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This newspaper page contains 12 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Millheim Journal
Location
Millheim, Pennsylvania, United States of America
Date
Feb 28, 1884
Page
1
An aged storyteller recalls a perilous trek home through a forest during a snowstorm and wolves. Two boys disobey their father and are chased. rescue comes when he fires a musket, saving them from the pack as they reach their cabin and receive a mother's tearful blessing and a strict lesson in obedience.
A French peasant girl rejects a promised lover by cunningly forcing him into a well during a garden chat. He agrees to marry her to be pulled out, then sues for attempted murder before finally marrying her, realizing she was his match.
A Michigan girl tells her sweetheart she will not marry until he is worth ten thousand dollars. He begins with resolve and reports twenty two dollars saved after months. She replies that amount is near enough to justify trust for the future.
An 1830s style comic scene unfolds as a plumber digs a buried leak while a cook and a mischievous boy unleash greasy slops into a sink. The plumber, soaked and enraged, is finally driven from the hole as spectators fault the boy, and the crowd jokes the child could become president.
Aunt Bethany says marriage is solemn while her niece counters that remaining single would be even more solemn. The exchange highlights family views on matrimony.
A meditation on punctuality shows how delays ruin lives and empires. From a train collision to Napoleon and a condemned man, behind time costs fortunes, lives, and justice, illustrating that five minutes can decide fate and progress hinges on prompt action.
An aging duck hunter recalls a April day on St Clair Flats when ducks supposedly flooded the channels. He claims counting over sixteen thousand ducks while in a capsized boat, with two hundred sixty four ducks trapped beneath, and affidavits to prove the tale, though doubt lingers among listeners.
A meek man sought a deadhead pass to Toledo claiming marriage plans to a widow worth $5,000. After being granted the pass he travels to Detroit and reports that he has married the widow, who proves to be not worth much, asking for further passage for both to Detroit in hopes of work.
The piece extols motherhood and the moral power of children. It argues that infant faces in art and in real life guard women from sin, soften anger in marriage, and sustain families. It declares that separating mother and child harms nature and divine will.
A boiler explosion claim, comic mis readings and quips fill a local page. A bank officer refuses aid yet is mocked for many applicants. A Cortland hotel scene features a buckwheat cake misjudged as a postage stamp. Various jokes poke at pensions militiamen wind players and rural haggling.
A superintendent questions a young man in a Bible class about when a man feels his own insignificance. The groom, newly to marriage, answers softly that it comes most keenly at the moment of being married.
A woodsawyer takes a pear as the grocer tears in, after a boy admits painting a sign reading Take one on a pile of chromes for a clothes wringer. The wind scatters the sign and many pears vanish, stirring suspicions about the joke. The boy claims he has quit fooling around and would not joke a grave image.
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