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Newspaper
Marshfield Times
Location
Marshfield, Wisconsin, United States of America
Date
Apr 24, 1907
Page
4
The Marshfield Times prints a sprawling, humorous mix of misread quotes and social comment. It notes state clock costs in Pennsylvania, jokes about drinking alone, and a slew of names and anecdotes from politics, industry, and sports, including references to Harold Walker, Prince Ranji, and early stenographers in the United States.
A rival counterfeit concern in Edinburg makes pasteboard coins silvered like real money sold as candy toy money for children. Clergymen protest the practice of gilding imitations, which mirrors illegal coin fabrication. The piece also notes legal limits on coin imitation and mocks labeling alcohol as spirits pectificatus. It ends with a quip about Emperor William’s surgeon and a vermiform appendix mishap.
Dr Byron Mahorney, once believed dead in 1878, returns to Ladoga after a 28 year sleep. He recalls nothing of his absence, but his mind remains intact and he begins relearning family, work, and life while evidence points to a 1906 awakening.
A Winnipeg woman, Ethel McNeil, arrived in Crook City South Dakota and adopted male attire as Kingsley Malcolm. After prospecting across Idaho and Montana, she struck a promising lead near Crook City, sold her mine for a fortune, and plans to return to Canada to marry, revealing her gender after the gain.
Charles Woolridge’s hen in Libertyville shatters egg size records and lays triple yolk eggs with unusual eye like yolks. Neighbors’ poultry farms report a decline in egg competition as the bird’s feats spark astonishment and local discussion.
A Presbyterian minister lauds the late Dr Henry Martin Field of Stockbridge for diplomacy and sensible reform work. He warns reforms fail when zeal overwhelms common sense and recalls a tale of a nerve cure faddist pressed for tea preparation agency.
An old time medical ad warns that blood turns sour as kidneys weaken causing eruptions rheumatism nervous and stomach troubles. It promotes a home remedy with Fluid Extract Dandelion Compound Karyon Compound Syrup Sarsaparilia to be mixed and taken after meals and at night to restore kidney function and blood quality.
A farmer circulated a dollar for ten years, earning local use and tax support before it left the community forever. The tale urges readers to patronize local merchants who fund schools churches and services, noting the bill’s departure ends its usefulness nearby.
Two strangers discuss domestic issues on a train. The bachelor narrator declines, saying he has no wife or lived girl and his children cause him no worry. The exchange ends with a playful admission and reassurance. The brief, dated humor centers on social norms and bachelor status.
An N H girl recounts suffering from constipation and indigestion before appendicitis. She says milk alone failed, but consuming Grape Nuts and later Postum aided weight gain and symptom relief. She notes starches caused early issues and credits Wheat and other grains in Grape Nuts with digestion improvement.
Saltcoats Sask December 1906 letter from Th Olson recounts 4.5 years in Saltcoats district after moving from Baldwin Wisconsin. He describes 1904 wheat yields of 89 bu per acre on 90 acres, 1905 24 bu wheat and 5 bu oats per acre on 180 acres, and 1906 25 bu wheat and 45 bu oats on 175 acres. He urges others to come if they are prepared to work, praises soil fertility, and suggests contacting Canadian Government Agents for literature.
A historical note explains how pulse rate varies by age and sex, claiming babies have 160 in girls and 150 in boys, dropping with age to 95 for maidens, 80 for youths, and averages of 60 to 75 in elderly. It cites Napoleon's pulse at 44 per minute and discusses health variations.
A Missouri woman from Columbia reports relief after two years of dropsy heart and kidney issues following an operation. She used Dean's Kidney Pills and saw the swelling and pains subside. Sold by dealers at 50 cents a box, Foster-Milburn Co, Buffalo, NY.
The Queen of Portus wears a Humane Society medal for leaping into Lisbon harbor to save a drowning man. Mentions her sister the Duchess d'Aosta and Queen Amelia a pioneering woman doctor. The piece blends anecdotes from royal life and a humorous verse about cards and marriage.
A German dairyman in Germantown boasted of superior products and tried to win a customer by claiming his hens never lay anything but fresh eyes, prompting ridicule as the housekeeper questioned freshness.
A London College of Music candidate misread a musical interval during a recent examination, describing it as a brief pause for refreshments. The odd interpretation drew astonishment from professors observing the test.
Utica woman recovering from postnatal illness credits Dr Williams Pink Pills with restoring appetite strength and weight. The letter describes dizziness headaches swelling and nervousness after childbirth and says pills helped regain health, now weighing over 100 pounds. The ad promotes pills as a blood builder available by mail from Schenectady NY.
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