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Newspaper
Monticello Express
Location
Monticello, Iowa, United States of America
Date
Aug 15, 1912
Page
9
A string of aphorisms and wry observations on weather fashion and society. Notes on diet fashion and politics mingle with humor about bears on the stock exchange and a lobster famine in Newport. A joke about a man who marries his son's widow ends the column.
A playful note describes the NYPD joining a fly swatting campaign. It jokes that every officer can claim the title fly cop as the department embraces the pest control effort with humor.
A visiting foreign count declares only one true gentleman exists in the United States and asks how much he owes him. The remark frames a cultural jab while highlighting perceived civility in American society.
Reported break in at a London jail sees thieves enter the warden’s office and seize cash from his desk. The incident follows broader remarks about British humor, noting a tension between seriousness and wit.
The report notes a substantial decline in the city’s death rate since 1866, while observations about visitors returning home before death add a quirky, humorous angle to the piece.
Citizens who waited to buy a flag for full stars can now buy confidently as the 1912 design is expected to endure for many years. The endorsement suggests stability for collectors and flag buyers alike.
A German man was jailed for turning the face of an emperor bust to the wall. The lese majeste matter, dormant for some time, appears to be gaining attention again.
A playful remark suggests enjoying local options instead of traveling abroad for summer. It highlights convenience and comfort of staying home while offering a witty prompt about exploring nearby attractions.
Holidays often see more accidents due to rushed planning crowded travel and increased alcohol use. Distractions疲 and weaker routines can raise risk, while celebrations may encourage riskier behavior. Public safety campaigns emphasize slowing down staying sober and planning ahead.
A modern Trilby asserts she can be hypnotized into singing like a grand opera star. She plans a public test before a Marine audience to prove the claim.
A professional flyer abandons his high risk pursuit to marry his chosen bride, as she dislikes a husband who spends most time in the air, ending the risky chase for love.
A quizzical note from a bygone era depicts a weary pedestrian under the heat while a motor car presses on with relentless energy. The speaker longs to witness a car overwhelmed by sunstroke, a dramatic reversal of the chase.
A fisherman says he caught a catfish 131 years old in the Mississippi River. He contrasts his tale with typical fish stories, insisting the claim shows his originality rather than exaggeration.
A 100 year old book agent credits butter milk for his long life and continued work. He urges that butter milk should be banned as an encouragement for book agents to reach a century of age.
A Pennsylvania physician declares the family cat must go citing its nightly meowing on the back fence. The statement accompanies strong support for removing the animal to end the disturbance to the family.
A quip likens a risky medical experiment to a supposed surgical success even if the patient dies. The remark frames the procedure as dramatic despite the fatal outcome.
A pilot and his wife concluded their honeymoon by flying over the English Channel. The route, though adventurous, may have been more enjoyable than the traditional crossing, as the couple found excitement where routine travel would offer familiarity.
Cedar Falls hosts the dedication of the Western Old People’s Home of the Evangelical Association built on the Pfieffer homestead site on Irving street. The $60 000 facility will care for fifty residents under a trustees board led by Bishop S P Spremg and Rev. Andrew L Hauser, with Mrs Hauser as matron.
Dr. Albert J. Wilsey of Keokuk is charged with man slaughter after the disappearance tied to the death of Mrs. Mabel Trentor. Sherman Trentor, the informant, filed the information in superior court and Wilsey has not been heard from since leaving on a fishing trip.
Harvey Hilsabeck's twenty acre North Marshalltown field yielded sixty five bushels of oats per acre with rust free, excellent quality grain. Winter wheat in the same area runs twenty to thirty bushels per acre and is rust free.
Muscatine residents learn a month may pass before Davenport and Muscatine Interurban service arrives as city council and Tri-City corporation fail to agree on permit terms.
G. H. Staynor secretary of the Iowa Crop Improvement Bureau says progress is being made in forming crop improvement leagues in several counties, with Palo Alto already organized and others moving ahead statewide.
The comptroller of the currency issues a charter for the First National Bank of Terril Iowa with capital stock of 50 000 Harry H Buck named president and C C Gravatt cashier in charge of the new institution.
George Miller, arrested in June for burglary at the Lawler depot, escaped from the jail here. He used a fork, pipe wrench, and saw to pick bricks, receiving tools from outside.
Relatives and about sixty friends joined Mr. and Mrs. Albin Cox of Orient to mark their fiftieth wedding anniversary on August 2 with a gathering in Creston.
Estherville captured the tournament championship by defeating Emmetsburg Iowa and Jackson and Fairmount Minnesota in fast, well attended games securing the regional baseball title.
L. E. Chausee of Negau Michigan won the bid to erect the new high school here at a cost of 150000 dollars. The project marks a major investment in local education and will provide a substantial public facility.
Earl Hamstreet harvested 22 acres of barley yielding 1,012 bushels at 60 cents a bushel. The gross return equals 27.60 dollars per acre.
