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Newspaper
Monticello Express
Location
Monticello, Iowa, United States of America
Date
Feb 27, 1908
Page
1
A collection of satirical notes and quips touching politics, figures like Sir Thomas Lipton, Admiral Evans, and George Washington. It grouses about Purity of thought, clashing nations, wage disputes, health policy, and social manners with a tongue in cheek tone.
The passage notes Mark Twain reportedly held $51 199 in a New York bank that failed during the panic. It hints this detail could form an interesting chapter in his biography. It also mentions Pennsylvania pure food experts testing breakfast foods and reflects on civilian heroes who risk death for their country.
The article notes King Oscar of Sweden left an estate of six and a quarter million. It adds a remark that some of his former subjects now in the United States must have beaten him by about 40 lengths in some race or competition.
A brief note observes that three or four American heiresses who married titled men still live with their spouses. It adds that these unions are said to be unusually hardy despite the strain.
A senator argues the South must go dry to keep liquor from the colored man and questions whether a color line will govern enforcement. The remark signals racial policy tensions in liquor regulation plans.
A butler was arrested in the east with diamonds worth 17000 dollars in his possession. He may receive leniency if he can prove he formerly held a head waiter position.
A New York juror caused a scene in court, voicing bold criticism of local lawyers. This marks the first time a juror has openly expressed such strong opinions during a trial.
The Prince de Sagan says he would duel if Count Boni de Castellane struck him with a glove but Boni knocked him down and kicked him into the gutter. The prince remains unworthy of notice, a paradoxical moment of unconscious humor.
A humorous and satirical description condemns burglars preying on jewelry at all hours while contrasting their crimes with the odd fate of forced civic duties such as marriage licenses and civil service exams. The piece pokes fun at the hazards of various occupations and social expectations.
A chair pusher in Atlantic City found $400 and returned it to the owner, receiving a 12 cent reward. The tale suggests the next find could yield $1,000 and a possible 23 cent payout, making the adventure more worthwhile.
Harden asserts responsibility for his writing not its readers interpretations and notes a good editor ensures a single clear meaning through careful wording.
Report covers arson at a western Iowa school near Ottumwa with $1,000 loss and $50 reward, multiple drownings and drownings near Marshalltown, a fatal shooting accident near Mason City, a poison ingestion case in Boone, a rape case in Muscatine, and a fatal track accident near Waterloo.
Lieut. Gen. Stoessel once hailed as Hero of Port Arthur was condemned to death for surrendering Port Arthur to the Japanese. The court recommended commuting the sentence to ten years in a fortress and removal from service. Gen. Smirnoff and Maj. Gen. Reiss were acquitted or reprimanded as applicable.
In Chicago on Thursday Judge Farlin Q Ball dissolved the injunction restraining 286231 Harriman proxies allowing E H Harriman to gain complete control of the Illinois Central. Stuyvesant Fish was ousted as Harriman secures victory and the ruling confirms foreign corporations may hold and vote Illinois corporate stocks.
Tokyo reports the Japanese government handed its memorandum to Ambassador O'Brien in response to the U S note. It largely agrees with several American suggestions but calls for further restrictions on emigration.
American battleships under Rear Admiral Evans anchored at Callao on Thursday. The visit is marred only by the illness that prevents Evans from attending the entertainments.
Lumber man and Civil War veteran Romeo Burns collapsed and died at his residence in Sylvaunia near Toledo Ohio. Authorities reported no foul play and the death occurred this week. Burns was known locally for his years of work in the logging trade.
Cincinnati police arrested W. B. Breitner of Minneapolis on a theft charge and recovered bonds and securities valued at $40,000, stolen Feb 8 from Daniel C. Hopkins real estate offices. Breitner’s arrest followed Minneapolis police request after a trunk search uncovered the papers in Cincinnati last week.
A massive explosion at the Hercules Powder packing house in Pinole near Berkeley killed 28 workers including four white men and 24 Chinese laborers. Foreman W. W. Stillwell was among the dead, with about ten tons of dynamite involved and fires threatening the gelatine house. Company losses estimated at $100,000. No cause yet determined.
New York investigators led by Special Deputy A G James W. Osborne appeared before the grand jury on Wednesday to begin submitting evidence in the case against the American Ice Company once led by Charles W Morse. The inquiry aims to expose financial methods and alleged control of the ice trade. The probe followed a request by A G Jackson to Gov Hughes to elevate the case from the district attorney.
