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This newspaper page contains 32 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Monticello Express
Location
Monticello, Iowa, United States of America
Date
Aug 20, 1925
Page
1
An Englishwoman in a carriage shouts Portaw at Aberdeen station to a red headed Scottish porter who responds with a quip about needing a porter. The exchange, described in a London Evening News style, highlights a clash of accents and a humorous moment on the platform.
Cheerups awakens to a rumbling morning when Gray Ears the African Elephant arrives seeking advice on worn teeth. Cheerups reassures him that teeth regrow and he should be patient, promising to return for an update as Gray Ears departs into the jungle.
George Matthew Adams explains digestion from intake through absorption, detailing how meat vegetables and fats are processed by saliva stomach pancreas liver and intestines. He describes commercial pepsin pancreatin and bile derived from slaughtered animals and used in medicines with caution about shelf life and decomposition factors.
The article traces beliefs that a cricket on the hearth brings luck and that its departure signals good omens. It discusses origins, linking the symbol to Anne Annie and Anna, and notes historical references to Lares and ancient magicians while questioning a scientific basis for the superstition.
The passage urges beginning love with the nearest individual and questions whether one can truly love distant, foreign influences. It argues that great cosmopolitans often beg for empathy, yet many love only their own narrow selves, diminishing universal affection.
A poem by Mellore Newspaper Syndicate tells of a traveler facing thorny trials that daily prick him. He collects stones, etches them smooth, and builds a cheerful dwelling from them, using every hurdle as a rung on a ladder he will not climb out of.
The text credits Sebastian Lenormand with inventing the parachute and using it in 1764 for a descent from a Lyons house window. It also notes Gernerin in Paris conducted the first balloon descent in 1707 with a 23 foot parachute of canvas gores.
A witty exchange pits a wife and husband in a lighthearted quip about tailoring. The wife jokes a single dressmaker could ruin her, while the husband hints many would be needed to shape a man. The dialogue reads as playful marital banter.
A heated domestic scene shows a woman demanding a new frock despite the economy, while a man refuses to provide funds, declaring he will never speak to her again, prompting a sharp retort about a woman's demands.
A local quip notes Bill-Smith's grocery store failed until a pretty young salesgirl drew customers. Town sports patrons now frequent the shop, described as a counter-attraction by a Progressive Grocer critic.
A professor questions the student on a proposition from Euclid. The student concedes that proving it is too strong but asserts it is rendered highly probable. The exchange highlights cautious mathematical reasoning in a classroom setting.
In a sharp line the speaker jokes that a woman driver stripping gears could be mistaken for a comic strip. The remark blends humor with a blunt stereotype about female drivers.
In a brief note, Walter Ile, the restaurant proprietor, is reported to have stepped out for lunch, leaving table service in suspense and customers asking who runs the place.
A fragmentary column argues gender roles in youth and parenting with provocative phrases about daughters and sons. The piece reflects social attitudes of the era, contrasting expectations for girls with boys and suggesting reformulations of gender norms.
A fragmented line references Yor Jackson Druck and Lizzie in noting a monument lighter than a truck. The readable text is sparse but preserves the names and the implied comparison to a heavy vehicle.
The line reads as a terse exchange about a person who seems to ridicule the speaker. The speaker refers to a difficult figure, implied to be a divorced husband of the speaker’s spouse, in a sharp, teasing tone.
A dialogue references Jack Ridleigh pursuing a kiss and the dilemma of choosing between a flushing or pale girl, highlighting color as a social cue. The fragment suggests a scene of flirtation and social perception without broader context.
A cryptic note from the Georgia Yellow Jacket records a humorous mistranslation of a theft report. The text references burglars in a rose garden and a minister’s wife, with a line about a dollar amount and self-discovery of errors.
A mother warns Elste against revealing parental quarrels to neighbors. Elste replies that she never speaks of fights, but she notes pleasant behavior between her parents when it occurs.
A humorous exchange plays on words with the question Is John down on the farm and the answer No then Yes confirming the irony that he is indeed on the farm. The quip highlights language ambiguity and rural motif.
A quip from the Volloburgh Scotsman notes how children resemble their mother, reflecting playful family banter about parenting and curiosity. The dialogue centers on parental responses to children’s probing questions.
Oklahoma Whirl wind prompts a playful remark about couples and frequent calls. A friend notes several men share the habit, highlighting humorous domestic routine amid windy weather.
The excerpt reflects on aging and the pursuit of happiness and contentment as time passes. It contrasts youth’s vision of a glorious future with the later realization of how precious time slips away under the ticking family clock. It critiques the worship of gold and the lure of laughter.
By F A Walker reflects on exhausting efforts for fame and the toll on morals. The author urges maintaining art intellect and existence in the right channel as the path to lasting happiness, claiming it surpasses worldly wealth.
A historic cooking note describes preparing chicken in aspic using four pound chicken, celery onion parsley and spices, clarifying stock with egg whites, adding gelatin and paprika then molding with asparagus and olives. It suggests beet and tomato jelly variations and a chestnut orange salad with raisins served on lettuce.
Wayne D. McMurray notes Wentworth Dillon fourth earl of Roscommon famed for witty lines including the saying the multitude is always in the wrong Though a friend of Charles II he was called the only moral writer of the era born 1633 died 1685 Roscommon left few works beyond an essay on translating verse and a translation of Horace's Art of Poetry
A motivational verse urging continuous effort and self-improvement. It challenges workers to perfect every detail and reject complacency, declaring the best job reflects the maker’s character and future growth.
The text suggests the American Miltons believe they descend from John Milton, author of Paradise Lost, and claim collateral lineage. It hints at a possible familial connection but leaves the descent unproven in this fragment.
Milton family lineage traced from Judge Christopher Milton of Halifax North Carolina to John Milton who settled in Georgia after the Revolution. Descendants include Homer Virgil Milton of the War of 1812, Governor John Milton of Florida, and William Hall Milton a distinguished surveyor general. The name origin notes cas and Ashley surname derivations.
The article describes historical wedding customs where rice grain or other foods are thrown at brides and grooms. It notes prosperity and fertility as common beliefs, with raisins figs and sweet mente used in some regions to symbolize making the bride sweet to the groom and his family.
A collection of wry sayings on free speech, widowhood, child rearing, and bedtime routines. Observations contrast cautious adults with restless sleepers and a humorous note on a husband’s sleep talking.
The article recalls Lafayette as a national hero alongside Washington and Lincoln, noting America’s debt to France for freedom. It traces his 1757 birthday in Auvergne France, his voluntary service in America, role as general, time in France, and later imprisonment before dying in Paris in 1884. It mentions Pershing’s tomb remark.
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