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Newspaper
Mansfield Mirror
Location
Mansfield, Missouri, United States of America
Date
Aug 07, 1913
Page
7
A misdirected rain day letter drives a cottage romance. Nellie Vane rejects a planned department store suitor, while brother Ben’s mail mishap delays the truth about a late proposal. a suitor returns with a postal error solved by delay and fate.
Melody reached Secretary Houston of the department of agriculture through his mall in the guise of three pieces of music one a love song the others patriotic in their appeals another sought support for a world centre promoting humanitarian principles a third provided a mass of alleged genealogical information from many sources plus requests for autographs and financial aid. A genuine request from a western homesteader’s wife was answered though no funds were available for relief.
A pedestrian explains a simple method to predict a chauffeur’s intended turn by watching how the steering wheel is twisted. The idea notes that steering action reveals whether a driver plans to go straight or dart around a corner in crowded thoroughfares.
The quotation reflects on the silk hat and its invention a century ago and wonders how its firsts of April were pulled off without it. The passage hints at nostalgia for a bygone novelty and asks about early pranks and practical uses linked to the hat’s cultural footprint.
A noted quotation frames the idea that a woman seeks growth beyond her boundaries while remaining true. The saying contrasts ambition with restraint in a witty exchange attributed to a judge.
The San Pedro Martir range in the Baja California peninsula rises to nine thousand feet, with San Gorgonio and San Bernardino nearby. The western face is near-vertical while the eastern slope drops toward the desert. The range hosts deer and bighorn, occasional mountain lions, and streams that vanish into the desert sands. San Antonio Creek supports trout and an oasis with tropical fruit, while cattle, horses, and herds thrive on the cooler high ground in summer.
Peter Battinell, thirteen, of Stamford Conn, earned two dollars by doing errands and mowing lawns to pay for his unlicensed dog's license after the warden impounded the animal. He tearfully pleaded to spare the dog and soon reclaimed it.
The new congressman remarks that serving in Congress is not as glamorous as expected after nearly three months, complaining he has not had a chance to join any junket to the Panama Canal.
A caller questions Rah-Pitt Coal about a planned 10 cent per ton monthly price increase. He notes a scientific paper stating U S coal supplies could last 5000 years with growth in population and consumption, and declines to rush a winter supply, saying he will wait and see.
A printer turned waiter explains a soup misprint when a diner exclaims an outrageous needle in the soup. The waiter concedes it was a misprint and that the line should read neodle, illustrating his skill with misprints.
A policeman asked why a man struck him in the face. Smith answered the assailant claimed to be an Odd Fellow and Smith said the man looked the part.
A series of sensational clippings recount odd misfortunes and social turmoil. Rose notes a sickly bookkeeper at a poor game. A eloping couple misses a train after a punctured plan. Mr Tyte Phist warns of misery under new income tax law. A jilted husband injures his ex wife’s brother but pays alimony. A horse collapses on muddy ground yet rises, startling shoppers. Robinson and Smith families relocate to separate but end up neighboring flats.
Edith and Flora discuss summer visits in the country. Edith recounts a farmer claiming he never kissed a girl before. Flora asks what she replied. Edith quips that she told him the kiss "was no agricultural experiment."
The famed ancient Greek artist Zeuxis painted grapes so lifelike that birds pecked at them. A rich pork packer who paid $500,000 for the canvas ordered Paint In a Scarecrow to curb the birds, speaking like a man used to emergencies.
A snippet shows voices debating volunteers at the front and suffrage rhetoric with sharp lines about heroism, patriarchy, and fashionable allegiance. The dialogue jabs at women’s involvement and political power through witty, provocative exchanges.
The old advisor quips that by appearing pompous one can shift tasks to others. He uses the hat example to illustrate letting others chase what you should not chase and extends the idea to many situations.
A fragment recalls training and a confession about a Sunday school picnic next week. One says they did not know about the training until recently and mentions carrying baskets and pulling the hide from the river as tasks for the outing.
Theodore P Shoats says the NYSE incorporation may be good but warns against a low honor standard among brokers. He recounts a San Quentin joke about two convicts one jailed for stealing a watch and the other a cow. Their exchange centers on timing and milking, illustrating insinuations.
A comic anecdote features a black man in confession answering no to thefts since last confession. The priest questions about chickens watermelons eggs turkeys and the man insists no thefts, claiming air as his only gain. Outside his companion asks how it went and he replies Bully, noting ducks would have changed the outcome.
A family discussion about a marriage proposal at breakfast reveals Freddie doubting the suitor. He cites that in over a year he has given only 17 cents, highlighting a child’s skeptical view of a potential husband. The exchange unfolds with the father responding with a light smile.
A confessor recalls proposing after years of wooing and a quick engagement collapse. He explains the break came from his habitual absent mindedness as he later visited and again asked for marriage. The dialogue, from Youths' Companion, highlights a comical misstep in domestic romance.
A short exchange between Hobart and Albert reveals a groom and his fiancée debating whether the word obey should be included in their marriage vows. Albert remarks it would seem odd to include it, while Hobart broaches the idea of cutting it out.
Miss Snippy suggests a practical way to please her slater by not lingering at the place nightly and giving another fellow a chance, offering light humor and social nuance in a brief exchange.
A humorous exchange about dancing with less attractive partners. Cheap Tultlon asks if the ugly girls are always his dance partners. The response notes he is just learning and the uglier dancers are grateful for any partner.
An old Snarl questions what should be done with suffrage once granted. He demands whether it will be used to advance rights or merely adorned with pink ribbons and set aside in a corner.
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