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Newspaper
Monticello Express
Location
Monticello, Iowa, United States of America
Date
Apr 03, 1913
Page
1
A collection of satirical observations from The Monticello Express touching on baseball season rivalries and quirky international notes. It contrasts U S sports zeal with global trends, jokes about U S finance and agriculture, and jests about political and cultural quirks, ending with a light jab about eagle symbolism.
A demo vehicle in Philadelphia incurred more than 13000 in accident damages as observers watched. The pricey incident leaves the car’s value uncertain after the demonstration.
A quirky sentiment notes that a number of Americans refuse to pay at the box office to see actors who have undergone multiple divorces, highlighting a playful stance on celebrity culture and ticketing norms.
A specialist advises that keeping the mouth closed is the most effective method to prevent snoring and may help avert several related health issues.
A grim note on repeated unloaded pistol incidents questions the effectiveness of the fool killer and calls for a practical helper or caddy to handle the dangerous tools, reflecting on ongoing safety failures.
Two Los Angeles chauffeurs stole thirty-one automobiles in seven months. The observation raises concerns about potential damage if such thieves were unleashed in an auto plant.
A Chicago judge decides that a wife should not ask for money, but the husband must provide support without prompting, reversing the common dynamic where the husband typically asks for funds. The ruling underscores a shift in presumed spousal financial responsibility.
French engineers unveil a device claimed to make cap sizing of an aeroplane nearly impossible. Observers express eagerness to see it demonstrated from the ground and assess its practicality for aviation.
A critique notes the stark pay gap between star performers earning 2500 dollars per night and chorus singers paid 2.50 dollars, highlighting the uneven realities of life for opera vocalists.
A man attempting to woo a girl by boldness claimed to be a train robber. The ruse began with petty larceny as he progressed, but the bold act did not win his target.
A movement is proposed to make the war on flies worldwide. So far the flies hold the advantage in extermination efforts, indicating the crusade requires greater concentration than broad expansion at this stage.
Wurttemberg minister of education blasts altering German names in American schools amid claims the educator has never visited a U S learning institution.
A Chicago court bailiff devises a scheme wearing a bright green uniform to signal delinquency and lure public attention. He plans on squatting at the doorstep to spur prompt payment or triggering a quick ambulance cell.
Massachusetts adviser urges wives not to complain when husbands caress them and muss their hair or gowns. She suggests tasteful responses and discreet manners to accept affectionate attention without fuss.
A western cow with a glass eye loses a quarter of her milk after an eye injury but now yields ten quarts, up from eight, while the animal had previously dropped to four. The owner suggests the incident could boost the glass eye industry among dairying interests.
Mrs. William Stout of Newry county was shot by her husband as she worked in a Danville kitchen. Stout, who had been arrested on her accusation of threats, killed himself in his brother’s barn after leaving a letter criticizing relatives. The tragedy followed divorce actions initiated earlier.
Waterloo man Elias known as The Mysterious Turk acted as a witness for the state in the Gust Bekiares murder trial. Height six feet three inches, he has a distinctive five inch black mustache and created a sensation in court. He previously worked with the same gang linked to Selem Mel, who is dead.
Conductor J A Mc Gonagle, aged longtime Illinois Central man, escaped death after he fell on an icy Parkersburg platform. His foot was caught by the train steps and he was dragged along the platform. He suffered a fractured hip a sprained back and a deep gash over the right eye.
Stock for the new Ellsworth bank to be named the Farmers' State Bank has been sold and the company organized. Officers include Peter Holt as president B H Henderson as vice president H H Sexvold as cashier and directors Peter Bly John Thompson Holden Thompson and Jorgen Olson.
Swedish Lutheran pastors from eleven central Iowa churches in the Des Moines district Iowa Lutheran conference gather in Marshalltown for a three day session. On Wednesday evening the conference will install Rev. C. E. Carlson as pastor of the local church.
The Sioux City Live Stock Exchange special will leave on April 12 for the annual western excursion. Stops will be made at principal towns between Sioux City and the Black Hills and Miles City Montana. Three days will be spent in Miles City where a celebration will be held.
A large barn on the D. J. McGrath farm near Nashua burned to the ground. Four horses, fourteen cattle, twelve hogs, fifty tons of hay, 1 200 bushels of oats and all farm machinery and harness were lost. Estimated total damage exceeds 10 000 dollars.
The Christian church at Morton Mills was totally burned, the building lost to flames. The Rev. O. W. Winter, formerly of Creston, had recently accepted the pastorate there and is said to be sought by the United Baptist church in Villisca.
A pipe organ costing 3000 dollars, partly funded by a Carnegie donation, is installed at the First Baptist Church in Mason City and will be dedicated this week.
