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This newspaper page contains 23 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Maurice Times
Location
Maurice, Iowa, United States of America
Date
Dec 09, 1910
Page
2
A pessimistic speaker recalls Thanksgiving in New England with a long meal and boisterous relatives. Uncle Ben hosts thirty relatives in Vermont, serving turkey and pies, while a late collection for the heathen raises 60 cents per person. The humor hinges on regional pride and ironic exaggeration.
A gentleman tells a general man to clean windows boots knives and go messages chop wood trim grass tend horse and pony tend the garden keep vegetables stocked and perform any needed tasks for a weekly wage. The man asks if there is clay in the garden, hoping to make bricks in spare time.
A Philadelphia Times anecdote recalls Old Pete Flood, longtime cemetery attendant at Franklin, whose morbid humor sparked a running gag. When asked about business, he would answer in a deep bass voice that no souls had been buried that day.
An old text asserts rheumatism arises from inactive kidneys and uric acid in blood. It promotes a home remedy using Fluid Extract Dandelion, Compound Karyon, and Compound Syrup Sarsaparilla, taken after meals and at night, claiming safety and ease of use.
The Sixty first congress opened its final session with both chambers adjourning shortly after appointing a joint committee to notify the president and adopt resolutions in memory of members who died since last met. The opening was marked by sadness from deaths in recent months and a crowd in the galleries. Vice President Sherman called the senate to order at noon and Dr Ulysses Grant Pierce offered the opening prayer. Eight of eighty senators did not respond on roll call.
All Iowa members except Representative Haugen were at their desks when Speaker Henry Cannon’s gavel fell at noon. Des Moines’ Representative Hull, who will retire March 4, was among the first on the floor. Also present were Representatives Martin and Burke of South Dakota.
In Creston Iowa a severe drought cripples Chicago Burlington and Quincy trains as engines must haul two tenders for water while reservoirs run dry. Rail relief is demanded to restore service and control costs.
Mrs. Frank Simon was shot and killed by a robber in her Silver Lake Minnesota home. Her husband leaped from a window and fled to a neighbor before returning to find his wife dying. The assailant escaped.
United States marshals seized 6,000 pounds of canned eggs shipped into Chicago. U S district attorney Sims noted a test of a teaspoonful of the substance showed 34 million bacteria, prompting action in a federal case.
Fire at Zanesville Ohio destroyed the H. Weber Sons building on Main Street and spread to adjacent structures causing an estimated loss of 150000 dollars. Local fire crews fought the blaze with extensive damage reported across several buildings in the business district.
Sioux City live stock quotes show top beeves at 6.75 and top hogs at 7.35 dollars. Rear Admiral Thomas B. Howard, commander of the fourth division of the American Atlantic battleship fleet, hosted a Monday reception aboard the battleship Georgia for French naval and civil authorities in Brest, France.
Creditors of the First National Bank of Billings Montana will get a 30 percent dividend. The payout was declared by the controller of the currency earlier in the week after the bank failed last July.
An Augusta aged reader endorses Doan's Kidney Pills for kidney trouble and warns delay risks. The ad notes 75 years of use, urges early treatment, and cites Foster-Milburn Co. Buffalo as the maker with 60 cent price. Also mentions Pierce's Pleasant Pellets for constipation and two dialogue lines about optimism and planning.
Mrs. Mary Baker G. Eddy founder of Christian Science dies at home in Boston in her ninetieth year. Maj. Gen. Wesley Merritt dies at Natural Bridge Virginia after a storied military career. Edward A. Smith dies in a Pittsburg taxicab. Elizabeth Allen aged 87 found strangled in Shirley West Virginia. Knox and a Smith heir die of heart trouble in a Pittsburg taxicab. Harry Lane Wilson seeks leave from Mexico post as Mexico stabilizes. Willie Hoppe defeats George Slosson in New York to retain 1000 dollar prize and diamond medal in balkline billiards.
Seventeen years the standard, the scientifically prepared remedy for women’s ailments. Advertises as proven and permanent results from use. Sold at all drug stores. An unrelated joke relic notes a flirtatious exchange about timing and breakfast food.
A preacher and sexton discuss a phono graph chair tested during a church service. The preacher calls it fine, but no one notices a difference until a deacon climbs to the loft to collect the offering.
An advertisement touts Pape's Diapepsia as a remedy for indigestion and stomach discomfort promising relief in five minutes. It claims the product digests food, reduces sour belching, gas, nausea, and headaches, and sells a 50-cent case as a sure regulator for stomach disorders.
In a congress report Secretary of the Navy George von L Meyer recommends retiring Robert Peary as rear admiral with pay from the moment he reached the pole. Across France torrential rains flood vast areas, with hundreds of villages surrounded and provisioned by soldiers. Boston financier Robert E Davie, known as the boy banker, has disappeared at age 28, with losses rumored between 300000 and 500000. Murder conviction in Alma Kellner case and a fatal shooting at Cairo police HQ prompt a town scare and a precautionary withdrawal of Sheriff Bankston. Banana Anna confesses to railroad fraud totaling over 5000 in damages from 17 lines. Berlin moves toward a greater Berlin by merging suburbs. The super-dreadnoughts New York and Texas are named.
The piece traces charity stamps from 1862 Civil War origins in Boston to the spread of seals in Europe, Norway, and Sweden. It highlights Delaware efforts led by Miss Emily P. Bissell with Jacob Riis influence, the 1908 national Red Cross tuberculosis stamp, and year by year fundraising growth totaling $135,000 in 1909 with a forecast of a million dollars.
A man attempted suicide by taking Paris green but survived with an eminent specialist called in. The patient resisted treatment claiming he would die anyway, the doctor refused to waste time, and after 24 hours the man called to say he had reconsidered and wished to continue treatment.
Tarsus in Asia Minor, birthplace of the apostle Paul, now shines with electricity. Power from the Cyclons river illuminates 450 electric street lights and about 600 incandescent lights for private use.
A concise quotation emphasizes that a man must know much to grasp the vastness of his own ignorance. Lord Palmerston curtails arrogance by acknowledging the breadth of unknowns one faces in life and study.
A Washington woman chronicles recovering from years of nervous illness after stopping coffee and drinking Postum. She notes improved health, energy for housework and caring for two babies, praising Postum as life changing and urging others to try it.
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