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Newspaper
Marble Hill Press
Location
Marble Hill, Missouri, United States of America
Date
Apr 27, 1893
Page
3
A列 fragment notes diverse names and customs. It claims 512,500 telephones in the country, suggests Patagonia was named for its big-footed inhabitants, and mentions England producing sheet iron visiting cards with silver inscriptions. It also notes the Russian Cossacks and Circassians as predominantly Mohammedan and thus strict teetotalers.
A man from Durham Missouri, thirty six, married with two daughters, writes a plain confession about using Hemorrhage of the Lungs syrup after other remedies failed. He offers to tell anyone who writes to Pub L. Sexpence at P O Box 45, dated April 25, 1890, asserting his statement is honorable and businesslike.
A summary of vital statistics finds many live beyond the biblical three score and ten. Dr Ogle notes that among 647000 men aged 25, 135000 die before 45 and 360000 before 65, with life expectancy at 25 about 34.68 years. The article discusses many centenarians, including a California Indian aged 140 to 159, and an East widow claimed to be 115, plus numerous 100 plus deaths in the UK. It argues centenarians often enjoy good health, with simple diet, regular work, and moderate sleep, and notes only one of 34 was a clergyman.
A Detroit party conversation reveals a Chicago visitor, claiming to be a musician who played in a wind instrument in a band. The escort jokes that he works for a Chicago newspaper and likely earns money by playing as well.
A bystander asks what brings the mob together as a Kentucky lynching party gathers to deal with a man accused of killing his father and brother. The crowd dismisses the crimes, compares to Cain, and considers stringing him up while planning immediate action.
A relic preserved at the Plymouth military hospital in England is the heart of a soldier who died there on January 30, 180, sixteen days after being shot through the heart.
Worth something. Watt Why questions worthiness as Potta-Fellow calls the speaker a hog amid tense exchanges.
The dialogue weaves a shabby advert map through jokes about kidney ailments and remedies. It mentions Hostetter's Stomach Bitters as a diuretic, Kemp's Balsam for coughs, Garfeld Tea for health, and Hanson’s Magic Corn Salve. Various humorous exchanges accompany product mentions and casual daily scenes.
A pious man buys land with a small stream and asks a hired man to assess it. The man returns with the blunt verdict taint worth a dam, shocking the family. Repeated twice, the phrase is revealed to be a misinterpretation and ends with a clean, non profane conclusion about the creek’s capacity.
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