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Newspaper
Madras Pioneer
Location
Madras, Oregon, United States of America
Date
Mar 29, 1906
Page
7
An advertisement touts Hood's Sarsaparilla as capable of curing many ailments near medicine range due to its balanced formula. It claims ingredients target blood liver kidneys stomach and bowels and promotes liquid and tablet forms with 100 doses for one dollar.
Jumbled dialogue references a nervous Kline style string bow and a boxman, with wry remarks on old age, love, and a humorous farcical scene. The garbled text hints at characters in a domestic or theatrical setting.
An advertisement fragment from the Philadelphia Press promotes Allen's Foot-Fase for foot issues. The copy claims it cures sweating, athlete’s foot, bunions, and makes shoes easy to wear. It invites readers to write for a free sample and notes retailers should not substitute.
A fable style exchange in the Baltimore American shows the Ant declaring a socialist stance that the smaller should not yield the road to the larger. The Elephant retaliates with a threat to step on the ant. Separately a London to Paris telephone rate was cut from two dollars to one for a three minute call.
London Mall describes a revival of the double demon spelling bee played at winter fireside gatherings. Players either affix or prefix letters to avoid finishing a word, showing ingenuity as the game twists toward unexpected words like mastiff scallop and misciall.
The Westinghouse Electric and Manufacturing Company won a contract to supply generators, steam engines, motors, and switchboard gear for five Cuban sugar plantations. The order, worth about 100000 dollars, covers two 270 kilowatt DC generators and multiple motors for plants in Jatibonico Santor Jacito Obi Stillman and Guantanamo, reflecting Cuba's rapid industrial growth and preference for American machinery.
The new Custom House stands beside New York’s modern architecture as a practical building. It replaces the old Wall Street domed interior with deep gloomy porch and monolithic columns, adapting to the narrow street. The site at Battery Park area offers better light and efficiency, suggesting smoother, prompt public business flow.
A Philadelphia Press quote exchange laments pride after purchasing a new car and jokes about women as fortune tellers. It notes parents’ role in making sacrifices and ends with a proverb about pride before a fall.
A vintage advertisement urges Pale and Nervous readers to take Sarsa parilla from Ayer's for blood health. It claims the medicine has served as a trusted family remedy for over 60 years and suggests consulting a doctor for assurance.
A brief quip shows Adam Zanfor complaining he has waited years for a chance to be treated by a street car conductor, but no conductor has ever looked his way. The joke implies missed opportunities and social satire of fare conditions.
A Washington Star excerpt notes Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup as a preferred teething remedy for children. Senator Sorghum comments on trust honesty, saying trusts never deceived him.
The Chicago Tribune quotes a playful scene where Mr Aesop meets Baron Munchausen. The dialogue showcases mutual recognition and courteous introductions among two legendary figures.
A spoof recounts physicians secretly convening to address woes like worn tires and unpaid music lessons, joking they should discover a new microbe. It then pivots to an old patent medicine pitch for Hall's Catarrh Cure and Hall's Family Pills, touting constitutional treatment and a $100 reward offer.
Names and addresses of Portland business firms listed for services and products. Includes artificial eyes and eyewear repair, Woodard optical catalog, Hazelwood Co request for free catalog, and men s clothing by Buffam Pendleton Alfred Henjamin Co Morrison and Gist streets opposite post office.
A courtly suitor learns the delay hurts more than his excuses as a beautiful girl laments worn out heart and family patience. The advocate of procrastination presses on while the ruined household items echo the strain of waiting. The suitor mutters in defiance about his worn shoes from repeated visits.
A Philadelphia speaker lauds Mary Mapes Dodge for favoring direct personal contact between giver and recipient over organized charity. He recalls a Maryland tramp tale noting that those who mind giving away stay poor, while others remain comfortable.
The small lizard Anolis carolinensis inhabits the Southern United States and can rapidly change from brown to yellow or pale green. It feeds on insects and is harmless to larger life forms. Often kept as a pet, it has been worn as a small ornament. Its adhesive toe pads allow it to run on smooth vertical surfaces.
A humor filled look at early railway engines with the Stourbridge Lion weighing far less than modern locomotives. It notes its August 8 1820 test on wooden rails over a Lackawaxen River bridge in Pennsylvania and the public skepticism before its first run. A Kansas City measure promises municipal clerks’ children monthly salary boosts.
An advertisement touts Cascarets as a top ten cent remedy with claims of rapid daily usage by millions. It asserts long standing consumer trust, extensive spending on promotion, and warns of imitators and counterfeiters seeking unearned profits.
The copy promotes Cascarets as a time trusted vegetable remedy for digestion. It argues they prevent disease by keeping bowel muscles active and cleansing the digestive canal, warns against dishonest sellers and bulk sales, and touts the West Pocket Cent box by the Sterling remedy Company with the CCC marking.
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