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Newspaper
Monticello Express
Location
Monticello, Iowa, United States of America
Date
Apr 27, 1911
Page
5
The Monticello Express parodies current events and curious trends from around the world. Jokes touch sleeping sickness in Philadelphia, fashion absurdities, gilded fish, and sensational forecasts for 1912 and 1915.
Maj W S Conkling of the Iowa National Guard returning from two weeks with the regular army on the Mexican border says neither the Federals nor the insurgents seek open war with the United States. He cites good health among 11 000 troops at San Antonio and notes several Iowa officers excelling in the regular army. The report highlights aviation progress and a pledged restraint from invasion, with a promise to act as a big brother if needed.
A U S woman reportedly paid 25 000 dollars in Paris for a handkerchief. A foolish maid allegedly accepted the bid and may have paid for an interest in a French count with that sum.
A woman argues that avoiding heavy underwear can extend life to 150 years. Her theory, while intriguing, risks clashing with wool producers who favor traditional undergarments.
A curious tale reports a New York dog turning black after consuming a black kitten. The incident is framed as a natural precedent to the saying that eating crow can darken a person’s appearance.
A kidnapper received a twenty five year prison term signaling ongoing tough sentencing. The article notes concerns that upon release kidnappings could reemerge as a lost art.
An investigation reveals college students receive skim milk raising concerns that diets influence character. A renowned lecturer warns that colleges may be producing criminals if the theory that men are what they eat holds true.
A Nevada proposal would let a death row inmate choose between hanging or a quick painless poison. The plan, tied to broader views on separating unhappy marriages, reflects a lenient streak in the state's approach to harsh penalties.
A Gotham magistrate praised a wife in court while discussing a forcible remonstrance with a stove lid. He argued that if wives were 80 percent resourceful with household furniture there would be no whipping post, and sentimentalists could not complain at a wife injuring her husband’s self respect by refusing patient submission.
A student from a renowned women's college asserts plain girls seek college to compete with naturally gifted rivals in marriage markets. The remark is seen as harming the push for higher education and challenges its proponents.
A German college professor invited to toast the emperor declines saying he hates to toast a man with so many faults. The remark highlights a clash between academic independence and imperial ceremony.
A visiting foreigner comments that mothers resemble their daughters in this country. The remark is met with a wry reply noting women here are caught up in the world’s ire and too busy to grow old.
Waterloo boosters secured the 1911 dairy and cattle show from Des Moines after an offers battle. Waterloo presented $1,000 cash $8,000 in prizes and guaranteed expenses with proceeds from the first 1,500 tickets. The event October 9 to 14 will feature the daily show and the creamery exhibit as a major attraction.
Des Moines reports the death of Charles S. Saylor 54 former Polk county superintendent of schools and later government sugar expert with the department of agriculture. He authored several reports on the sugar industry and was working on a new report when illness struck.
Postal clerk Frank J. Rogers, husband of a woman found dead in their home at 1045 West Thirteenth Street, died at Mercy Hospital early Thursday. His death followed his wife’s death by less than thirty six hours.
Humboldt on April 22 reports plans to build a dam across the Des Moines River. The project will supply power to the Northern Roller Mills and the Humboldt Electric Light and Power plant. The expected expenditure exceeds eighty thousand dollars and marks a major local infrastructure effort.
Ames man reports that Professor S. W. Beyer of geology and mining engineering at Iowa State College will succeed the late Professor Calvin at Iowa City.
Gowrie was chosen as the meeting place for the Congregational churches fall session. W A Ramsey of Eldora was selected as delegate to the state conference at Webster City from May 16 to 18.
Davenport April 22 Des Moines is expected to secure the next annual meetings of the Iowa Street and Interurban Association and the Iowa Electrical Association which is already holding its session in Davenport.
Damage suit for 25000 filed by W. E. Shaffer of Iowa Falls against the Chicago and North Western Railway Company is settled out of court with the plaintiff receiving 3700.
Perry April 22 Carl McLuen an engineer with the Milwaukee Railway company is gravely ill at his home from a dose of poison taken in what authorities believe was a personal crisis.
