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Newspaper
Montezuma Enterprise
Location
Montezuma, Indiana, United States of America
Date
Apr 20, 1916
Page
3
The Skinner Manufacturing Company in Omaha, United States, operates the largest macaroni factory in America, producing egg noodles and other pasta products for national distribution.
Percival Claude is presented to a pretty girl at a dance and they share ice cream and cake. She asks if he has married and he says he will marry only a woman who is his direct opposite. She hints many intelligent girls exist in town. Exchange joke notes a light smoker weighs 110 pounds.
A dry goods clerk recalls attending a theater last night and describes a melodrama. A stenographer asks about the plot while a yardstick worker adds the last scene included burglars at a kitchen window as the clock strikes one. The athletic boarder asks which clock time was referenced.
A wry exchange frames a doctor’s return as the cure for homesickness. The humor rests on the idea that the sole patient was the doctor himself, home and healthy again after a stint away.
An elderly knitting parishioner sat through a lengthy lecture while most of the audience left. She told the orator she enjoyed his efforts to enlighten the community and thanked him.
A father questions Johnny about his mother as the boy deflects with a blunt home scene. Johnny claims his mother is outside in the yard sharpening a pencil with a whittling stunt, implying a mundane domestic moment.
A brief exchange questions the draw of air shows and replies that gravity itself is the impetus. The pun frames spectatorship as a gravity metaphor for flight and motion.
A brief call to action argues that women should vote without delay and that delay allows men to dominate political talks, urging immediate participation and breaking traditional restraint.
London Punch notes a humorous exchange with a horse dealer and a prospective customer. The dealer extols the animal while the buyer quips about the horse’s legs, reflecting playful wit and social satire of vendors and buyers in that era.
In a household joke, Mrs Flatbush notes a New Jersey woman kept using a rolling pin for forty years, prompting Mr Flatbush to joke about one husband. A spinster retorts about a ten month old baby, claiming she could manage solo by six months, and the mother fires back that she has been managing alone since.
A humorous remark notes Vanessa's marriage removes her from a social circle as the new husband is not a dancer or bridge player, prompting curiosity about the couple's place in society.
A dialogue notes a planned allegorical ball about Care. One character questions dressing with care while the other rejects sartorial effort, citing Care has a raveled sleeve. The exchange hints at whimsy and metaphor in a literary scene.
Dialogues reveal a playful exchange where one speaker asks about a conversation with a deaf friend and corrects that the interaction was hand made. The banter centers on miscommunication and affectionate humor between the speakers.
A young man asks if he will go bald by forty. The doctor bluntly answers that a fatal automobile accident might prevent baldness by removing the head entirely, delivering a darkly ironic twist.
A wife asks about a new novel and discovers the hero marries the heroine for a happy ending. The husband quips that it ends before they get divorced, highlighting a dry humor about conventional romance narratives.
A compact, period tone piece contrasts worldly duties with modern travel. It hints at varied burdens from driving to road repair, noting some must haul heavy loads to fix infrastructure while others ride freely. The piece uses vivid, observational phrasing typical of an urban vignette.
A courtroom exchange reveals a witness misstatement about marital status. The attorney questions the witness about being single and the witness clarifies he is not single because he is one of twins.
A humor piece notes residents read automobile catalogs to keep posted on car matters and understand jokes. The scene shows a passerby asking about the catalog while another remarks on the need to follow auto prices.
A former mistress praises Norah citing court remarks that helped secure her divorce. The exchange hints at hidden romantic ties and legal actions connected to Norah’s influence.
Rounder asks if a husband and wife share identical thoughts and Jaggsby agrees, noting his wife already knows what she will say and he does too. The exchange highlights synchronized thinking between spouses.
A tipsy party is singing in a car when a stern officer mandates quiet or requests accompaniment. The exchange ends with the party agreeing to hum a tune before leaving together.
A humorous exchange in which Mrs Flatbush jokes that a man weighing 150 pounds contains enough grease to make 75 candles and a pound of soap. Mr Flatbush responds with a quip praising the marriage choice.
