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Newspaper
Monticello Express
Location
Monticello, Iowa, United States of America
Date
Dec 30, 1909
Page
1
A special team of about three dozen experts is counting the federal treasure in a detailed audit. They weigh gold and silver, with sums like 5000 in gold and 6500 silver dollars. New coin counting machines and counting boards speed the process while sealed coin sacks minimize handling.
Article describes the meticulous transfer of funds and the nationwide counting of cash, coins, and bonds when a new treasurer takes office. It notes that treasury clerks will audit the government’s money across subtreasuries and vaults, with emphasis on currency counters, bond tallies, and coin weighing procedures.
Dr. Bumpus of the American Museum of History of New York announces a nearly complete 3,000,000 year old duck skeleton. Found in Lance Creek Wyoming, the specimen preserves skin on head, body and legs and will be publicly exhibited with other ancient treasures.
Rumors swirl as residents joke about Titewad’s fear of burial in a thousand-dollar coffin, citing his son’s extravagant spending as the cause of the superstition and concern.
The quip cites a baby elephant praised as a top kicker on the team. The joke notes the animal is "disabled 37 this season" and contrasts distance with force, as reported by Public Opinion.
A farmer finds a rare arsenic mine on a Virginia mountain after his cows die from water carrying poisonous deposits. The mine is described as among the most valuable in the United States, signaling major mineral wealth and potential development.
Police rookie Jack O'Brien stalks a Hill mansion during a burglary spree only to miss a planned haul as a rival gang of ten thieves is nabbed later by Officer Mike Finigan. The next morning the paper hails Finigan as a hero, boosting his promotion prospects while O'Brien sits stunned at the misjudged chase.
The Paris prefecture reports many requests to sell dog meat but has not granted permits as such traffic is deemed unlawful. Officials note possible future decision if applications rise, while contrasting with horse meat sales and noting canine flesh may be tender in some contexts.
A large gray cat sits on a shelf in a small oyster and fish shop watching customers and fish. Customers ask if she eats the fish and the owner explains she never eats fish or any other food except Jiver, and she is very particular how it is prepared.
A wry reflection contrasts how a man handles a baby with how a woman handles a joke, highlighting awkward social moments and gendered reactions in everyday scenarios.
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