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Newspaper
Monticello Express
Location
Monticello, Iowa, United States of America
Date
Dec 21, 1911
Page
8
A compilation of humorous notices and wry comments from the Monticello Express. Jests concern tipping ethics, a cat ranch plan, a persistent buzzard, a Missouri farmer losing a pocketbook, educated checkbooks, a dense juror remark, a 100 year old wife, a twin elopement annoyance, patriotic chickens, and novelty dance reels replacing older routines.
A British medical official warns that walnuts can contribute to fatness, echoing familiar newspaper chatter about chestnuts and weight.
An expert argues rich girls make better wives than poor ones, suggesting wealth drives higher desirability and demand in matrimonial markets. The claim links social status to perceived value, stirring debate on gender roles and economic influence.
A Boston pastor states he has never watched a baseball game and does not expect to, while authorities search for a missing man who has vanished with little clue to his whereabouts.
The new device awakens the user and simultaneously lights the gas, demonstrating modern invention’s reach into daily life and its bold approach to ending sleep.
Physicians warn that rising food prices may lead to nutritional deficiencies causing tooth loss among schoolchildren. The editorial argues economic strain affects dental health and future needs.
An eighty year old Brooklyn man faces a breach of promise suit. The case involves concerns over his letters to the woman describing himself as her baby.
A Philadelphia woman seeks a divorce claiming influence from the spirit of her husband’s first wife. The court will not entertain supernatural pleas as a legal basis for the dissolution.
Two French duelists brawled recently and declined to kiss and make up. The incident suggests they are angling for another match with a larger purse at stake.
A New York man deserted his wife citing a preference for buying stockings for himself. The court orders him to walk barefoot for life as punishment.
A Bonn University professor lecturing at Columbia University the other night asserted that the soul is not immortal. He suggested the Kaiser may respond when he returns home.
A rumor that a gold nugget was found in a chicken's crop could give cold storage men a pretext to raise chicken prices. The claim, though unverified, might influence market expectations and meat pricing discussions.
Minnesota city ordinance demands lanterns on baby carriages after dark. The remark notes statewide joy riding by young riders beginning early.
A Jerseyite wins a verdict against a factor who cut him on the wrong side. Doctors know which side a man keeps his pocket book as a rule.
A young Pennsylvania woman sued for breach of promise and bought her swain’s farm at auction to satisfy the claim. The piece notes the irony while arguing against the view that women lack business sense to deserve suffrage.
The text notes Luther Burbank plans to continue his work until a stingless blackberry variety is produced. If successful, he would be seen as a public benefactor in the berry fields.
The liner Delhi ran aground near Cape Spartel during a fog and gale. Princess Louise and the Duke of Fife with others narrowly escaped, aided by the Duke of Edinburgh and Weymouth. Six French sailors died as crews fought to rescue passengers.
The Sulzer resolution demanding abrogation of the Russia treaty passed the house 800 to 1 with Mr. Malloy of New York the lone dissent. A day of fervid speeches on Russia's treatment of American Jews preceded the vote and Mr. McCall of Massachusetts urged arbitration before drastic action. Over fifty speakers supported the measure while Mr. Mann at the head of the Republican floor favored it despite temperate language cited as risking war.
William Atkin known as Pat Reilly died at Malden hospital from a complication of diseases while connected with Reilly and Woods, a burlesque firm. He entertained thousands of patrons in Boston venues.
The dreadnought battleship Orion suffers a tank explosion injuring Commander Herbert N. Garnett and four engineers plus fifteen crew members. Officials report damage and injuries in Portsmouth England with investigation underway.
Thomas J. Lynch was re elected president of the National League after Charles W. Murphy of the Chicago Nationals declared support for Lynch ending opposition to his presidency.
Obituary notes the death of Sir Joseph Hooker a renowned surgeon and naturalist born in 1817. The report records his prominence and his long career contributing to science and medicine.
In Los Angeles Bert H Franklin investigator for the defense in the McNamara case was held to answer bribery charges involving a juror. A juror testified Franklin said Darrow had paid $20,000, but Franklin and Darrow denied any involvement. In San Francisco Moe Namara and James McNamara, both dynamiters, share a cell at San Quentin with Abraham Ruef.
The American league adopted a plan to maintain its rights under the national agreement while limiting official intercourse with the National league. It barred participation in other series unless it controls ticketing on its grounds and does not take charge of the other club’s park business.
Secretary of War Henry L. Stimser states in the annual report that current stocks are insufficient for a single engagement like those in the Manchurian war. He estimates it would take more than 650 years to secure a reasonable supply of field artillery guns carriages and ammunition needed in wartime.
J. F. Greek a machinist strips naked and climbs a five foot iron fence before leaping from the nineteenth story of the Masonic temple. He falls 300 feet and crashes into a ground floor cigar stand, collapsing the rotunda. Cigar counter clerk Harry Evans is struck by flying debris and likely fatally injured.