About 1,000 foreign-born men marched on Philadelphia City Hall seeking work from Mayor Reyburn. The riot along Broad Street injured 20 and led to 14 arrests. Italians and Poles led the procession, carrying red flags with black borders as wagons were blocked and drivers beaten.
A large Stoddard Dayton Auto Mobile factory in Dayton Ohio burned Friday morning. Fire of unknown origin destroyed the old plant section and threatened the new section. Loss estimated at 300000 with most of the plant likely total loss. The factory ranked as the nation’s second largest automobile works.
Col Eugene W Guindon president of the Fuller’s Express company shot himself at his desk in New York without leaving a reason for the act dying shortly after.
Secretary Metcalf is attempting to identify the source of information alleged to have been supplied to writers who have criticized the navy.
Washington Justice Gould sustains the demurrer of Gen. Crozier chief of ordnance and dismisses the suit brought by Fried Krupp of Essen Germany in the District of Columbia supreme court.
Samuel Carson, a pioneer resident and veteran of Newell, Iowa, died after unknown assailants entered his home at night and attacked him. Police investigate the fatal incident.
A pair of rogues roped a poultry shop owner by inserting a whistle into geese. One goose sold to a professor who sought more of the trick birds. The man offered to obtain several fowls for a high price, profiting before the hoax was exposed.
A terse quarrel unfolds as the minister fears money will corrupt men while Meandering Mike concedes that some fellows will work for pay, highlighting temptations of cash.
A New York teacher asks brief pieces on animals and a six year old writes in vertical penmanship. She describes a robin swinging on a tree and a goldfish swimming in a bowl and asks who taught them to fly and who struck feather colors. She concludes with a reflection that it was God who did it.
Henry H. Ashton, Virginia City financier, houses early Mark Twain works in crushed Levant bound volumes. He highlights Twain’s first Virginia City paragraph noting how a thunderstorm a mother's kiss and a $15 weekly salary shaped a journalist.
An impecunious young husband who married a rich widow seeks control of her funds. She insists on retaining business control, framing the arrangement as a limited partnership rather than a consolidation. Launcelot’s demand highlights tensions over managing the estate and future income.
In a humorous exchange, a lawyer moves to dismiss arguing the warrant misses malicious intent. The country justice brushes off the point, focusing on whether the defendant struck Bill Jones, not the optics of the warrant. Proceed.
A Washington Star quote shows Senator Sorghum asserting his entitlement and noting he will employ the best legal talent to secure what he is entitled to. The exchange features a conscientious man reminding against overreach and Sorghum replying decisively.
A Philadelphia physician recalls two Irish domestic workers strolling Atlantic City and debating disease claims. They joke about a “sluggish liver” medicine, compare old liver trouble tales, and question how slugs could reach the liver in a humorous exchange.
Anson Morrill of Maine faced a rival's henchman who questioned his faith and fear of hell. The old minister joked that Morrill would be sent to Washington and, after two years, be surprised if he still did not believe in hell, reflecting the era's campaign humor.
A Baltimore man recalls a harshly treated worker named Sam Harkins. After months of abuse the employer finally told Sam to seek other employment. Sam asked for a letter of recommendation. The employer reluctantly wrote a brief note stating Sam worked one week and was satisfactory.
An aphorism reflects on how greatness arrives as a burden rather than a choice, suggesting the subject would have acted if required. The quotation examines inevitability and personal agency in achievement.
Since a valuable Van Dyck was robbed at Courtrai, Bruges churches guard their treasures with new measures. A watchman walks the Notre Dame church at night with a dog, and the Cathedral of St. Saviour and others employ similar patrols to deter thefts.
A physician questions a mother's claim of illness after a boy returns from school behaving unusually kindly to his sister and refusing to mistreat the cat. The mother cites the boy's seemingly odd actions as proof of illness, while the doctor notes new traces of disease.
In a light exchange, Say Mag questions Mame about her fixation on a not handsome man. Maggie responds that his notable feature is the gold visible in his teeth, suggesting allure beyond looks.
Quote explores turning ideals into practical norms. It argues ideals may be idealized realities and must be workable to guide daily life and form a living religion around values.
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