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Newspaper
Montezuma Enterprise
Location
Montezuma, Indiana, United States of America
Date
Sep 16, 1915
Page
3
A brief humorous exchange on public access to oceans, followed by a joke about a seashore summer hotel. The Latest item then pokes fun at a new flat with odd features namely a folding stove and a built-in piano.
A lifeguard reports a difficult rescue with a swimmer saying it was a hard swim. The rescued woman remains calm and asks the guard to fetch her bathing cap from the water.
The dialogue features a witty exchange about a loan described as stylish and V-shaped. It plays on wordplay to hint at a clever financial arrangement without detailing terms or figures.
The London Chronicle notes Mr Beecham calling music at meals a nuisance while Michael Mail recalls a Three Choughs dinner in Casterbridge. He narrates a brass band in the street and his teeth chewing to the tune of six eight time as he eats fried liver and lights.
A sharp critic notes a stingy man who hoards useful items and pretends to practice generosity. The piece mocks the idea of charity by withholding or misusing donations, highlighting the gap between intent and impact.
Ad notes White clothes can be made bright with Red Cross Ball Blue, recommended by grocers. A brief promotional message emphasizes the product’s stain removal and whitening effect.
A proverb notes that the ability to hold one s tongue can sidetrack much trouble and avert conflicts, praising restraint and discretion in speech.
A witty prose line notes that many girls act pretentiously, especially in their display of purity, suggesting social expectations shape behavior and reputations.
The National Association for the Study and Prevention of Tuberculosis will hold sectional conferences in Indianapolis El Paso Columbia Springfield and Albany to discuss munition and carrying on the war against tuberculosis. The Indianapolis Mississippi Valley conference runs Sept 29 to Oct 1 and covers many Midwest and Plains states. The El Paso Southwestern Health Conference runs Sept 27 to Oct 1 and includes Texas Oklahoma New Mexico Arizona California Nevada Utah and Colorado.
A jobless stenographer and a friend discuss rehabing finances. The friend says to write a money letter, which the stenographer has already done. The twist is the letter is ready to mail but no recipient is found.
A parish reader reports a front line joke about a son who fought in trenches standing up to his neck in water for a week. His mother wryly notes his water fear at home contrasting wartime hardship with peacetime habits.
An advertising fragment extols Postum as a healthful coffee alternative. A Topeka man credits coffee with illness and says switching to Postum improved his headaches and bilious symptoms. The copy promotes Postum cereal and Instant Postum with price points and retailer availability.
A light moment in a family scene turns toward humor as a remark about a woman’s age prompts the quip that she is not as old as her youngest daughter. The exchange highlights the playful dynamic within the group.
A reflective verse remark notes that happiness depends on food and daily living, pairing themes of sorrow and joy. The lines reflect a somber but hopeful view on nourishment shaping human well being.
A freshman seeks advice from a sophomore about weakness in geometry. The sophomore suggests track work, rowing, and hammer throwing as remedies, then realizes the real issue is geometry rather than physical strength. The humorous exchange highlights campus stereotypes and different paths to improvement.
A boarding house keeper explains meat rations are cut to half after three of her star meat consumers fall in love. The butcher asks if boarders are leaving. the keeper answers no, noting the romantic situation among patrons.
Gyer claims the opposite of common sense with a quirky line about a curiosity school led by a male president. The exchange hints at a playful, possibly satirical remark on women’s education in a quaint setting.
A sharp conversation mocks a wealthy spouse over vanity and reflection. One speaker claims the wife spends little time in thought, while another quips her boudoir is lined with looking glasses, signaling vanity and excess.
A dialogue notes a landscape once rich and varied now dominated by billboards. Advertisements on the billboards change about once a month, with the overall scene described as cor set advertisements, to say the least, humorous.
A witty dialogue contrasts the length of a painting with its value. One speaker boasts two decades spent on the work, while another downplays size, arguing art’s worth isn’t measured by dimensions. A final quip notes money as the rare exception where size matters.
Frances asks about the lip quiver while Arthur jokes it belonged to Cupid's bow in a playful exchange. The brief vignette captures flirtatious mood through witty dialogue.
A mother sits at her place and unintentionally jars a tooth from her face in a comic domestic scene. She retains her hair as it was upstairs and not within reach, adding a crusty twist to the incident.