A terse exchange recounts a minister confronting his son about being seen in a saloon. The father scolds the son for lack of propriety, while the son responds with a guarded remark, reflecting family tension and social expectations of conduct.
A courteous apology is offered after an accidental footstep. The respondent replies with a witty line about a centipede and coins on every toe, implying forgiving humor rather than offense. The exchange reveals a light, quippy resolution to a minor social slip.
A brief quip on widow remarriage following a man’s death in Hin dustan. The joke contrasts cremation with remarriage for a rich and pretty widow, framed as a punchline about American widowhood.
A drummer asks if a stenographer belongs to the union. The merchant replies she is not in the union now but plans to marry next month.
W R Layton, greenhouse overseer at Kansas State Agricultural College, stresses training young trees to grow straight and well proportioned. Wind and ice can bend trees. rapid growers like maples and cottonwood straighten less reliably than slower growers such as oaks and pines. Methods include staking with a strap, wire netting around the base, and trellis frames to protect and train young trees in park settings.
The U S Department of Agriculture outlines best pruning times and methods for grapevines in dormancy. Prune from November to March, finish at least 10 days before growth resumes, and shape first year wood to direct growth into a strong trunk cane.
A concentrated lime-sulphur wash for dormant spray is prepared by diluting one gallon of concentrate with ten gallons of water. The text also provides a home-made formula using 80 pounds sulfur, 40 pounds best stone lime, and 50 gallons water.
Letters from several women in Wisconsin Michigan and Pennsylvania describe relief from female ailments and avoidance of surgery after using Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound and related products. The notices urge readers to seek guidance from the Pinkham company and emphasize confidential, woman-to-woman correspondence.
An aged man of eighty four marries a girl of about fifteen. The clergyman points to the font, and the error creates a comic misunderstanding. The minister explains he believed the ceremony involved christening the child, not marriage.
A brief note reports dangerous currents as multiple men risked crossing a shallow area described as risky. Rescue crews warn that shallow does not guarantee safety and urge caution near the water.
A health appeal asserts thousands of women suffer from ailments specific to women and can be helped by Dr Pierce's Favorite Prescription. The remedy, claimed to come from roots and herbs, is promoted as a temperance tonic to relieve irregularities, irritability, and weakness, available in liquid or tablet form today.
A Boston Transcript joke has a mother explaining to her daughter Marjorie that she is now the baby's aunt and the father is the uncle, while Marjorie asks if the arrangement happened quickly. The humor rests on a child’s literal take on family titles.
An advertisement touts Dr. Pierce's Pellets as the best remedy for liver, bowels and stomach with one pellet as laxative and three as cathartic. It also claims a woman’s dearest friend speaks hard truths to her.
A concise note describes a laundress praising 38 Ball Blue starch for its clarity and whiteness. The product is advertised as available through grocers nationwide, highlighting its popularity among shoppers.
A vague delay unsettles the promoter, causing confidence to waver and plans to stall. The article notes patience wearing thin as expectations mount amid postponed steps and lingering uncertainty about the venture’s viability.
A Washington woman confides to a friend that her second husband is extremely fastidious and rarely eats. She notes her first husband died after eating everything she cooked, and when asked if she told her current husband, she says she did, implying his fussiness.
The mikado of Japan plans a three million dollar hotel on imperial ground in Tokyo. A bore is defined as a man who has nothing to say and proceeds to say it.
Doctor Pierce of the Invalids' Hotel Buffalo N Y presents Anuric as a rapid eliminator of uric acid. Experiments claim relief from backache scalding urine frequent urination and urinary sediment as well as rheumatism gravel and gout. Send 10c for a large trial package and 50c for full treatment. available at all druggists.
A farmer declines a salesman offer for Knowitall’s encyclopedia saying he must read forty seven volumes of agricultural reports his congressman sent last winter before tackling anything else. The exchange shows the farmer prioritizing field materials over a general reference set.
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