The Cathedral of St John the Divine in New York opened with a grand Episcopal service attended by 26 bishops and 400 clergymen, plus prominent lay figures like Mrs. Taft and Gov and Mrs Dix. The crossing and two chapels were completed, with several chapels still unfinished, and the project budget ranges from 3 to 4 million so far, with a planned total of about 15 million.
Edward F. Croker, chief of the New York City Fire Department, tendered his resignation to take effect May 1. Deputy Chief John Kenton was immediately designated by Vice Commissioner Waldo to serve as acting chief.
Kryzhetsky landscape painter and member of the Russian academy killed himself in a fit of despondency at his home in Saint Petersburg. The artist hanged himself, ending his career in gloom.
Sacramento report says train robber Chris Evans of Evans and Sonntag, infamous in railway crimes, was paroled from Folsom prison after 17 years. Upon hearing the news Evans collapsed.
Dynamite placed under hoarding cars in Frisco yards exploded injuring several Italian section men. Wreckage disrupted service as labor trouble is suspected to have sparked the incident in Villa Grove Illinois.
In Washington the twenty fourth annual D A R congress opens with delegates from across the nation. Mrs Scott faces opposition from Mrs Story who accuses her of oligarchy as 100000 letters push support for dethroning the ruler and her clique. Delegates receive president Taft at the White House with a stormy meeting anticipated.
Jimmy Boyle and wife Helen, confined for kidnapping Willie Whitla, were granted a 30 minute visit in the western Pennsylvania penitentiary. Boyle got life. Helen 25 years. They will meet every three months. attorney moves toward her release as she proclaims love and desire to work for his freedom.
Colonel Roosevelt arrives in New York from seven weeks touring the west. A cheering crowd of nearly 200 follows him to Oyster Bay as he steps from the Chicago train. Roosevelt, with a sun-tanned face, says he feels bully after the westward trip.
New York actress Vina Wray was shot near the Hippodrome stage door by a man seen lingering nearby. The assailant was arrested.
Captain Carron of the French army aviation corps fell from an aircraft stationed at Versailles and was crushed to death when he plunged about twenty five feet to the ground in a fatal accident.
Charles Groves deputy sheriff of Macoupin County Illinois was shot and killed in Springfield after his revolver fell from his pocket and discharged striking his abdomen as he stepped from his buggy shows the line of duty ending in tragedy.
The senate confirmed Walter L. Fisher of Chicago for secretary of the interior with no opposition.
The Mexican government replies to the U S note proposing a cease-fire and talks for peace with the Maderistas. It pledges full cooperation, amnesty, and reform while expressing regret over border fatalities blamed on American filibusters. Rebels evacuate Agua Prieta after 18 hours of combat. federal forces enter with about 1200 troops under Lieut. Col. Reynaldo Diaz. casualties undisclosed.
Edward A Moseley secretary of the Interstate Commerce Commission and originator of labor reform died in Washington after a long illness. He was sixty five. The immediate cause was heart trouble induced by acute kidney disease. An intimate adviser to presidents and many officials his efforts advanced humanitarian and philanthropic aims.
Bloomington man Henry Brown aged ninety two who roomed with Abraham Lincoln while Lincoln practiced law nearby died on his farm. He had many letters written to him by Lincoln.
Lansing legislators pass a resolution by 77 to 19 calling for the impeachment of Marquette prison Warden James Russell. The action was introduced by Representative Straight in a Lansing vote.
Cleveland official S. Gorton and his chauffeur Moges Lee died instantly when a Lake Shore train struck Gorton’s car at West Seventy sixth street.
Fort Worth report notes William Jennings Bryan declines to meet Senator Bailey for a tariff debate despite strong urging from Stalley supporters.
The Iowa general assembly dairy bill is in effect placing all milk sellers and testers under the dairy and food commissioner. Licenses are required for milk dealers and testers with renewals and enforcement to start after July 4. The work expands to new assistants, room allocations at the state house, and upcoming court actions over express tariffs in Davenport.
Iowa state auditor reports insurance company deposits to cover policy reserves rose by about 11 million dollars from April 1909 to April 1911. The figures show April 1 1911 at 43.10 million, April 1 1910 at 38.997 million, and April 1 1909 at 32.881 million, reflecting a strong insurance business under State Auditor Bleakley.
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