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Monticello Express in Monticello, Iowa

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Articles on This Page

This newspaper page contains 24 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.

Newspaper

Monticello Express

Location

Monticello, Iowa, United States of America

Date

Jan 18, 1905

Page

3

Rheumatism Vanquished by Dr Williams Pink Pills

Mrs Dinsmore of Woburn Mass recounts four months of pain from rheumatism in hands and knees and a heavy limp after rest. She credits Dr Williams Pink Pills for Pale People with curing her after four months of steady use and says a later minor relapse yielded to the same treatment. The ad touts the pills as a cure for rheumatic blood toxicity and prompts readers to buy from druggists.

Dr. Williams F. A. Dinsmore Woburn Mass Williams

BITS BY THE BABES Jokes in a Sunday school room

A sketch of children and teachers trading quips about work, war, education, and biblical tales. Johnny answers with a whale bone and sealing wax joke while Nellie and Minnie reveal playful takeaways about future roles and Lot’s wife. The dialogue captures a homespun, humorous tone.

Minnie Lot

Tartarian Truths and Life’s Ironies in Wit

Opinion prose pours witty maxims on temper and intellect, love and marriage, and duty. The author pokes at human folly with sharp epigrams about advice, travel, widows and life insurance, all framed as a humorous reflection.

Grape-Nuts Aid Child After Appendicitis Recovery

An eight year old boy weakened by poor diet recovered after a doctor put him on Grape-Nuts twice daily following an appendicitis operation. The father credits the diet with the child’s strong growth, sound sleep, and healthy weight. The ad claims undigested food causes disease, promotes Grape-Nuts made from wheat and barley, and mentions The Road to Wellville.

Postum Battle Creek Mich Wellville

Allison Sets Record for Longest Senate Service

Washington letter details Senator William Boyd Allison of Iowa as the longest serving U.S. senator. It notes his upcoming 32 years in the Senate on March 4 and a total 40 years in Congress, plus his earlier House service, with comparisons to Benton Morrill Sherman and Stewart. It also mentions his early ties to Lincoln and a personal anecdote about a South Carolina white house aide named Arthur and his fondness for possum.

Ashington William Boyd Allison Iowa United States Senate Thomas Benton Missouri Justin Morrill Vermont Allison Benton Johan Sherman Ohio Salmon P. Chase the Treasury Lincoln House Congress Washington Abraham Lincoln President Lincoln Cleveland Arthur White House South

Senators Hear Real-World Expertise From Hanna to Kearns

The article praises lawmakers who speak from practical knowledge. It notes how Senator Hanna impressed the Senate with engineering and excavation details of canals and rock costs. It also highlights Senator Kearns of Utah, who spoke convincingly on mining from the ground up, earning attentive listening.

Congress Senate Hanna Kearns Utah

A White House Messenger Named Arthur Simmons

A porter outside the White House door of Secretary Loeb acts as a messenger. At 67, Arthur Simmons, an African with a round friendly face, is known to many statesmen. Simmons ran away from his North Carolina home.

White House Loeb Arthur Simmons Simmons North Carolina

Canal Legislation Debate at Capitol on Isthmian Canal

Capitol lawmakers clash over abolishing the current canal commission and replacing it with a three member board with salaries up to 7500. Rear Admiral Walker chairs the present panel, while Engineer Wallace advocates direct control by engineers and army engineers control. Wallace’s forthcoming report is awaited to argue for a sea level canal.

Capitol Canal Commission Walker House Hepburn Iowa Congress Wallace Army Engineers War Department

Cannon's Economy Moves Through Congress

Beaker Can drives economy policy in both chambers with allies Allison and Hemmenway. Uncle Joe Spooner jokes that only appropriations are forbidden, while he pushes to cut military funding by 7 million and delay naval shipbuilding amid cost concerns and naval committee scrutiny.

Beaker Cannon Congress Allison Appropriations Committee Senate Hemmenway House Committee On Appropriations Senate Committee On Appropriations Senator Spooner Wisconsin Mr. Spooner Uncle Joe Uncle Sam Naval Committee Hale Senate Committee On Naval Affairs

Particulars Wanted In Dept Store Exchange

A Yonkers Statesman item portrays a department store scene where a man asks about typewriter ribbons and the saleslady inquires whether the customer is blonde or brunette. The exchange reflects era humor and shopper dialogue.

Yonkers Statesman

Pine and the inspector in a 2000 joke

The piece jokes about Fulton inventing a steam boat and asks if he can invent an inspector who inspects. It ends with bantering that he left the idea for the year 2000 in a quip from the New York Sun.

Fulton N. Y. Sun

Peary Meteorite Brought to New York Museum Grounds

The 37 percent ton iron nickel meteorite from Peary’s Arctic expedition arrived at the Brooklyn navy yard and was hauled by 34 horses to the American Museum of Natural History. It weighs 12 feet long 8 feet high and 6 feet thick and sits on a pedestal near bedrock. The find links Greenland iron sources to Eskimo tools and “Iron mountains” once sought by explorers.

Brooklyn Navy Yard Lieut. Peary New York American Museum of Natural History Greenland Earth Iron Mountains Cant. Ross Peary Mountains Raymond Porter Pearson's Magazine Whale Sound Melville Bay Tellikotinah

Hair Dye Pitch Fails Doors In Suburban Encounter

A Chicago Tribune tale recalls Grigsby a clever agent who pivots from selling a patent hair dye to a brown boot polish after a wary homeowner buys the idea. He adapts and quietly exits without repeating the dye claim.