Washington reports the annual financial statement of the post office department by Postmaster General Hitchcock shows a surplus for the first time since 1883. For the year ended June 30, 1911 revenues reached 237,879,823.60 while expenditures were 237,660,705.48, yielding a surplus of 219,188.12.
Lina Leach Gubelmann wife of Yale professor Albert Edward Gubelmann killed herself by throwing into West River after protracted melancholy. The incident occurred in New Haven Connecticut drawing attention to mental health struggles among faculty spouses.
The trial of Rev. Clarence V. T. Richeson on murder charges in the Miss Avis Linnell case was postponed at the request of his counsel due to Richeson lacking funds to pay his lawyers.
Albert W. Walter, convicted of the first degree murder of Ruth Wheeler a fifteen year old stenographer in New York City on March 24 1910, must die as the Court of Appeals affirms the conviction and death sentence.
Henry O Day, veteran NL umpire, was selected to manage the Cincinnati National club for the upcoming season. His appointment signals a new leadership era for the Reds as the team prepares its roster and schedule.
The Republican national committee selected Chicago as the convention host to nominate president and vice president. Denver and St. Louis were the other contenders, with Chicago winning 42 to 7 and 1 vote, as St. Louis abstained. The administration backed Taft allies in shaping the arrangements committee and delegates call, while Senator Borah led a minority effort to widen primary access.
Thirty five bodies have been recovered from Cross Mountain mine in Briceville Tennessee as relief crews rush burial work and funeral services. Rescue teams use chalk marks and canary birds to locate remaining miners, with more than 75 miners believed trapped and alive. A secondary rescue unit battles two miners driven to madness by the blast while trying to secure them.
The Hyde trial paused after juror Harry Waldron escaped his room at a hotel with two deputy marshals guarding the twelve jurors. Prosecutor Conklin launched an inquiry into possible inducement and whether mistrial may follow based on Waldron’s actions while at large. Waldron used a pillow dummy to occupy his bed and avoid detection.
Los Angeles residents crowd Long Beach to celebrate Calbraith P Rodgers completing his ocean to ocean journey. Rodgers resumed from Compton after a prior fall and injury eight miles away and successfully finished the transcontinental flight amid cheering crowds.
Mrs. Alice Vance was arrested in Little Rock Arkansas after being accused of murdering her four year old daughter. Her brother was detained as an accessory. The mother claimed she went to a spring yesterday afternoon and found the child slain upon return.
Lester Brewer underwent an appendectomy at a Duluth hospital for appendicitis. In the removed appendix surgeons found a nail embedded inside, a remarkable intraoperative discovery.
A horse in a Maple Lane ranch stall kicked its owner to death and later died of starvation. Robert Norris, an elderly recluse, was found beneath the horse in the barn, ending a solitary life.
A dynamite bomb exploded during a crowded theater event in Liege Belgium. Police arrested three suspects as 60 people were injured and several killed. Many victims were transported to local hospitals for treatment.
Washington. The Sherwood dollar a day pension bill passed the house with bipartisan support. The measure adds an estimated 35 to 45 million dollars to the pension roll after amendments. Representative Mann secured changes extending coverage to Mexican War veterans and old soldiers in soldiers' homes.
Report from Laredo says Gen. Bernardo Reyes is entrenched with an insurrecto army in the mountains near Galeana Nuevo Leon and expected to move toward Monterey soon.
Dr. Charles W. Eliot, Harvard president emeritus, underwent an appendix operation in Colombo, Ceylon, last week and is reported progressing favorably.
Martin Howard, 72, educator and former professor of mathematics at Notre Dame and Chicago universities, died in Grand Rapids Michigan. He was well known for his scholastic work and teaching career.
Boston report states a suit filed in the federal circuit court seeks the dissolution of the United Shoe Machinery Company. William S. Gregg, special assistant to Attorney General Wickersham, brings the action.
Iowa State College in Ames will run a two week winter short course January 1 to 13 covering practical fattening feeding breeding and herd management. Prof Kennedy of animal husbandry leads a program drawing on the college’s record in international show prizes for fat cattle and hogs to help farmers improve stock.
Des Moines reports three dairy trains will operate statewide under the state dairy and food department and the State Dairy association. The Illinois Central line train runs two weeks in late January, followed by dairy specials on Rock Island and Northwestern lines at a later, undetermined date.
Farmers' Co operative Creamery opened its new plant in Gowrie this week with thirty five customers the first day and five hundred pounds of butter churned from the初 day cream. Some Ames professors attended the opening for inspection.
At the Bethany United Brethren church consecration service in Marshalltown Bishop W. M. Weekley of Kansas City led the campaign. More than $2,000 was raised with only about $800 still needed to complete the fund.
Game Warden Lincoln struggles with crate transport of deer after seven die from injuries and fright during capture. With thirty deer already captured on Thanksgiving day, release back into the wild remains a possibility as shipping plans fail.
