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Monticello Express in Monticello, Iowa

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Articles on This Page

This newspaper page contains 15 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.

Newspaper

Monticello Express

Location

Monticello, Iowa, United States of America

Date

Jan 05, 1905

Page

8

Captain Proposes In Lavinia Garden For Love

In a village tale Miss Lavinia rebuffs flowers for substance and faces a rival in Deacon Werner. The widowed captain, sensing loss, asks Miss Lavinia to marry him to spare Werner heartbreak. She agrees, and he hints a new garden of flowers will speak the language of love.

Miss Lavinia Shea Miss Davinia Brother Werner Sister Lavinia Lavinia Miss Laviola Werner Miss Tasvinia Ental Tie

Mrs Barrington In Arizona Sends Snowbound Garden Tips

A methodical northern Michigan housekeeper, Mrs Barrington, wintering in Arizona, writes January February and April reminders to her gardener Mary Charles and John about cleaning the linen closet sprouting potatoes and planting sweet peas. John replies he cannot plant due to excessive snow burying the fence.

Cuckoo Clock Joke Ends with Morning Squez

An arrogant man finishes his tale and is met by a prank about a cuckoo clock. The group recounts how the clock cuckooed three times at 12 then nine more, leaving the traveler stunned. The next morning his wife mentions sel ditz powder for the cuckoo, noting the hiccups after the 12 strike.

Thomas

Boston Man Tests Humor on English Friend

A Boston man tells a sequence of newspaper jokes to his English friend who is developing a sense of humor. The punch line hinges on a conductor noting the rear car causes delays while the front remains on time. The Englishman roars with appreciation at the American joke about train length and punctuality.

Boston

Kangaroo hunting breastplate showcased by Australian hunter

In a smoking room display a kangaroo hunting breastplate is described. The curved green matting piece shields the chest against kangaroo fore leg blows. The huntsman contrasts kangaroo hunting with tiger, elephant, and grizzly pursuits, noting the sport’s danger and the animal’s attacking jumps.

Australia

Kangaroo Hunts and Primitive Armor in Outback Sport

A vivid claim describes kangaroos stalked by eight huntsmen with native runners chasing the marsupial at high speed. The animal charges straight, leaps high, and can outrun or dodge shooters. If a shot fails, a woven native grass breastplate provides protection, though it bears dents.

New York Telegram

PITH AND POINT Wordplay On Age And Worthiness

The Atchison Globe ponders aging and character with witty maxims. It notes some men are never good outside a familiar circle, jokes about youth versus age and appearances, and mocks the idea of hidden money while urging common sense over vanity.

Atchison Globe

Curious judge comments evoke rustic legal paradox

London Tit Bits recalls Mr Justice Maule addressing a prisoner with witty irony. He notes how a jury’s verdict of guilty overrides counsel and a judge’s interpretive sentence. The rustic prisoner, puzzled, resumes his life, finding law a puzzling business.

Justice Maule London

The Yankee as Europe Knows Hin

A visiting merchant recalls how the term Yankee widens abroad. In Berne a hotel keeper described a countryman from Buenos Aires, noting both were Yankees and highlighting curious usage of the term outside the United States.

Europe Berne Switzerland Buenos Ayres New York Press

DeWitts Witch Hazel Salve Promoted in Topeka Journal

An advertisement touts DeWitts Witch Hazel Salve as a fast healer for cuts burns and bruises claiming no scar and relief from inflammation. It warns against counterfeits and notes sale by druggists. The Topeka Journal questions Senator Smoots connection to a Washington investigation.

DeWitt DeWitt's Topeka Smoot Washington

Dr Kings New Life Pills Promoted as Blood Cleanser

Advertisement touts Dr. King s New Life Pills as a modern blood and system cleanser for stomach and liver troubles. Ab Booties drug store offers them at 25c with guaranteed quality in Omaha World Herald. A separate note speculates Russians will explore the Arctic route to the Far East after the war.

Dr. King Ab Booties Drug Store Omaha World-Herald Far East

Kodol Dyspepsia Cure Promises Stomach Relief

An advertisement claims Kodol Dyspepsia Cure ends stomach trouble by digesting food without stomach aid. It features a testimonial from J. D. Askine of Allenville Michigan and notes the product builds the body while resting the stomach. Sold by druggists.

J. D. Askine Allenville Michigan Saye

Daily Consumer Focused Health Claims and Remedies Highlighted

The passage cites Dr King’s New Discovery for consumption and coughs, Electric Bitters for malaria and jaundice, and DeWitt’s Little Early Risers as reliable pills. It notes physician denials, trial offers, and local druggist guarantees, with varying testimonials from A, Indiana to Texas and New York police training mentions.

G. Finntley Oaklandon Ind O. H. Soetie

Beauty remedy and road convention note in brief

Harriet Howard credits Boeklen's Arnica Salve for skin troubles at 209 West 84th Street New York. The ad also mentions Mollister's Rocky Mountain Tea and Soetje's drug store sales as 5 cent and 35 cent offers with no cure no pay claims. Florida to hold good roads convention and travel hopes alongside health ads.

Harriet Howard Mollister O. H. Soetje

Cough Cures and Curious Notices in Local Papers

Coughs and colds claim cure by One Minute Cough Cure with claims of phlegm clearance and pneumonia prevention. Brooklyn Times reports incriminating letters about czar plots. Notes on nihilists in Russia and a vitality tonic claim. Advertising bits include Mollister’s Rocky Mountain Tea and price deals on newspapers. Apple sales and local business updates close the item.

Brooklyn Times Russia

Also Mentioned on This Page

Sbe Asked The Speedy Relief Philadelphia Miss Passay Urim Somerville Journal Alice Edith Talbot Edith Soetje’s Philadelphia Ledger New York Bob Moore LaFayette Indiana Topeka Herald Atlanta Journal Florida O. H. Boetje Kansas City Journal Prince of Wales Express Chicago Inter Ocean Des Moines Register- Leader Apple C. A. Evrieckson & Co Tlow Northwestern Yeast CO Chicago, Ill Zimmerman Maxwell Shallenberger Lovell House Monticello Jan. Il Gillen House Anamosa Bright W. E. Shallenberger Oakwood Blvd Illinois Drexel State Bank A. Kempi, Prop Eagle Drug Store H. C. Bohlken Caliornia Limited Kansas City Los Angeles Frisco E. L. Palmer Pass Equitable Bldg Des Moines, la Monmouth Mirick, & Inclis Fronticello Laws Fred Puleston Qoffl Eilers & Bolton W. J. van Bonen A. M. Maurice Lovell Dental Department Drake University Burrichter's Drygoods Morticello Iowa H. M. Remley Janes Remley Remley Attorneys AT Law Apnamosa Main Street Por A. Matthiessen E. Tarbox Jones Counties Earth Hattiel Wedguskey Northwestern Conservatory of Music Minneapolis Minnesota Herrick & Bauder Monticello State Bank P.O. Babcock J. &S. Houser Northwestern Mutual Life Insurance Co Milwaukee W.E. Minton Kangas Stopbye Thedford Chattanooga Medicine Co Chattanooga Tenn S. S. Ball Ravenswood W. Va C. Dewitt & CO
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