Cedar Rapids reports Mrs. A. H. McKenzie aged 62 died after swallowing a small chicken bone a week earlier. The bone cut the stomach lining and caused a fatal hemorrhage.
The Thirty-eighth Iowa volunteer infantry will hold a reunion in Decorah on Wednesday and Thursday October 23 and 24. A good number of Winneshiek veterans were members of this famous company.
Mason City reports the death of Alexander Ganges and another man in three days from drinking doped whiskey or denatured alcohol. Stomachs and brains were sent to Iowa City for analysis to determine the poison.
The Iowa conference of Seventh Day Adventists schedules a large camp meeting in Boone from August 22 to September 1. About 260 tents will form a temporary city with an expected daily attendance of at least 1000 people. Delegates from nearly all 111 churches in the Iowa conference will attend the sessions.
Within 60 days work will commence on a large sugar beet factory to be erected by a Michigan sugar beet company, assisted by local capitalists headed by Congress man Haugen. The city will furnish the site and farmers will sign contracts to deliver sugar beets next year in large quantities.
George J. Yeager, 62, a Prussian war veteran, was shot on his way home after a German society meeting in Sioux City. He was found by passersby resting against a tree and could talk but would not name his attacker.
J Tred McCulloch on a farm several miles southwest of Belle Plaine has seven acres of alfalfa and reports up to four cuttings per year with some harvests reaching two tons per acre. The crop is described as valuable, reflecting strong yields for the area.
Joseph LeFebvre a prominent contractor in Mapleton disappeared after leaving home for a day’s work. Family and friends report he has not been heard from since departure. Police and relatives seek information on his whereabouts and condition.
Mrs Antoinette Woude widow of the late Lieut A J Woude Sixth Cavalry died by shooting herself in Fort Des Moines. Ill health is given as the cause of death by her own action.
Louis Siegel a New York traveling man caused excitement in a local hotel by insisting guests accept his valuable leather samples and was declared insane. He is confined pending the arrival of eastern friends.
Jonas Young, a prominent farmer living about fifteen miles southwest of Webster City, was found dead in a corn field after an all day search. He died by self-inflicted poisoning with strychnine. Young was well-to-do and leaves a wife and eight children.
The Des Moines conference of the Methodist church will be held in Boone September 11. Ecclesiastical rumor suggests changes in key pulpits this year with pastors reportedly asking for charges.
Mason City reports L. L. Cadwell of Decorah a familiar figure in G A R and local business circles has been awarded brevet major of the Second New York cavalry for distinguished service at Alabama Bayou on September 20, 1864.
Ottumwa man John Montgomery, jailed on $2,000 bail, was bound over to await grand jury action on an assault charge filed by the mother of 11 year old Mary Utterback.
Des Moines August 7 Representative N E Kendall announced he would not seek another term in Congress from the Sixth district. He filed a formal letter with Secretary of State Hayward outlining his decision.
Charles H. Wells sells 100 acre farm north of Boone for 60000 to Albert Odin. Odin takes possession October 1. The property described as among the best in Iowa.
Fire destroyed the annex of the girls dormitory at Central Holiness University east of Oskaloosa. The blaze also burned the kitchen bakery and large storehouse, causing losses of several thousand dollars.
Creston Clark, arrested on a charge of attempting to cut his wife’s throat with a razor, was released after the woman declined to press charges. The dismissal followed her decision not to prosecute.
Dallas Center reports a bumper crop with oats yielding fifty to eighty bushels per acre and wheat thirty five to fifty five bushels. Farmers threshing the high yielding crop across Dallas County this year.
Threshing has started on R. B. Young’s large stock farm near Buffalo Center. A rye field yielded seventy bushels per acre while oats are running over sixty bushels.
Court fined Earl Rogers fifty dollars for contempt after he called a witness a perjurer during the Darrow trial. The judge postponed punishment to overnight jail, later replaced by a writ of habeas corpus issued by Acting Presiding Judge Dean. The confrontation centered on the mysterious stranger who paid Franklin four thousand dollars in bribe money to influence jurors.
A large Danish American gathering in Copenhagen marked the opening of the Danish American National park in Jutland, presented to the Danish government by Danes in the United States. Navy orders launched demonstrations in San Francisco Manila and New York on October 14 and 15, with officials stating no political significance.
In Minot South Dakota on August 9 a tramp saved Jessie McKenzie from drowning in the Mouse river. Two hours afterward the man was arrested for vagrancy and expelled from the city.
In Niagara Falls New York an eight pound boy was born Wednesday to Mrs Philip EB Webster. Mrs Webster, age forty four, was married at sixteen and this baby is her twenty eighth child.
The steamer Gayley of the Mitchell line was rammed and sunk off Keweenaw Point in Lake Superior by the Rensselaer of the Pittsburg line. The vessel and its cargo of coal were total losses.
