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Newspaper
Marble Hill Press
Location
Marble Hill, Missouri, United States of America
Date
Dec 21, 1899
Page
2
A miscellany from Marble Hill Missouri features satirical proverbs on vanity and politics, notes on Liberia’s financial rebound through rubber royalties, and reflections on literary anniversaries. It also reports street crime in New York, a London pranks tale, balloon travel jokes, and a misread Canadian treasure shipment, all in a compact, era voice.
A Western woman describes a festive Christmas at an uncle's farm near Cambridge. With about thirty relatives, guests include a New York lawyer and Yale men. Stella, her cousin, drives a playful house party romance while a Christmas tree mishap leads to laughter. Santa and gifts close the happily bustling holiday.
On a frosty Christmas Eve in the city Philip Meredith walks amid festive bustle while haunted by the memory of Mirabel. He recalls their spring meeting, joyful wedding, and a gulf opened by a cruel quarrel that drove them apart. He pauses before a florist and resolves to act.
A Christmas morning scene at St Joseph's hospital follows Philip as he buys American beauty roses for a cousin who plans to send them to the hospital. A young, refined woman with clipped signs of toil lies insensibly in a ward, revives, and guards a secret as doctors dispute her identity and past.
A hospitalized woman receives roses and a card from a hidden admirer. She awakens, insists on seeing him, and, after doctors deem her fit, leaves the hospital with her beloved. A man, drawn by fate, spots her on church steps and reunites with the patient, their Christmas morning reunion described with reverent joy.
Jo Amy and Megan visit a freezing poor family on Christmas morning to share breakfast, bread and milk. Mrs March and Hannah warm the mother and baby with tea and gruel, while the sisters distribute food to the children and speak kindly in broken English. The act brings unexpected joy to all, the girls recalling their angellike moment.
A bitter Christmas tale of a hungry child on a squalid street waiting for Santa Claus. She wanders until hope fades and she dies in the night, a somber image of cold hunger and unmet longing.
A humorous exchange where a cyclist asks a doctor for his bicycle cost to inform a potential buyer. The doctor notes he is not ready to pay the bill, while the cyclist explains he cannot share the price until he hears back. The vignette plays on financial details and vanity.
An apparatus has been devised to automatically photograph people as they enter shops and other places. The invention aims to monitor foot traffic and offer photographic records without manual input. The device likely uses sensors to trigger a camera and may integrate with existing doorways or entryways.
The text urges meaningful gift giving for a holiday, rejecting loveless or perfunctory presents. It praises simple acts like holly, ribbons, greeting cards, rosy apples for children, and tea for the grandmother as ways to share goodwill and ease burdens, emphasizing cooperation and joy.
A child writes Santa admitting a woolly lamb and toy horse once owned are now small memories. The writer confesses growing up over the year and requests a chainless bicycle, hoping for a gift befitting his larger age.
A mendicant tearfully declares he has called for aid in his extremity. The businessman responds bluntly that he is not a chiropodist, saying help is impossible. Philadelphia Record frames a brief, ironic exchange.
A humorous item titled Our Budget of Fun compiles original and selected jokes and verses from Tide of Humor. It recounts a man who forever spoke the truth, losing work and friends yet gaining a hard lesson about honesty in a Chicago Times Herald verse.
A dramatic quarrel unfolds as a furious wife declares she wishes her husband Frederick Harrison had married Edith Mac Mahon instead of her. The enraged husband retorts that he would have wed Edith were she willing, highlighting a combustible love triangle.
Duet and chorus clash in a playful backchat about going to school with a carnival vibe. The exchange contrasts a kind elder with a daughterlike response and a humorous retort about not appearing ready for a circus.
In a rural exchange, Mrs. Neighborm prompts condolences to Mr. Hayrix for a loss. The conversation shifts to a war party and the speaker jokes about ten fine hogs, eight dead, joking about selling legs for thirty dollars per head, reflecting a grim rural banter.
In a casual exchange Magnum and Casta discuss Pingrey and a dry champagne order amid a thirsty crowd. The dialogue hints at onlookers and a misfit moment, with light trolling of Pingrey as The Boston Transcript’s tone emerges.
After he kissed her and patted her cheek she asked if he shaved himself. He answered yes and she noted his rough face. He left feeling a cold heavy lump in his breast.
A snippet from the Philadelphia Bulletin quotes a playful exchange about marriage and music. Mia Mango responds that she has given up her singing, joking that harmony knowledge has faded since the wedding. The line captures lighthearted, domestic humor.
Mrs. Hammond answers yes to a boarder asking about comforts, noting home made food and an experienced physician always on hand. The exchange highlights personalized care and daily meals as key benefits.
A grimy tramp begs for food and a wash from a gentleman. The tramp insists he will wash himself if given something, while the gentleman questions the tramp’s willingness to work. The odd exchange highlights hardship and a blunt expectation of labor.
Fragmentary dialogue from Stray Stories hints at a narrator recalling his mother’s mornings. The text reads as a surreal, disjointed excerpt with unclear context and characters Me Koeen and Hosinees referenced in a lyrical or experimental style.
In a terse exchange a New York Journal reader quotes a convict saying “Stone walls do not a prison make” and adds “Maybe not,” while noting the line is part of a prison vialter’s quip about the difficulty of parole.
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