Oskaloosa Pythian lodge members under special dispensation staged a revival raid on the city. They filed over two hundred applications from representative business and professional people, lifting membership beyond five hundred.
Donald Handley aged sixteen was bound over to the grand jury on a black hand letter threat to farmer Frank Richie. He later pleaded guilty and paid a $500 fine.
The Iowa Supreme Court will hear a case where Miss Alma Lemke was awarded 4250 dollars against Herman Franzenberg for breach of promise. Franzenberg has appealed the verdict.
Vinton court grants Fred Hazen a verdict for $4500 against O. W. Miller after Miller failed to appear. Hazen sued for alienations of his wife's affections, and the judgment was issued in favor of Hazen.
Judge Clark of the district court imposes a sentence of not over thirty years in the Anamosa reform school on Robert Gable for assault with attempt to commit murder.
Keokuk jurors awarded Michael Allen 1500 dollars in district court against DuPont Powder company after he lost an eye while working for the firm. The case centered on damages for the injury and its impact on Allen.
Louis Bjianchi, a miner, jumped into the 200 foot Sunshine mine shaft after debt collection actions. He died instantly. He left a wife and one child.
J H Andrick, 78, longtime editor of the McGregor Times and recently with a Chicago firm, died at his New Hampton home. He had a notable career in Iowa journalism.
E D Graham a ten year prosperous merchant in Mason City vanished after last being seen a week ago with $5,000. His wife fears foul play and offers a $50 reward for news of his whereabouts.
The Dirsa trial jury failed to reach a verdict in the case of Mike Dirsa charged with killing his sweetheart Karoline Gribauszuse. The panel split six to acquit and six to convict, leaving the fate unresolved.
A.C. Brice, then consul to Matanzas Cuba, says he was warned two nights before the Maine explosion that the disaster would occur. He claims President McKinley advised him not to publicize the warning until now, amid naval inquiry reports.
A major blaze in Centerville wiped out two business blocks and damaged a third. Losses include G W Randle general store six thousand dollars Davidson Hardware company fifteen thousand J W Williams Davidson son building fifteen thousand Dowie and Hans son Grocery three thousand Odd Fellows hall two thousand and offices of Southern Iowa Coal company and A D Crawford.
The Muscatine button plant resumes operations after a deal with fifty workers. They will return to work pending arbitration of disputes. Management had remained separate from other manufacturers, and it closed during the lockout, becoming the first factory to reopen in the prolonged strike.
Sheriff Campbell said Thomas B. Oskinson, local button maker, confessed to the Muscatine officer killing. He reported a written confession was signed by the youth during a jail visit with his mother.
Mason City reports Judge Hodson of Winneshiek county holds that farmers cooperative associations that force members to sell hogs hay or other products under threat of fines are illegal monopolies in restraint of trade.
Captain Robert Mc Cleave an inspector instructor of the national guard will inspect the Fifty third Fifty fourth and Fifty fifth regiments of the Iowa organization. Inspections are set for the first four months of next year.
Marshalltown report notes no decrease in land value as 120 acre Laurel farm sold. Buyer Hibs brother purchased from Srs Rainer at 152.50 dollars per acre.
Promoters of the Iowa City to Oskaloosa interurban say funds are sufficient to build the line to Keota next year even if English capitalists do not provide enough for the entire project.
Davenport group, the German American Alliance of Scott county, denounces Governor Carroll by resolution for appointing Iowa delegates to the Anti Tax Salo on league national meeting in Washington.
The town hosted farewell functions for Rev and Mrs Gutelius who depart Wednesday to begin missionary work in Koge Japan. They are honored for their service and commitment to the mission.
Chariton report says James Burns and John Williams are under arrest in Omaha charged with robbing the Derby bank near Chariton of $4,000 and are fighting requisition for return for trial.
The Woodbine The Boyer Valley drainage ditch, the longest in Iowa, is finished and water flows in it. The project will convert hundreds of acres of swamp land into productive farmland.
The dead body of Andrew Blanche a miner was found with a bullet wound in the head. Authorities suspect foul play. He leaves a wife and seven children.
James E. Greenwald, a professional poultry judge from Milwaukee, officiated as awards were presented at Corydon's fifth annual poultry association exposition.
Alta Flohrer seven daughter of farmer Robert Flohrer near West Point was gored to death by a cow while playing in the barn.
Good attendance and valuable information from progressive fruit growers of Iowa highlighted the Southwestern Iowa Horticultural Society sessions held in Woodbine last week.
Harvey Houck age 21 dies by self inflicted act. His father travels from Rockville Missouri to view a note found on his son that may explain the cause.
Ottumwa city council forwarded a water and picture house regulation ordinance to the committee of the whole where it will die.
At a Poweshiek bar association meeting in Montezuma the candidacy of Judge Byron W. Preston of Mahaska county for the supreme court was strongly endorsed.
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