Creston Mr and Mrs James Seals informal observance marked their fifty third wedding anniversary on Saturday. Mr Seals is a Civil War veteran.
Fire destroyed the residence of J. L. Gooding in Kellerton. A defective flue caused the blaze. Loss estimated at about $6,000.
A heroic bronze statue of Abraham Lincoln by sculptor George E. Ganiere of Chicago will be unveiled at Webster City High School on April 9 as a memorial gift from Alexander Greves for his son Harry.
Manning residents showed strong support for their volunteer firemen as the recent dance event yielded a 20 unit net for the department. Local organizers reported a lively turnout and credits to the community for the fundraiser's success.
A fire of unknown origin destroyed the William Voulke bakery in Carlisle causing an estimated loss of 74,060 dollars. Nearby structures were threatened and firefighters faced difficulties in preventing spread to adjacent buildings.
Davenport reports the death of Mrs. Ernestine Brandt grandmother of William Zeigler Jr. heir to the Zeigler baking powder millions. She died Friday at age 102.
Ben Hur representatives from Sioux City Mason City Clinton Waterloo Oskaloosa Ottumwa Cedar Rapids Carroll Council Bluffs and Missouri Valley met in Marshalltown to oppose any increase in insurance rates for class A members those entered before 1908 The Iowa group totals 6000 members with 82000 nationwide A fourteen member Towa delegation was chosen to attend an insurgents convention in Indianapolis on April 30.
The Atlantic Northern and Southern line was sold in an auction after Receiver Ed S. Harlan allowed bidders to raise bids before closing. The Leslie M. Shaw syndicate emerged as the top bidder with a total of 293 800 for the entire line.
Nine year old Lloyd Lyons drowned eight miles south of Knoxville while riding a pony with his elder brother. The pony tripped an embankment and plunged into Hickory creek. Fifty neighbors searched the water all night before the body was recovered.
Lorimor residents faced a spree of burglaries with seven business houses entered in one night. Bloodhounds were deployed from Waterloo but foul weather washed out the trail before the tracking dogs arrived.
Facing popular demand and a threat of strike, the Sioux City school board adopts a new salary schedule. Pay for teachers is materially raised in some cases and promotion to higher classes becomes easier.
The People's State Bank, largest in the county by capital and surplus, is partially changing hands. Frank Corey of Kort Dodge and F A Ayers of Lytton arrange for a substantial holding of stock, all previously held by non residents.
Nevada-Electricity plans outline bringing light and power to McCallsburg as the town remains dark. A special election set for March 29 will decide granting a franchise to the Iowa River Light Power company of Eldora.
Creston High School will send representatives to Tarkio College for the annual declamatory contest and athletic carnival in Tarkio Missouri. The meet is scheduled for May 2.
The southwest district convention of the Christian church will be held in Chariton Tuesday Wednesday and Thursday of this week. B S Denny state president of the Iowa Christian convention will preside.
The body of John Morem was found by his son along the road near Wheeler as he returned home. Authorities presume heart disease caused his death after he became ill and lay down.
An 18 day old infant died when children playing with matches set fire to the home of Mrs. Angelo Bartello at Newhill six miles south of Albia. Fire department battled flames as neighbors aided in the emergency.
Grinnell college held a popularity contest and Ruth McGavren was voted the most popular girl. McGavren resides in Missouri Valley.
Amendments filed for record raise the capitalization of the People's Light company from 1.5 million to 2.5 million dollars and the Tri-City Railway company from 3.5 million to 5 million dollars in Davenport.
The Redpath Vawter Chautauqua system fixes Estherville event from July 17 to 25. The company promises superior talent for the SMEOH program and broader appeal.
Night switchman Harry W. McKinnon was fatally injured at Northwestern yards when a switch engine collided with a main line freight. He was pinned under the car for an hour before help arrived.
Burglars rifled safes at Williams Coal company Coyle Coal company and Pedesty Thresher company in Mason City but recovered little loot.
Vienna dispatch reports Adrianople captured by Bulgarian forces after a brutal assault. Shakri Pasha killed himself rather than surrender as fires raged through the city and Bulgarian troops entered the fortress and inner fortifications. The battle was described as the war's most terrible fighting.
Washington reports President Wilson weighs Henry Morgenthau Augustus Thomas Thomas Page and Col Joseph Willard for key diplomatic posts. He regrets rejections of Richard Olney Eliot to London and McCombs to France and will pause further selections until acceptances arrive. Thomas likely bound for Switzerland or Italy.
President Wilson urged the nation to fund ambassadors and ministers sufficiently so poor men may serve abroad after William McCombs declined the Paris ambassadorship citing finances. He noted the $17,500 salary and expert estimate that $25,000 is needed to maintain embassy dignity.
