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This newspaper page contains 34 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Mitchell Capital
Location
Mitchell, South Dakota, United States of America
Date
Dec 26, 1902
Page
7
A man describes being shuffled through six store sections for each item, sent up and down stairs and across aisles. His companion calls it a deliberate advertising scheme to showcase stock, guiding a shopper on a tour to view goods in every department. The exchange cites a New York Herald remark.
Readers are invited to form as many words as possible using only the letters ABCDEFGHIINKLM NOPQRSTUVWXYZ with each word not using any letter more than eight times. Prizes include a porterhouse steak inlaid with turquoises, an elastic glass bottle, and a pound of medicated pastry. guesses must include a coupon from a government bond.
The ancient Egyptians divided day and night into twelve hours a system adopted by Jews and Greeks from Babylonians. Early Rome used public errors to mark time before water clocks. Wax candles measured an hour in medieval England. Mechanical clocks appeared around AD 1250.
The exchange features Sir Henry Holland and Sydney Smith debating medicine and law. Smith jokes about whether a physician should “prescribe for pheasants,” then contends that the law cannot make angels of men, prompting Holland’s agreement.
Elizabeth Cady Stanton counseled a room of young men to marry a woman with a spine and teeth. A listener asked if such brides ever come without spines, prompting fresh humor in the village gathering.
A discussion notes that Latin pronunciation taught by modern methods offers no cue to English derivatives, contributing to rising bad spelling. An accompanying overheard vignette from the Garden of Eden features Eve taunting Adam before tears reveal nature’s handicap.
A sharp remark from the wife questions the idea of a perfect woman. The husband admits he would growl if nothing to growl about, revealing tension in their marriage and a wry comfort with imperfection.
A Cleveland Plain Dealer wedding anecdote recalls a suitor asking for consent and a surprising answer. The father reportedly told the suitor he could have both the bride and her sister, humorously framing a humorous family moment.
A Washington Star quote contrasts poverty with fashion, as a young woman defends poverty and Mrs. Camrocks calls it unfashionable yet not disgraceful. The note then asserts Damascus as the world’s oldest city, with Benares and Constantinople following in age excluding Chinese towns.
The San Francisco Bulletin discusses how a widow, with experience and realism, understands men and love better than a spinster. A widow can patiently outmaneuver and please a husband, while a bright young widow may pursue him, but escape is difficult.
Luigi Villari notes Italy’s fashionable season runs from Christmas to Easter with a summer interlude. In towns, upper class men rarely wear evening dress except for parties while a black coat suffices for most occasions. Court events and weddings call for dress clothes, and women wear hats at theaters with prominent daytime jewelry. The aristocracy display grand jewels even in small towns. the tall hat marks marriages, funerals, and court, worn by young men when calling. Bourgeoisie mostly skip evening wear.
Lord Palmerston faces a fierce attack by Lord Derby in the upper house yet survives with strong defense and broad public support. The next day in a corridor they exchange a courteous quip, praising each other’s cleverness and honor.
A clerk asks for weekly payment instead of monthly wages, arguing this would prevent lumbago from carrying home their pay. Mr Skinflint questions the need, while the spokesman insists timely weekly pay avoids backache.
The Landes marshes in southwestern France see daily markets reached on long stilts. Groups of young men and women move across the ditches pools and hammocks, stilts proving essential for traversal.
A Cleveland Plain Dealer item quotes a person declaring they have completely cured chronic insomnia. They describe the relief of finally sleeping, noting long nights of suffering are a memory and expressing the relief felt after the cure.
A fragment from the Chicago Record-Herald notes a claim of royal descent. It recalls a grandfather who achieved wealth and earned the nickname poker king of White Horse Flats, illustrating social ascent through fortune.
The article notes granite is the sole common rock without any signs of animal or plant life, highlighting its unique mineral composition and longevity in geological history.
The piece notes that as children age from twelve, humor becomes more impersonal with fewer self-centered jokes. Girls quote refined adult humor and show timidity from home training to be ladylike, while boys use teasing to frighten their sisters. A boy’s twelve year old example shows mixed clauses and a prank with firecrackers frightening a lady, cited from Century.
The article explains that a score equals twenty, tied to counting by body parts and notched sticks. It traces the term to tally sticks used for accounts in medieval inns and exchequer receipts, noting four chalk marks and one across-five make twenty in inns where scores are kept on slate.
The shah of Persia in France avoided a tooth extraction after the dentist arrived. He declared a tooth must be removed from each of his suits yet found no one willing to be operated on. Only the grand vizier stayed, earning praise for enduring discomfort for the sovereign. The shah dismissed the dentist with a gift.
In a humorous recount from a New York Times piece, three women describe odd domestic incidents in their homes. One maid locked a woman in a bathroom and fled. A green cook boiled no watermelon. The third explains teaching a helper to wash windows from a fifth floor sill, only to find her washing the inside while dangling feet into the street.
A method explains inserting an iron ball inside a sand core shaped like the bell interior. The core is placed in the mold and molten metal fills the gap, burning away the core and leaving the ball inside the finished bell. The same technique is used for ball valves and swivel joints.
Description highlights white walls over a mile in circumference enclosing temples public offices seraglios stables a sacred elephant army accommodations and a grand theater where English French and German troupes perform for the royal household noting the king's fondness for the arts.
A couple discusses admitting fault after a mistake. Bilks notes his agreement to acknowledge errors, while Bilks questions pointing out his wife’s faults. He concedes that she would still be reluctant to be told she is in error.
In a Buarton transcript the talk centers on Kitty-Constance wearing a diamond ring on her engagement finger. Some say she is fooling others, while she insists the engagement is real and she described it to a confidant. The surprise twist is the fiancé, her dentist, prompting town chatter.
Weather prevented the teachers meeting at Wthan last Saturday. The State Educational Association convenes in Mitchell next week, starting Monday evening and ending Wednesday night.
A missionary in southern China mispronounces a Chinese word for chicken as a demand to buy a wife. The cook, believing the command proper, searches all day for a wife and returns with a proposal offering a wife for $40. The tale highlights miscommunication and cultural misunderstandings on a missionary trip.
The London Standard reports Captain Kennedy recalling a method proposed by Dr Ling to quench thirst by dipping clothing in salt water and applying it without wringing. Surviving crew members who tried the practice found thirst relief quickly, while four who refused and drank salt water died after delirium.
The Stebbins surname, once a classic human tie to St. Steven the first Christian martyr, is misused by many today. Steven is Dutch, Esteban Spanish, Steban a variant. Stebbins fears degradation as noble names fade to common forms.
Jinks notes Smith has no inheritance but greatly increased debts. Binks questions Smith's support. Jinks answers he is living on an enlarged inheritance. The exchange reflects tension over family legacy and finances.
The National Education commissioners report that they provided places for 897,408 pupils in the past year. Average attendance rose to 478,224, an increase of 3,807 from 1900 figures.
Residents describe Tomson Johnson as lacking ability of any kind while noting Jackson Nonsense remarks about his borrowing requests. The exchange highlights a humorous misperception of skill and opportunity in social discourse.
An angry husband remarks the fools are not all dead yet while his partner replies in calm fashion that she never looked good in black. The remark appears in the Chicago News as a wry exchange.
Thomas C. Boyd, sixty two, of Chicago, has just graduated from a local law school and hopes to build a career through strenuous work.
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