The widow recalls Mike as a disappointed man and the neighbor questions his words. She says his aim was that one of his eight daughters would someday marry well, but he did not live to see that day.
A cheerful optimist proclaims the power of optimism while a disillusioned man recalls investing in mining stock and failing to realize gains. The exchange contrasts buoyancy with caution in financial risk.
A tipsy guest notes that the butler, seen gathering wine bottles, holds a government position. He adds that the man is a collector of the port, prompting amused discussion by the host and bystanders.
Bilkins jokes that the millionaire merchant Duffer is less capable than a low paid clerk. Milkins quips that if he did know more he’d be such a clerk. Then a caller asks about suing a tailor for late trousers. The punchline is breeches of promise.
A brief exchange humorously contrasts a woman dressing well on a modest sum with a man’s wife dressing on the same budget, highlighting the shared punchline that expense can outpace income.
In a witty theater column, writers discuss recent hat trends and the shifting fashion scene. The piece notes how hats once admired now provoke mixed reactions during performances and stage appearances.
Brief excerpt notes that the young Jiggsby’s erratic temperament may stem from his lineage. It cites his mother as a grand opera singer and his father as a left-handed pitcher as possible influences on temperament.
Citizens debate a proposed ordinance on dimming brilliant lamps on automobiles. The playful exchange reflects concern over traffic safety and local governance.
A reader cites two pieces of counsel: Do it now and do not worry about the heat. The remarks present practical prompts urging immediate action despite pressure or discomfort.
A couple quotes a wife asking how many attended a mass meeting and the man replies fourteen. The exchange presents a compact, wry vignette of political or social gathering dynamics.
A sharp exchange reveals one woman resents idle men around her while another notes the speaker's constant busyness. The dialog hints at social friction and differing views on entertainment and company.
Miss Cayenne notes that a speaker, while possessing strong language, should not always hold it in restraint. The exchange highlights the tension between eloquence and control in public discourse.
The stenographer tells the boss she wants a raise while the cashier says the boss would be foolish to grant it. The stenographer notes the boss’s implied approval if she asks again, highlighting workplace salary tension in a witty exchange.
A fragment suggests a speaker cites intuition as a force that convinces a woman her husband is lying when he returns at 2 a.m. and starts explaining the reasons. The line uses colloquial speech to hint at suspicion and storytelling.
A fragment notes a wife whose husband has deserted her and onlookers observe she is “having a cool time” across the way, with a wry tone about the situation and social norms of the period.
Letters from five women describe relief from severe female troubles without surgery after using Lydia E Pinkham's Vegetable Compound. Mrs Haywarp Sowers of Hodgdon Maine and others from Kentucky Pennsylvania Indiana Ohio report back pain, irregularity, and said operations were avoided or canceled.
An officer finds the guardroom empty except for a private in shirtsleeves puffing a pipe He asks for the sergeant and sentries and learns the private is the prisoner Ready of the day confirms the situation with a calm misdirection.
A promotional notice claims a hot bath with Cuticura Soap and gentle Cuticura Ointment relieves eczema rashes itching and irritations in infants and children even in severe cases. Sample offered by mail with a book by sending a postcard to Cuticura Dept. XY Boston. Sold everywhere.
A lady negotiates a carriage hire with a liveryman. The rate is two dollars for the first hour and one dollar for each additional hour. She opts to skip the first hour and use the extra two hours for shopping.
An old advertisement promotes GROVE'S TASTELESS CHILL TONIC claiming quinine kills malaria and iron builds up the system. The label notes quinine and iron in a tasteless form priced at 50 cents with regional distribution in North and South America.
An advertisement asserts Denison's Coffee pleases all, repeating the claim. A separate line notes there are over 300 female blacksmiths in England.
The article stresses keeping cream cans shaded from sun during transport to prevent spoilage. It notes wrapping with wet burlap can drop cream temperature by up to twenty degrees, showing jacketed cans are unnecessary for value preservation.
A brief dialogue notes someone chiding another for nerve to cant while the responder dismisses it as mere banter. The exchange highlights old world social etiquette and wit in a compact humorous snippet.
An advertisement urges housewives to use Red Cross Ball Blue in all grocers to brighten laundry and achieve pristine white clothes.
A concise adage notes that effort to persuade a mule may fail due to inherent stubbornness. The remark underscores patience and pragmatism in dealing with obstinate behavior.
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