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This newspaper page contains 8 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Marshfield Times
Location
Marshfield, Wisconsin, United States of America
Date
Jan 24, 1912
Page
9
Broncho Bob complains there are no jury-worthy men in the settlement and mockingly rejects a trial. An ad seeks investment salesmen for preferred stock convertible at holder option, pitching the largest agricultural project in the world with liberal commissions. White Lully, Box 96, Waycross, Ga.
A youth explains his conflict over taking an interest in his employer’s affairs. He says he felt less worry as a minority stockholder than as a regular employee, admitting dissatisfaction with his decision.
A fragmentary quotation attributed to Mark Twain reflects on human fate and common mortality. The lines express striving to live honorably so that when the undertaker comes, he will be sorry for the loss, capturing a stoic view of life's inevitable end.
Special Commission report outlines reform to cut costs and improve efficiency across federal agencies. It urges consolidation of lighthouse and life saving services, merit grading for local officers, and broader use of labor saving devices. Budgeting and centralized accounting framed as core tools for accountability.
An old English farmer explains why he failed to obtain a license for his fox terrier. The defendant cites the pup as eternally young, claiming the dog is still a puppy. The magistrate fines the farmer as usual and the farmer ribaldly laments repeated past tales about the same dog.
A Kentucky resident describes a four year struggle with widespread itching and painful sores labeled eczema by doctors. After trying numerous treatments, four months of Cuticura Soap Ointment and Resolvent led to complete recovery, with a testimonial and offer for free samples from Cuticura, Boston.
A quirky mix of parsonage aphorisms and local notices reveals feuds and forgetfulness. A neighborly quarrel narrative with Mrs Jackson hints at memories and enmity, while ads promote Cole's Carbongalve whitening pain and a gas-meter anecdote. Additional lines discuss tuberculosis cautions and a pessimism joke amid a page of crude promotions and statistics.
In New York Gold Turn and George Ade discuss New Year resolutions with a flippant jab about wives and finances. A mix of old time patent medicines and quips follows, warning that even the ambitious fall short and fortunes fade as the high flyer lands.
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