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Newspaper
Millheim Journal
Location
Millheim, Pennsylvania, United States of America
Date
Jan 25, 1883
Page
4
A miscellany of frugal home projects, from cotton flannel mittens for washday to pieced quilts and buffalo robe substitutes. Also recipes for stuffed birds, modern book-cases, ornamented panels, and tips on washing, framing, and heating appliances. Includes decorative textiles, furniture touches, and new multipurpose chairs for invalids.
During New Orleans carnival week a jolly song brother, returning home, tries to whistle for a key. He encounters a quarrel at a window, receives a wash basin on the head, and a shrieking woman scolds him for his late arrival. The tale ends with the singer bemused by the mishap.
A Utah reader notes a humorous scene in a lecture where a tired man testily suggests two sides to the hall and steps out to verify an outside. The crowd follows with mixed sympathy and moral bravery. Also a medical claim cites St Jacob's Oil as a remedy for rheumatic chest and shoulder pain at the Union Depot Hotel in Ogden.
A benevolent man in New Haven slips a dime to a barefoot child noting nature’s neglect of the poor. The page also advertises Kidney-Wort as a cure for ailments like dyspepsia and malaria and promotes a line of dyes in multiple colors.
An advertisement extols Hop Bitters as a lasting cure for kidney and urinary ailments including Bright's Disease Diabetes and liver troubles. It urges readers to verify results at home with testimonials from neighbors. A separate note then recounts a Kensington Vestry Hall incident where a young dandy flirts with a man at the doorway and is told the man is Gunter's head waiter.
An irregular passage pairs a medical testimonial praising Mrs. Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound with a whimsical aside about a young lady painting pansies on an egg. The fragment ends by hinting at a new scheme and inviting someone to "come over the garden wall" this evening.
John Sabina, Counselor at Law of Broadway New York, gives special attention to collection of claims against Produce and Commission dealers.
A discussion recounts Brown’s failed bid at an auction shop. Smith notes Brown is in trouble while Fogg confirms Brown offered to take a silver pitcher for nothing and the Sheriff intervened.
The ad touts Ferro-Phosphorated Elixir of Calisaya as a top tonic for dyspepsia low mood and debility and a preventive for fever and ague. It also includes humorous exchanges about eating a lark and a remark on choosing a life partner, plus a note on Lyon's Patent Heel Stiffener.
A friend recalled Dickens praising a socially awkward sculptor for his skill. The humorist quipped that the man "always cuts a pretty figure" despite his awkwardness.
A traveler asks why a Kentucky bartender calls a whiskey the Horn of Plenty. The reply jokes that it will corn you copiously, signaling the drink’s potent nature in a tongue in cheek exchange.
A landlady counsels her new servant to inform boarders of bad news before dinner to affect meals over a year. A druggist is urged to act quickly with a cough cure, implying Dr Bull's Cough Syrup as a profitable option.
A St. Louis father presents his son-in-law with eighty thousand head of cattle. The daughter exclaims that Charley enjoys ox-tail soup, calling the gift kind and generous.
A letter from Callier in Calliersville Chilton County Alabama dated May 15 1878 reports a daughter suffering nasal catarrh bladder and kidney troubles and scrofulous diathesis found relief after using Vegetine. The writer says he sought eminent physicians in Selma before trying the remedy and declares the result a simple act of justice not advertising.
Griggsville letter from July 30 1878 praises Vrgetinke for lever disease relief. Mary Kneeland states after partial use she felt great benefit and endorses the medicine over others. The note requests spread of valuable information and is signed sincerely.
Waterloo Oct 9 1878 H R Stevens Boston reports relief from liver complaint and stomach disorders after taking two bottles of Vegetine. He states he had tried many remedies with no effect and is now well.
Dialogue pieces recount quaint exchanges and social scenes. A couple jokes about snowflakes on a moustache as they drive. An ad touts Kidney-Wort as a universal cure. Dyes boast color perfection. Fogg’s flirtatious banter amazes Miss Pangley and earns gossip from Miss Sagegreen.
An ad claims Hop Bitters destroys the germ of Bright's disease diabetes and liver and kidney complaints with an 18 price and proof by trial or neighbor cures. The Atlanta Constitution notes a man with poulticed eyes shows a wrapped expression as a paired black eyes affect his look.
A collage of sensational health claims includes Dr Win Hall's Balsam for the Lungs as a cure for whooping cough and croup, Vegetine blood purifier, Carboline hair renewer, and dubious endorsements. A juror's emotional verdict and a humorous conundrum about doors finish the snippet.
A fragment states a pleasant worm remedy is highly efficacious and requires no additional medicine. It mentions a line about a boy driving cows and a note on making deep good vinegar with a price of 20 cents, plus a borax tip for washing muslins with little soap. The references include G Brenner of Lowell Massachusetts.
A quick guide noting that tough cuts can become tender through long simmering over several hours. Also mentions various low cost ingredients and simple remedies for digestive discomfort and general health, reflecting early 20th century home cooking advice.
An advert follows for Allen's Brain Food claiming cures for nervous debility and weak generative organs at $1 via druggists, with a circular available from Allen's Pharmacy in New York. The piece also notes hog feeding with hay and corn, Dr Kline's Great Nerve Restorer from Philadelphia, and a shout about janitors and school dwellings. It ends with a note on artificial ivory from celluloid, detailing production steps.
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