President Wilson and House Ways and Means Chairman Underwood conferred on revised tariff rates as committees face high costs of collecting customs and income taxes. They weigh lowering duties, potential losses to revenue, and how collection costs influence exemptions and final rates amid insular tax considerations.
Miss Virginia Harned formerly Mrs E H Sothern and long a leading woman for Sothern has been Mrs William Courtenay for several months. The New York Rye marriage dinner Monday night revealed the union with the couple declining to disclose the exact date or the officiant. Friends express surprise at the announcement.
Ernest G. Basey and Fred J. Sherman were released from the federal prison in Leavenworth Kansas after serving terms for complicity in the McNamara dynamite conspiracy.
Snow blanketed northwest Texas on a Wednesday storm moving eastward. The unusual fall reached sections already turning green with spring growth, delaying field work in several counties near Dallas.
Philip Musica, a New York hair dealer linked with his father Antonia in a case accusing them of defrauding banks of over 1 million dollars, broke down in New Orleans and confessed on Tuesday.
Drifting in mid ocean after losing her propeller the Caye Romano from Shields England bound for Galveston was rescued by the Bohemian on Tuesday near Halifax Nova Scotia.
Mary Cc Brooks, last female member of EB H Sothern's Our American Cousin cast at Ford Theater the night Lincoln was shot, died Wednesday in Pittsfield Massachusetts.
West Point reports the Army fell to Colgate 3 to 2 in the season opener. Strong rain and darkness halted play after six innings. Colgate secured the win with a late run as the game ended in the sixth inning.
Sir Thomas Lipton was fined 100 in London suburb Chertsey after being arrested for speeding at 46 miles an hour on Wednesday.
London March 26 for the first time in living memory the house of commons sat on Easter Monday. Many members showed their resentment at the curtailed Easter holiday by staying away.
Advices from Belgrade report Djavid Pasha surrendered 15 000 Turkish troops to the Servians on the Skumbi river in eastern Albania Monday evening. The surrender follows military operations near the Skumbi line as tensions in the region continue.
London reports Lady Dorothy Nevill, renowned author, dies after several days illness at her home in Berkley Square She would have turned eighty seven on March 31 Other items note Sam McVey draw with Sam Langford in Brisbane and a March 26 to 27 wire service roundup
Lieutenant Clark of the Indian Army Medical Department was hanged in Allahabad on a Wednesday morning for the murder of Mr. Fulham an examiner of military accounts.
Governor Cepeda of the federal district was arrested by order of President Huerta and held incommunicado at the national palace in Mexico City on a Wednesday. No reason was given.
Twelve firemen were severely hurt and damage estimated at $100,000 occurred at the Union Abattoir company in Baltimore's southwestern section Monday night.
In Naco Arizona on March 26 a federal garrison of 350 men led by Colonel Moreno held an old packing plant against hours of assault by state troops on Monday afternoon.
Springfield March 28 On the fifteenth ballot in the joint session James Hamilton Lewis Democrat won the six year senator term while Lawrence Sherman Republican captured the Lorimer vacancy on the fourteenth ballot The result followed a Republican Democrat cross party plan backed by Governor Dunne and a large majority of both parties ending the prolonged impasse
A wireless report says the Swedish steamer Texas of the Norway Mexico and Gulf line was disabled and her 43 passengers transferred at sea. The Norwegian bark Rimao was becalmed with seven vessels nearby and the Harfleur sent a boatload of provisions. The Rimac captain said they had been on short rations for over a month. Four distressed vessels received aid at Mobile.
Willis L. Moore, chief of the Weather Bureau since 1896, will cease forecasts after July 21. Prof. Charles W. Dabney of the University of Cincinnati is expected to succeed him.
New York report states Professor Frederick Ostrander, a language teacher, died Tuesday following inoculation by Doctor Friedmann at Bellevue Hospital on March 21 for tuberculosis of the lungs kidney and bladder.
Greensboro South Carolina March 27 John Armstrong manager of George Goulds hunting preserve near Greensboro was shot and probably fatally wounded by Bert English during an argument over a lease Tuesday.
London March 27 Sir Thomas Lipton, disappointed by the New York Yacht Club's denial to reopen the challenge, stated on Tuesday that he may bid again for the America's Cup.
Albany March 27 The New York Senate without opposition passed Stilwell stock exchange reform bills aimed at preventing reporting and publication of fictitious securities transactions.
In Louisville Kentucky on March 27 the game between the Athletics and Colonels was postponed due to rain. The Athletics may be unable to depart for Indianapolis because of additional washouts.
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