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Newspaper
Marshall Messenger
Location
Marshall, Illinois, United States of America
Date
May 01, 1879
Page
6
Fragmentary poem lines evoke a lush nocturnal scene with musk heavy nights and ripe stars. Imagery includes a low moon like a dusk apple and references to goddesslike lady arriving, primrose, cereas, frost and loom, snow blooms, passion flowers, laurels, syringa, jasmine.
The Snaptown Tommyhawk editorial venture is born when Simon Slope, age fourteen, forms a publishing company with friends to answer grievances of local youths against parental tyranny. They buy a press for five dollars and assemble a paper to lampoon critics of Snaptown, using original content sourced from peers.
Editorial notes the May 157x 1874 issue is a self published paper by Simon Slape and local youths aimed at challenging the Courant and offering original news. It claims Republikin politics and vows to outpace rivals with reporters and a boss poet, hoping to supplant the Courant within a year.
The speaker contrasts winter and spring noting snow gone and planting time near. Boys ride a merry horse to plow and feel cross as Cain while sleds and skates are stowed and boots changed for shop festivities. The poem laments spring heat and fondness for winter play.
A reader’s verse assaults a newspaper, calling it mean and unread, likening it to a rusty gun loaded with pumpkin seeds that shoots poorly and rarely harms the editor, with a playful jab at the editor’s temper.
A playful lyric opens with a love song about building a boat and sailing to the Caribbean. The page then reports social snippets: the S n C editor called an outrageous donkey by his wife, a sister praising a singing teacher, a remark about dyed hair, and a row between Mr and Mrs Percival over pocket money last Friday.
Miss Stope plans a tea for the minister and family next Wednesday. Preparations include borrowing Mrs Pepper's china set and laying a feast on Mrs Stoke's long cloth. She sent spoons to Boston to be replated and marked to resemble silver.
A rambunctious, satirical piece mocks cruelty to cats, describing dangerous pranks with fire-crackers and tied animals. It extols cat mischief while condemning real harm, ending with a tongue in cheek sign-off from Smron SLopt.
The issue page reports a chaotic Saturday edition in Snaptown. Advertisements promote sweet-fern cigars while a mob of youths and local figures clash. A minister denounces guests, an adulterated goods charge targets Mr. Stokes, and shop fights erupt as Deacon Pepper sacks his servant. Captain Fungus intervenes as the Tompkins boys burn the office.
A narrator recalls Simon obliged to fast after a disastrous issue. He limped from the ruins, leaning on a cane and muttering that truth is punished now and that even George Washington could not edit a paper without lying, preferring school to journalism.
A detailed description of the House of Lords interior with statues, frescoes, gas lighting, crimson benches for 500 peers, the royal throne, the woolsack, ministerial tables, clerks in wigs, and galleries for peers, reporters, and visitors as observed in a London scene.
A colorful Oakland Radiator chronicle recounts two Black Hills prospectors discovering a Milpitas cavern rich with gold. After a seismic upheaval they supposedly fly through the air, only to crash in a nearby marsh. The tale closes with a ridiculous gag about sneezed-out plugs in a Milpitas girl’s teeth.
In Philadelphia the hobby scene includes at least 2000 male collectors. Speaker Randall owns a complete set of U S gold coins ever minted. Simon Gratz is famed for the country’s largest autograph collection. William B. Vaux holds a vast paper-money and coin stash including an 1804 cent of high value. A Tenth Ward druggist reportedly has perhaps America’s largest collection.
Over thirty-five years of accumulation valued at $75 000 include a complete set of copper silver and gold issues of the United States and a nearly complete Colonial coin collection.
The Newmarket Handicap on April 17 saw Parole, an American-bred horse, win over six starters at about a mile and a half with a 25 sovereign handicap. Isonomy led the betting before Parole’s late victory sparked American turfmen’s joy, despite setbacks for Lorillard’s stable after arrival at Newmarket. Parole, foaled 1873, is a brown gelding about fifteen and a half hands high.
A short poem by James T. Fields celebrates spring in April. It contrasts youth and vitality with aging, praising the vernal air, flowing streams, and nature’s song. The speaker urges joy and union, declaring death and darkness avoided by the bloom of life and love.
The Sacramento Record Union surveys Charles Bennett former superintendent of the San Francisco Olympic Club. Once a skeletal patient, he joined the club and gained exceptional strength, boxing skill and danger sense. He saved a falling gymnast, then later matched a pugilist with remarkable force. Bennett likely stopped gymnastics years before his death from consumption. The piece calls for cautious study before blaming overexertion.
J BR Coe of Sloan Iowa reports a calf weighing 114 pounds at birth and 124 pounds five days later, larger than prior records of 111 pounds in the United States and 112 in England. Four observers weighed the calf, and the mother nearly died but survived. Woodbury county thus claims the big calf of the world.
In 1878 the United States sold 7,662,658 barrels of salt, with 3,075,533 imported. About 1,856,000 came from the Saginaw Michigan district, 1,434,000 from Syracuse New York, 850,000 from Ohio and Virginia, and the rest elsewhere. Imports mainly arrived from Liverpool Trapani Cadiz Hyeres Turk's Island and Curacao. Domestic output grows as imports decline.
A collage of jokes and light verse asides featuring puns about eye, spring, and lovers. Anecdotes include a Warrenan wife calling her husband Good Resolutions, Socrates dubbed the why-is-est man, and a trivia of clergyman marriage. Includes a humorous misread of hops and a railway ticket anecdote.
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