Grigsby Chicago Tribune

All He Cared For

An irritable husband dismisses a burglar alarm as Mrs. Hingso wakes and warns of thieves in the house. He ignores the threat and balks at danger, insisting they are not in the dining room while panic mounts about wine in the cellar.

Smith’s Weekly

Paraguayans Capture War Minister and Admiral in River Escape

A correspondent reports a Paraguayan revolution where the minister of war and the fleet admiral were captured while swimming for liberty. Paraguayan navy crews were seized as a steamer carried hundreds of patriots toward Inu muita amid a quick river battle.

Paraguay Buenos Ayres la Ary Inumuita Lopez

Cause and Cure of Rheumatism Shown by Dodd's Kidney Pills

A Wisconsin note reports Maggie Deckert's cure from kidney trouble and rheumatism after nine boxes of Dodd's Kidney Pills. She credits the medicine with ending her pain, improved sleep, appetite, and mobility, urging others to try it. The item also references longevity thoughts from a Baltimore clergyman and praises Salzer's National Oats with claimed 1904 yields, urging farmers to beat them in 1905.

Dodd Maggie KE Devkert Eagle River Wis Maggie B. Deckert Pilla U. S. Dept. of Agriculture Salzer Farmer

Salzer seed yields and offers for 1905 farming

A spread shows Salzer's pedigree seeds with reported per acre outputs including 121 bushels of beardless barley and 300 bushels of home builder corn. It promotes sending 1000 stamps to the John A Salter Seed Co in Wisconsin for samples, alongside notes on calendars and $-.

Speltz Emmer Salzer’s Salzer Victoria Farmer Stamys John A. Salter Seed Co Lin, Crosse Wis

Patent medicine endorsements and quirks in old ads

In a wartime era clippings mix a laxative Bromo Quinine tablet sales pitch claiming cure all by one day with money back promises and Grove’s signature on boxes. A quip about marriage law and a physician testimonial from Minneapolis cite Piso’s Cure as a cough remedy. The fragment ends with a line about idle birth sentences from a Chicago newspaper.

Oy Grove

Commissioner Ware Advice Amid Transfer Threat Revealed

A Chicago Chronicle clipping cites an exchange where a pension official, Ware, allegedly warned a watchman named Jackson that if not in heaven upon Ware's arrival he would ensure Jackson is transferred. The note suggests intimidation linked to a workplace dispute.

Ofice Ware Jackson Chicago Chronicle

Regulator for Chills and Fever Suggested by Leader Cartoon

In a Cleveland Leader quotation a humorous proposal imagines a medicine man creating a regulator to induce chills on warm days and fever on cold days, a tongue in cheek critique of patent remedies and public gullibility.

Cleveland

Reduced rail fares to Morida and New Orleans on Queen & Crescent Route

Tickets on sale via Queen & Crescent Route and Southern Railway to Morida, New Orleans and other points south at greatly reduced rates returning May 1st, 1905. Also variable route tickets to Morida and Cuba via Atlanta and Asheville. War rates and information available from several offices in Chicago Detroit Cincinnati and Wirren. All the fun of having a bank account is destroyed for a woman because the cashier knows how much money she hasn't got.

Queen & Crescent Southern Railway Morida New Orleans Cuba Atlanta Pesce Asheville W. A. Boekler N. P.A Adams Street Chicago D. P. Brown Fort Street N. X. Press

Winter Tourist Tickets On Sale To Southern Resorts

Winter tourist tickets are offered at low rates via the Louisville and Nashville from St Louis and Cincinnati to winter resorts in the South Southeast and Cuba. Illustrated booklets on Florida Cuba or New Orleans with time tables and rates can be obtained by addressing CO. Jn BLONG General usa Agent Louisville.

Louisville

Not So Bad. Hi Tragedy and the Fresh Eggs Show

A short Philadelphia Press note recalls a troubled tour. It contrasts rough reception with a humorous line about fresh eggs, suggesting an uneven but not disastrous reception in a town. The exchange highlights wartime era banter and small-town theater dynamics.

Comerdy Philadelphia Press

Really Dangerous Duel

Two principals arrived by automobile to a scene described as a dangerous duel, with features exceeding typical stakes in such affairs as reported by the Brooklyn Times.

Deroule de Jaures Brooklyn Times

Also Mentioned on This Page

THE Elmer Papa Harry Johnny Tommy Nellie Cannon Baltimore Washington Star Ireland Cincinnati Dunquirer N. W. Ayer & Son Philadelphia England N.Y. World W. O'Brien Third Ave Minneapolis Minn Chicago Record-Herald Infanis S Pruxpe Samuel Pitcher Aix Senna Lydia E. Pinkham Draggiste Florida N. Y Bears Castoria the Centaur Company New York City Yeats Wael Mle Cag AA Xen Canada Ottawa Biouditron Quincey Jodlinapolis Lad Conti Callahan Bilwankea WORD West 9Th SL Kansas M.v.mcisnes Detroit Ima ST. Louis, BG Ihe al Impoureas Ihe Departmenta Calgaco Ra- View Coo Coca Cola Chicaga, I
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