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Newspaper
Monticello Express
Location
Monticello, Iowa, United States of America
Date
Dec 26, 1907
Page
3
A collection of humorous clipped quips and anecdotes featuring observations on prosperity crime old coins indulgent sayings and oddities. Items include comments on a shaky bank a Connecticut jackass death a Boston doughnut tally and a Missouri supreme court lemon ruling.
The duchess of Marlborough has tasted the immigrant pie at Ellis Island and found it good. Though not famous as a pie taster, her judgment is trusted as sensible and sound by observers.
An elderly Findlay Ohio woman died in a fire while performing an ancient incense rite. Reportedly she poured kerosene on the incense, a detail tied to a modern criticism of Standard Oil as a broader evil linked to the incident.
New York shows life strain in a city noted for its busy pace as Central Park nears its half century. Officials estimate about 3 million dollars is needed to restore the park and revive its vitality.
A Mercury like insectivorous planet crosses the sun without reaction, provoking a moral about great figures teased by small critics. The sun remains unchanged, underscoring the futility of earthly mockery and the stubborn inertia of celestial bodies.
France leads in snail production with Austria Brazilia and Switzerland hosting thousands of farms. Snails are raised on vine leaves and Paris consumes millions from September to May, highlighting snail farming as a key industry.
The article notes a shift from examinations on honor to supervision by university officers to prevent cheating. It claims Princeton is nearly the only university maintaining the honor system successfully under President Woodrow Wilson and hopes this distinction remains.
The Indianapolis Star notes that paying $500 to a heraldry and genealogy expert may be necessary to trace an obscure line to Alfred the Great. It warns that genealogical research can be perilous and risky, with dangers of discovering surprising or unsteady connections as one climbs the family tree.
Secretary of War William H. Taft returned from a world tour and urged peaceful US Japan relations. He declined to discuss the presidential race, noted growing trade, and supported a Pacific fleet practice cruise as Japan and the United States seek cooperation.
Frederick E. Sargeant cashier and vice president of the Jewelers' National Bank of North Attleboro was found dead in his home bathtub Tuesday night. Medical Examiner Holden ruled the death an accidental drowning. He was prominently identified with Providence Rhode Island and local North Attleboro business firms.
Information from Nogales, Ariz reports the murder of 12 men by a band of about 150 Yaqui Indians. The killings occurred 45 miles southeast of Magdalena in Sonora Mexico on the Wednesday of last week.
President Roosevelt signed a proclamation establishing the Arkansas national forest in the west central region of Arkansas. The area totals more than 1,000,000 acres and will be the easternmost government forest.
Mrs. Theodore Weld Birney founder and honorary president of the National Congress of Mothers died at her Chevy Chase home Friday. She founded the group and led it as an advocate for mothers and family welfare.
Two burglars smashed the plate glass window of John C. Pierik’s jewelry shop in crowded Springfield near six o’clock Thursday evening and escaped with diamonds valued at about $10 000. Police launch manhunt as shoppers look on.
The Glenville Bank Ing & Trust company a small suburban institution filed an assignment in insolvency court late Thursday in Cleveland Ohio.
The five year rivalry between John Sharp Williams of Mississippi and David A. DeArmond of Missouri boiled over on the House floor. DeArmond struck Williams, causing a bloody face. Williams returned blows as aides intervened to end the melee.
The supreme court held the current anti cigarette act applies only to cigarettes with deleterious additives, not pure tobacco, and the legislature may ban sales under police powers. The 1907 theater ticket law was invalid, and Chicago Mayor Busse was found to have removed five school board members without authority.
A massive blast at Palermo's military powder magazine Thursday night caused a series of explosions. Flames swept nearby ruins and a panic gripped the town as about 25 people were killed and around 100 wounded. Troops assisted firemen in rescue and clearing debris.
Buck Hinrichsen known as Buck Hinrichsen and longtime political figure in Illinois, former secretary of state under Gov. Altgeld, died at his Alexandria home Wednesday from paralysis after years of declining health. He was about 59.
William White a 17 year old boy confessed to police as the thief of a $32000 jewelry package stolen from the United States Express company. He was arrested in Jersey City.
Tahiti Princess Terri Po mare, daughter of Queen Marau, arrived in San Francisco on Friday from Papeete aboard the Oceanic liner Mariposa. She is niece of Prince Arii P. Salmon and is visiting the city.
Montreal reports the death of J. Israel Tarte former minister of public works. He was appointed minister for exposing Liberal Party support and uncovering scandals in the Public Works Department under the Conservative regime.
State bank commissioners took charge of the West End bank, a small state institution in western Los Angeles, after a Wednesday afternoon action.
After a massive explosion at the Darr mine in Jacobs Creek Pa rescue work halted as 300 men were trapped. Only six bodies surfaced by Friday night with many more feared buried under slate and rock as gases retard efforts and relief funds are dispatched.
Karl Lindenau in Karlsruhe was sentenced on Friday to three years in prison and five years loss of civil rights after being tried on charges of complicity in Olga Molitor libel and attempting to blackmail her.
