange between a optimistic and a pessimistic boarder highlights the paradox of a boarding house offering unlimited food yet often lacking desirable choices. The humor hinges on the contrast between abundance and dissatisfaction in a shared living space.
A nurse from Somerville Massachusetts reports high satisfaction with Resinol noting long term patient benefits. She claims remarkable cures and says she will continue using the product until cured.
A joking exchange about giving a wife a Christmas surprise ends with the punchline that the gift is money. The brief quip notes the husband’s plan and the wife’s reaction in a light, humorous tone.
A terse verse contrasts two responses about a man named Ted and Ned. Ted tries, Ned marries and reforms, hinting at masculine choices and personal growth as framed by the periodical’s humorous tone.
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