The motor boat Detroit commanded by Capt. Thomas Fleming Day of New York arrived at Queenstown on Wednesday after leaving New York at noon on July 14 for St. Petersburg.
Washington reports the civil war in Nicaragua worsened by famine as the Red Cross authorizes $1000 in food to move from Panama to Corinto aboard the Justin. The ship will carry 350 marines to Corinto for Managua, while Nicaragua remains unable to borrow abroad or pay debts.
Port au Prince reports General Cincinnatus Leconte and family perished when a powder magazine exploded and fire destroyed the palace. Four hundred killed or injured. rebels capture Daibon San Domingo. 200 wounded. authorities maintain order as assemblies convene.
The second Lorimer investigation cost 70,000 dollars with 22,000 in lawyers fees. John J. Healy of Chicago will receive 12,000 and John H. Marble of Washington 10,000 for their work as committee counsel. Detective William J. Burns’ services run near 2,000 dollars as part of the overall expense.
Detective William J. Burns extended his yearlong probe into New York gambling and disorderly districts. A committee funded the inquiry, revealing a long list of prominent men and women owning property used for vicious purposes in the underworld, raising questions about the so called Four Hundred.
Topeka Kansas reports Tuesday night results show the Progressive Republican ticket victorious. Roosevelt electors and Governor Stubbs are named on the slate for United States senator.
A New York New Haven Hartford passenger train derailment near Boston left an engineer and a fireman dead and twenty passengers injured. Rescue teams worked to recover bodies and treat the wounded amid wreckage and burning cars.
Chicago reports veteran railroad executive Marvin Hughitt marking his seventy fifth birthday on Thursday. He serves as chairman of the board of directors for the Chicago and Northwestern railroad.
New York August 7 a surrogate court report fixes the novelist David Graham Philips estate at 46183 dollars and four cents following his death by a musician.
Washington August 7. The death Monday of Judge Herron father of Mrs Taft will cast the White House into mourning and compel Mrs Taft to abandon plans for a bright social season.
Donovan, veteran pitcher for the Detroit American League team, was announced Thursday as manager of the Providence club in the International League. The move places the Detroit player in a new leadership role beginning this season in Providence, Michigan.
Washington experts from the department of agriculture estimate that more than 45 million dollars are lost annually by American egg producers and dealers due to improper handling.
Nine members of the Italian Black Hand Society were arrested by Cincinnati police on Thursday following the stabbing of John Abato, an Italian man, as authorities intensified efforts against organized crime.
The Rt Rev Dr Patrick A Ludden bishop of the Catholic diocese of Syracuse died Tuesday at his Syracuse home aged seventy seven He had served as bishop for twenty five years in the diocese according to local reports.
United States Senator Robert L. Owen won a sweeping victory over former Governor Charles N. Haskell in Oklahoma, carrying the state by a large majority on Tuesday August 8.
George Ballew, who shot five people and burned a South Platte hotel Friday, killed himself near La Junta after a pursuit from Rocky Ford. Deputies shadowed him as he seized a horse and buggy and slashed a horse. a negro motorist fired, a final shot ended the chase behind a hay stack with no pursuers hurt. Ballew had threatened his estranged wife, who lives in Las Cruces, N M, and hoped to reach her.
A Lorraine pit near Gerthe, Bochum, Germany, suffered a firedamp explosion that trapped about 650 workers. By night, 103 dead and two dozen bodies recovered. many rescued with severe injuries. Rescue teams could not enter the flooded gallery where 50 to 100 men were believed entombed.
Mary Leigh received five years for wounding John Redmond with a hatchet during an attack on Premier Asquith’s coach on July 19. Gladys Evans, guilty of July 18 Theater Royal arson targeting an Asquith speech, also drew five years. Lizzie Baker, Evans’s alleged accomplice, pleaded guilty and got seven months. The crowded courtroom reflected the high profile of the cases.
Indianapolis August 8 Durbin former governor Winfield T Durbin of Anderson won the Republican nomination on one ballot with 711 votes nine short of a majority while Shank Chaney and Carlisle trailed. Counties drifted toward Durbin and rivals planned to unite behind him for a unanimous ticket.
Steever reports to the War Department that American troops were fired upon by Mexican rebels again. Conditions opposite Del Rio are described as bad.
The Western Sugar Refining company asked the San Francisco superior court for dissolution on Thursday. Petitioners named are John D. Spreckels, W. H. Hannam and W. I. Brobeck.
Dr Andrew Morrissey C S C was re elected provincial of the Order of the Holy Cross for the United States on Thursday. The six year term places his headquarters at Notre Dame Indiana.
Friends of Police Lieut. Becker say John F. McIntyre, the accused lieutenant's counsel, has a cash retainer of 325000 in the Rosenthal murder case, as disclosed in New York on August 9.
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