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This newspaper page contains 15 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Mesa Free Press
Location
Mesa, Arizona, United States of America
Date
Sep 15, 1899
Page
3
Scientists claim music soothes nerves but the fastest cure lies in strengthening the nervous system. The ad promotes Hostetter's Stomach Bitters as superior and warns buyers to use the product with a private Revenue Stamp on the bottle neck.
A brief joke in the Baltimore Jewish Comment about a laundress mentioning her industrious husband who always keeps her busy with tasks. The humor hinges on the husband’s ceaseless work and the laundress’s reply.
A vintage ad touts Cascarets Candy Cathartic as a gentle stimulant for the bowels. Claims include toning and strengthening the intestinal walls with prices listed as 10c 25c and 50c.
E J Davis writes from Riverside that he and two companions have struck it rich in the Cape Nome district. A joke about post office staff contrasts clever delivery with a forgetful husband. A French population stat shows officials up 121 percent over 50 years per M Turquan.
An advertisement page promotes Allen's Foot-Ease for foot comfort with claims of rapid relief for tight shoes, bunions, ingrowing nails, sweating and blisters, plus 30 000 testimonials and a 25 cent price. It also cites Utica Cleansing Compound for washing clothes and a series of household and personal products including Mrs Winslow's Soothing Syrup and Utica Toilet Compound.
The fragment lists multiple 19th century ads and endorsements. It mentions a $100 reward for a cake of Seeeee not cured by Hall's Catarrh Co, references J Cheney & Co, West & Truax Toledo, and Niste Toted unman & MARVIN wholesale druggists. It also promotes Dr. R H King Ltd and Utica cleaning and toilet compounds with several product lines.
In Columbus State Journal excerpts a candidate fretting over Mad Slinger's stance in an upcoming race. The question of whether Slinger backs the candidate or opposes them is driving uncertainty about the election outcome.
A collage of jokes and quips from multiple newspapers features witty lines on pessimists, marriage, tailored gowns, lawyers, and travel mishaps. Characters range from Dr Bloggs to Mr Dubious and Captain Quarterdeck, reflecting early 20th century humor.
A naturalist recalls watching a dramatic chase as a dragon fly outmaneuvered a swift swallow. The insect dodged and wheeled with remarkable speed, leaving the bird unable to catch it despite its best efforts.
An old advertisement urges readers to cleanse blood with Hood’s Sarsaparilla. It warns neglect leads to disease and stresses taking only Hood’s Sarsaparilla at once for safety.
Captain B W Morgan recalls a Welsh guest who proves a prodigious eater at a noon dinner. The guest boasts a small appetite and then devours a pound of plum pudding, finally claiming the Welsh eat like hogs, much to Morgan’s amused disbelief.
The piece recalls Julia Ward Howe in conversation with a boastful bachelor who seeks youth health wealth beauty and grace. Mrs Howe sympathetically agrees his request is excessive. A second note attributes butter's origin to Arabs who churned milk in camel skins during travel.
Mrs McPherson reads an ad claiming a cure for drinking smoking loud talking nightly outings gambling and weight gain of 20 pounds in three years. A responder offers to sell the secret for half a crown with money back if no cure. Mrs McPherson learns the remedy involved a three year prison sentence.
A nostalgic quip from Lady Gordon recalls Harry and George's rabbits. One rabbit escapes and returns tail-less to perish, prompting Harry's tears and George to offer grim consolation about the tail’s ascent to heaven.
Weary Willie and Frowsy encounter a public safety notice warning that bathing is dangerous due to quicksands. The exchange praises the signmaker as a true public educator and notes respect for the idea.
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