California Syrup of Figs The Alternative
A playful dialogue mocks shopping bills and marital debates with a humorous aside about a silent Indy on a $20 gold piece as proof that silence is golden.
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This newspaper page contains 11 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Monticello Express
Location
Monticello, Iowa, United States of America
Date
Apr 10, 1919
Page
7
A playful dialogue mocks shopping bills and marital debates with a humorous aside about a silent Indy on a $20 gold piece as proof that silence is golden.
A wife demands her husband care about her happiness as she powders her nose in public. He reluctantly lets her proceed, then distracts himself by gazing into piano shop windows, while a crowd witnesses the scene. He privately chides himself for neglecting his own business.
A sharp remark targets visitors who offer no purpose, labeling them the dullest chat companions and a drain on social energy.
Colonel Roosevelt, at Oyster Bay, reflects on how the war reshaped his view of religion. He recalls a philosopher’s definition and credits soldiers in the trenches with redefining religion as “betting your life on the existence of God.”
A discussion contrasts Hewitt as a constructive statesman with Jewett noted for building political fences. The speaker argues a man without country lives in a town and points out that few desire what is offered for the asking.
The Thirty-eighth General Assembly advanced a major housing bill regulating dwellings in cities with 15000 plus population and permitted smaller towns to adopt provisions via city ordinances. It also approved a banking oversight measure, dairy labeling laws, a tax levy bill, and a broad recodification plan, while confronting road funding, boxing legality, and suffrage amendments.
An advertisement touts Knowlton's Danderine as a quick fix for dandruff and hair loss. It claims within ten minutes scalp itching ends, and weeks of use yield new, soft, lustrous hair. The pitch urges buying a small bottle at drug stores to achieve fuller, prettier hair.
A playful exchange with talk of baking skills contrasts pie types. It hints at personal talents, noting pies and mince varieties while underscoring wit over culinary craft.
For years druggists note Swamp-Root’s strong record as a kidney liver and bladder medicine. It is presented as a physician’s prescription strengthening remedy sold by all druggists. A sample bottle offer and a request to mention the paper accompany the ad.
The excerpt discusses political beliefs and the spoils system. It cites an Indianapolis Star quote on party shifts after presidents like Andrew Jackson, noting Democrats replacing Republicans when a Democrat wins. It includes a home life quote about unselfishness and jokes about a fish market in a light column style.
In a humorous exchange, Cholly is urged to try fish as a brain food while Miss Kawstick notes he has not been eating. The banter highlights a playful kitchen moment.
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