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Newspaper
Montezuma Enterprise
Location
Montezuma, Indiana, United States of America
Date
Mar 02, 1916
Page
2
A promotional notice extols drinking hot water with limestone phosphate each morning before breakfast to cleanse the stomach liver kidneys and bowels. It claims the regimen improves mood energy sleep and overall health, urging readers to try the inexpensive tonic as a daily cleanse.
Radio operators are enlisting in large numbers in bel ligerent nations. Britain reports over 5250 radio operators joining the navy with personnel serving on warships earning top honors including the Victoria Cross, the Legion of Honor cross, and four Distinguished Conduct Medals.
Mr J M Sinclair of Olivehill Tennessee writes of four years of back pain kidney weakness and bladder inflammation then diabetes and heart trouble. He says Dodds Kidney Pills cured him and adds Diamond Dinner Tablets cured constipation. Adv for Dodds Medicine Co Buffalo NY 50c per box.
A small town minister famed for sententiousness is asked by a passerby how to find the sheriff. He replies in a sharp quip telling him to spend more than he earns, then walks on, leaving the man puzzled. The anecdote echoes Harper's Magazine humor.
An old advertisement touts Cuticura products for pimples redness and rough skin. It claims cleansing pores with Cuticura Soap and Ointment prevents clogging and invites readers to request a free sample by mailing a postcard to Cuticura Dept L Boston.
A fragmentary dialogue suggests a wife confesses her husband’s wish to become an aviator is a painful trial. The excerpt uses old fashioned phrasing to frame a tension between aspiration and domestic life.
Fragmentary ad offering a DIY hair dye using Bay Rum and Barbe Compound. Instructions suggest applying twice a week after bed to darken hair, with mention of home mixing at a low cost. Details are unclear and partly garbled.
The fragment suggests debate over whether a notion or policy will eventually prevail as people express skepticism about its success. The text contains partial phrases about doubt and eventual acceptance without clear subjects or events.
On the eve of his marriage to Madeleine Forster, Harry Grant fears a missing best man as Jim Bennett quietly meddles. The wedding proceeds at nine with no attendants, while Jim’s awkward interference and a missing watch threaten the ceremony’s timing before the Mendelssohn procession marks a hopeful finish.
A discussion explains level as a line at right angles to a perpendicular that passes through the earth’s center. It argues the level line follows the earth’s natural curvature and notes a theoretical one mile rod resting on still water would rise at ends if the middle touched the water.
A tame robin joined a Highland church service, entering before the hymn and remaining near pews. It perched on the pulpit brackets and reading desk, watching the minister as the congregation sang, and even seemed to join in with cheerful chirping during hymns.
A bricklayer’s laborer on New Year’s Eve eyed a fifteen pound turkey at a poultry shop and, after weighing coins in his pocket, attempted to leave with the bird. The shopman, busy, offered no objection until the man walked out with the turkey unswung.
at the pearly gate St Peter questions a faithful wife. she recalls thirty years of marriage and always laughing at her husband’s dinner party jokes. her forbearance earns her admittance and a saintly compliment on her life.
Mrs Green complains to a neighbor that her new refrigerator wastes money as it fails to keep food cold. The neighbor asks if she uses enough ice, prompting the witty reply that they spent money on a fridge not ice.
A beggar pleads for money for his sick wife while a merchant accuses him of fraud. The man admits to previously taking 50 cents to bury a wife who had just died, then asserts this is his second wife who is ill. The exchange reveals a recurring scam claim and a harsh denial from the merchant.
Muted exchange in Fayette table as Miss Fayette reacts to Jack’s proposal and Miss Blunt comments that his behavior was foolish. The brief dialogue captures social flirting and playful reproach without further context.
A playful exchange about children asking embarrassing questions and a mother’s candid response. The speaker notes the kids resemble their mother in curiosity and mischief, highlighting family humor.
A prudent man named William Mars is described as traveling mostly on foot. He would seek a motor car only after careful consideration before crossing streets.
In a courtroom dialogue Bess and Jack exchange flustered lines about a confession from last night. The judge presides as Bess asks for clarification and Jack acknowledges the unexpected remark. The exchange hints at a developing personal tension amid the formal setting.
A terse remark references a rare 1790 coin with a jab about spending it when it was new and a brief aside about froth.
Junior praises his partner as a wonderful dancer and names two faults. Soph briskly retreats: her feet are the two flaws.
A quoted exchange speaks of a man who helped a person in need by giving "all he could" without money, described as "thirty days" in the past encounter. The line captures a gesture of generosity and its noted duration.
A humorous verse laments a grippe germ with a dull intellect and bad temper. The piece satirically portrays illness as a stubborn, unkind invader and reflects early 20th century attitudes toward disease.
A hobo disputes a lady's assumption about his drinking. He admits drinking is one of his greatest successes, while the kind old woman offers him pennies to illustrate appearances can deceive. The dialogue reveals a humorous moral about perception and self awareness.
In this exchange a speaker praises specialists while another reveals a memory trainer whose fare is teaching people to remember. The humor rests on the trope of standards and payment, as the trainer notes clients forget to pay after lessons.
In a playful exchange Blondine questions Gerty Giddigad’s popularity as Brunetta notes she has many callers. The ladies wonder if the callers are gentleman friends or installment agents, highlighting a lighthearted social moment.
Grace loves whist and jokes that her speech impediment delays her playmaking. Harry asks why she isn’t quick to ask about trump, and she responds that by the time she can speak, the situation has shifted.
Dialogue in dialect recounts a dramatic moment as Pat asks Mork if a lover was struck by lightning and Mike confirms tragedy while reflecting on long marriage and shared life.
Village quarrel centers on Griggsby with one resident calling him selfish while another defends him stating he donates worn clothes to the poor when his valet can no longer wear them. The exchange highlights local perceptions of charity and class.
A commentator praises Diggs for remarkable endurance and stamina, noting his longevity and constitution as a social debutante-like figure. The remarks highlight admiration for his sustained performance and strong spirit.
Mrs Nagegs declares the marriage a mistake after a long argument. Mr Naggs concedes that friends warned him, though he did not believe them.
A fragmentary exchange shows Mrs Boozem-John accusing her partner of being drunk and recounting a domestic scene. The dialogue mentions careful behavior last night and the pair's odd lodging arrangement with clothes in bed and a wardrobe.
A Munich note excerpts Meg Gendorfer Blaetter discussing a Paris style hat. The debate centers on patriotism and originality with claims the design could not be copied.
A humorous dialogue shows Miss Rather asking if men like intelligent women and Miss Clever replying men prefer enough intelligence to avoid displaying ignorance, with a witty retort about restraint.
Gardeners in Flatbush report success using electric lights to force vegetable growth. Bensonhurst notes this method can help seeds sprout before hens crow in the morning.
Fragments show casual chat about purchases and needing another item for a husband, suggesting a light local shopper’s note or gossip column snippet. The tone hints at domestic routines and small everyday exchanges.
A teacher asks children about a house open to all including the poor and rich and young. A small boy answers Yes, the station house, triggering a street‑level exchange about inclusive spaces.
An editor reviews a claimed Jon Millar vintage joke and returns it with a sharp remark. The humorist, distracted by the exchange, departs in silence toward unknown paths.
An old label promotes Grove's Tasteless Chill Tonic as a malaria remedy and iron supplement. The ad emphasizes quinine for malaria and iron to build up the system, priced at 50 cents.
A saying highlights the value of humility across generations. It contrasts a young person who recognizes gaps in knowledge with an elder who has broader, accrued wisdom. The line emphasizes respect for parental guidance.
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