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This newspaper page contains 19 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Mansfield Press
Location
Mansfield, Missouri, United States of America
Date
Apr 16, 1909
Page
3
A playful tale follows seven neat bald-headed men drawn by a Help Wanted ad in a morning paper. They discover a temporary hair-restoring solution and a witty companion flees with it, while a secret league guards the inventor as plans for fame loom on the horizon.
The report describes a hair restorer promising two week growth and the claim of “Ask Me” proof. Seven witty men, once bald for decades, hailed renewed hope while rumours of shaved heads circulated. An accident erased the discoverer’s memory of the formula, ending the secret.
A middle aged man recalls pears so hard they were inedible in childhood. He finds preserved examples that are tasteless after cooking, revealing the pears were canned. The tale frames a humorous reflection on aging and memory.
The piece argues that statesmen benefit from private warmth and relaxed talk but warns humor overuse harms rulers. It echoes Bacon that judges should be more learned than witty in public appearances, stressing measured, appropriate wit for those in great office.
A consumer urges property owners to learn safe painting practices. National Lead Company offers Houseowner's Painting Outfit No 49 for lead free materials, including color schemes specifications and a purity test tool. The Dutch Boy Painter trademark signifies purity and quality.
A Pittsburg man recounts severe scalp scaling after typhoid fever and hair loss in 1908. After using two cakes of Cut cura Soap and Cub cura ointment, his scalp cleared and hair grew thicker, ending fears of baldness. He notes the cure from Potter Drug & Chem and Cub cura products.
A church adopted water powered organ technology and connected pipes to the rectory. Tests were fine but the organ failed at the first service, leaving the choir to sing unaccompanied. The rector received a note from his wife stating, It’s all right now. Cook was taking a bath.
A war veteran describes running 20 miles in about 80 minutes, while noting the hindering underbrush and carrying a nearly 50 pound knapsack. He remarks this pace was impressive given the hurry and burden.
A physician recounts a severe grip that left his stomach unable to retain food. He relied on four tablespoons of Grape-Nuts and cream three times daily for two weeks and recovered quickly. He praises Grape-Nuts as vital when the stomach cannot digest other foods and urges physicians to use it more widely.
Retired Bolivar merchant David W Martin reports kidney trouble dating from war times after a horse accident. He describes back strain dizziness and bladder irregularity. He credits Deans Kidney Pills with full recovery after three years of suffering. Sold by all dealers 50 cents a box Poster Milburn Co Buffalo NY.
A Philadelphia Telegraph quip recounts Mr and Mrs Brown debating who has the harder duties after dinner. She lists wife tasks from cooking to housekeeping then adds guarding her husband from making a fool of himself. He quips further, highlighting satire on domestic labor.
The article touts cures for fits and nervousness via epilepticide from the Dr. May Laboratory in New York City. It invites readers to request free trials, literature, History of Epilepsy, and testimonials by writing to 48 Pearl Street.
An 19th century patent medicine notice promotes Mail's Catarrh Cure by F J Cheney Co Toledo Ohio claiming it treats catarrh as constitutional. It asserts the medicine acts directly on blood and nerves, offers a hundred dollar refund for false cures, and urges readers to request circulars and testimonials. It also references LaL’s Family Medicine for constipation.
Percival rushes to his grandmother pleading for water claiming he swallowed a worm while eating an apple. The Delineator recounts the anxious moment and the quick drink that followed as he sought to drown the imagined intruder.
Old time advertisement for Allan's Foot-Ease powder to shake into shoes. Claims cure for Bwollen Smart-Ing Tired Aching Hot Sweathie Meat Cornsum Bunions. Mentions available at shoe stores and wall advertisements. Free sample sent upon request with an address.
A brief exchange questions whether readers engage with real poetry while publishers review submissions, hinting at a limited audience for modern verse. The fragment suggests skepticism about poetry’s reach and the publishing process.
Fragmentary ad copy promotes Marine Eye Remedy Murine and Winslow’s soothing syrups, Woolford’s Lotion, and Red Cross Bandage products. Includes dubious moralizing lines and miscellaneous aphorisms about theft and self sacrifice. Readers are urged to ask druggists for these products.
An old recruitment notice asks if readers wish to become nurses in a non sectarian hospital. It notes time allowances for nurses, says graduates earn about $25 per week, and provides contact for Dr. K B Richardson at 21 Clinton Place Kansas City Missouri.
A conversational snippet shows one person boasting a year’s money making scheme. The other asks about details, and the reply reveals plans to create road maps intended for department store customers to use.
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