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Newspaper
Mesa Free Press
Location
Mesa, Arizona, United States of America
Date
May 26, 1899
Page
3
The new president of France is calm and sane, a touch bourgeois, and poised to inject vigor into politics. The comparison suggests a steady, reform-minded approach, likened to a cure for stomach ailments by Hostetters Stomach Bitters in the description's tone.
A Catholic Standard and Times snippet features a joke about why a bad actor is called a ham and a limerick about a Lenore man who goes to war. The verse jokes reference eggs with ham and the fast aid of old Jesse Moore as a prompt remedy.
A guaranteed cure for chronic constipation with Cascarets Candy Cathartic. If not cured the case is refunded. Drug gists sell 10 25 and 50 cent sizes. Chicago Tribune note included.
An old advertisement bundle touts Allen's Foot-Ease powder as a universal cure for painful feet and related ailments. It claims instant relief for stings from coins and bunions, eases tight or new shoes, and treats chiblains and sweating. Includes testimonials, pricing, and mail order option.
A mixture of ads and slogans urges readers to switch to Alabastine to cover walls and ceilings, claiming fireproof durability and ease of application. It also promotes Dr. Kline's Great Nerve Restorer with a free trial offer and mentions Kleeno Washing Powder. The text blends home improvement and patent medicine marketing.
Advertisement touts Hall's Catarrh Cure as a constitutional treatment that cures catarrh by acting on the blood and mucous surfaces. The text claims the makers offer one hundred dollars for any case that fails to cure and invites testimonials.
The Atchison Globe notes a humorous rule of thumb for marriage based on having 250 in the bank and a steady job. It observes hope as a driving factor in romance, and jokes that after forty a man questions his past choices while dreaming of marrying again for 250 dollars.
A parade of humor from multiple papers features quips about mothers, telephone girls, convalescence bills, and faltering finances. Snappy exchanges cover manners, money, pride, and social faux pas with a cross section of period voices and cartoonish wit.
A historical notice extols menstruation as a painful yet natural cycle and presents Lydia E Pinkham s Vegetable Compound as a thorough female regulator. A testimonial from Miss Jennie R Miles of Leon Wis describes relief after using multiple Pinkham products and invites women to seek free advice from Mrs Pinkham in Lynn Massachusetts.
A argues all Athenians are liars. As an Athenian, A is a liar, so the claim is false and Athenians tell the truth. If Athenians tell the truth, A’s statement is true, making him a liar and his claim false, creating an endless loop of truth and falsehood.
Hon J H Caldwell of Robeline Louisiana declares long term use of Peruna yields best results for catarrhal diseases and he will not be without it. Gilbert Hofer of Grays Kentucky writes that four bottles cured his catarrh and Bright's disease, and he has gained twenty pounds. Free catarrh book offered by Dr Hartman Columbus Ohio.
A Washington Star quip imagines a poetic woman yearning for bird wings. Her husband retorts that such wings would end up on another woman’s hat before the season ends, turning a whimsical wish into social commentary.
A manager in a life insurance firm recalls a $10,000 policyholder who insulted staff. The man plans a Kentucky trip to buy horses, prompting the manager to warn that rates would rise if he travels abroad and lied at home. The tale underscores caution in underwriting and risk.
The essay notes Washington Irving avoided public speaking yet presided at Dickens's 1842 New York dinner. He feared breaking down and could only offer a brief toast. Later in London he responded to a Literary Fund toast with a terse thanks, prompting a dry quip about his voice.
The empress dowager, from the Mantchoo race, opposes foot binding as common in southern China. Mantchoos are taller and have a different physique, and the empress’s feet are normal in size. She also showed frugality by ordering a gown priced at 125 dollars per yard, white silk brocade with floral relief.
Justice Laughlin in Buffalo holds permanent injunction against Paul B Hudson and a Brooklyn retailer for selling Dr Clark s Foot Powder as an imitation of Foot Ease. Allen Olmsted of Le Roy N Y owns Foot Ease and pioneered national advertising. Decision supports trademark and targets others infringing the Foot Ease rights.
A young girl warns Mr Slowgo about her mother’s keen use of parliamentary procedure. She says ma is a moving force who decides when to adjourn and how to plead her case, and she urges restraint.
Designers struggle to predict vessel performance as two identical mud barges differ wildly in speed. One becomes the bay’s fastest craft, inspiring yacht designs yet outpaced by later improvements. In 1851 America won a Cowes race before being bought, rebuilt, and subsequently losing races.
The ad touts Hood's Sarsaparilla as a perfect remedy for blood, kidneys, liver and bowels delivering vigorous health. Testimonials from Anna Sutherland Kalamazoo Michigan Elizabeth Giffels Moose Lake Minnesota Albert Jagnow Douglastown New York and John Kerr Chicago Illinois claim curing goiter poor health weak blood and a cancerous eruption with complete relief and renewed strength.
Hood's Pills claim to cure liver ills with non irritant formula. They describe Hood's Sarsaparilla as the only cathartic to take with Hood's Pills.
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