Painters at the University of Oklahoma dome in Norman started a fire on Friday afternoon. Students confined the flames to the main building, limiting damage.
John Meyer, a farmer living near Holy Cross Indiana, fired a shotgun at his 16 year old sister thinking the chamber was empty. The blast obliterated her head, shocking the community as investigators began handling the case.
Kansas City report notes Col. James B. McGonigal, a Panhandle railroad conductor on the first train in 1850, died in Kansas City on Thursday at age 74.
By order of the comptroller Henry F. Currier the Jewelers' National Bank was placed under charge Wednesday night. The vice president and cashier Frederick B E Sargeant was found dead Tuesday night in a tub at his apartments. Directors vote closed the bank for the day pending a books examination. Liabilities total about 1,000,000.
President Roosevelt ordered withdrawal of federal troops from Goldfield Nevada on December 30 citing local authorities unwillingness to perform ordinary police duties. Goldfield residents mine owners and officials from the miners union and the Western Federation of Miners discussed the move and pledged peace and order amid possible disorder.
Glasgow reports the death of Lord Kelvin known as William Thomson born Belfast June 26 1824. The famed mathematician physicist chaired natural philosophy at Glasgow University 1846 to 1899 and contributed to heat electricity and magnetism. He helped lay Atlantic submarine cables and invented navigation and deep sea instruments. He received numerous honors from France Prussia Belgium Japan and other nations.
Two collisions near Bolivar Pennsylvania blocked three Pennsylvan ia tracks for the night after an extra freight train derailed on a broken rail and the Chicago mail train crashed into wreckage. Four injured and heavy property loss reported as debris strewn across tracks. In Georgia, Tallapoosa, Train No 23 on the Southern derailed after an open switch, killing engineer Downey and injuring two firemen. Detectives pursue tampering clues.
In Buda Pest on Sunday premier Wekerle and ex minister Polonyi fought a sword duel over political accusations. The noon meeting was bloodless as Wekerle proved the stronger swordsman in both bouts and Polonyi apologized and shook hands afterward.
Sylvester Soles, 65, a recluse living near Delta, Ohio, was shot five times Sunday morning by J. E. Peach, 34. Peach was captured and jailed in Wauseon after Soles, before losing consciousness, indicated Peach demanded $500. Bullets hit Soles in the face and leg, shattering his jaw.
Cleveland report of 50 year old engineer Frank Krag of Buffalo New York who, though ill and faint, remained at his throttle to guide a fast Lake Shore train into Collinwood yards. He exited the cab and died within minutes after arrival. He had been in his usual health before departure from Buffalo.
A Sunday morning fire in Fort Smith Arkansas razed the Hagelin six story office block the American National building and two adjacent structures. The loss is listed at 175000 with J A McWitty cotton buyer and a man named Kauffman reported missing and feared dead.
Francis B. Clarke, formerly general traffic manager of the Great Northern, was elected president of the Portland & Seattle and Astoria & Columbia River railroads in St Paul Minnesota.
The Central American peace conference ends after over a month of talks. Secretary Root, President Luis Anderson, and Ambassador Creel of Mexico delivered felicitous speeches as eight distinct conventions were agreed to and signed.
Alfred M. Hewlett president of the Western Tube company died Friday evening of paralysis at 57. The obituary notes his leadership of the firm and local ties to Kewanee Illinois.
New York City Republican county committee met briefly and, by an almost unanimous vote, declined to consider at this time a resolution indorsing Gov Charles B Hughes for the Republican presidential nomination.
Christiania Norway. C Hauge Norway minister to the United States died Thursday while on a snowshoeing excursion.
In Toledo two boys, Frank Ballmer aged 13 and Frank Felix aged 12, drowned while skating on a river slip Sunday. Their bodies were recovered.
Captain Lake aged 45 of the British steamer Hillmore was found dead in his cabin as the vessel bound for Bremen with a cotton cargo passed down the river near Wilmington. He had suffered acute nervousness for days and it is believed he took carbolic acid intentionally or by mistake. He was a native of Liverpool.
The state banking department will take charge of Neal Banking Company a state institution in Atlanta Monday after an announcement Sunday night. The bank holds deposits exceeding $2 000 000 and its financial status prompted state intervention.
Seven men convicted of robbery were executed Sunday at Yekaterinoslav in St. Petersburg notes. Four soldiers face death at Sevastopol over the Brest regiment mutiny.
A mother recalls her infant suffering severe itching and sleepless days as doctors failed. She credits Cuticura Soap and Ointment with calming the child and eliminating sores after three applications, costing 75c. The child recovered completely in two weeks. Mrs. Zana Miller Union City Michigan May 17 1906.
A wry excerpt from In the Tavern notes soaking weather and humor alongside patent remedy plugs. Meggen dorfer Blatter references nervous-disease cures by Dr. Kline, while a classic line pokes at women discussing fashion. Brown’s Bronchial Tracheal remedies are praised for hoarseness and throat relief.
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