19 Jan 1881
Page 1
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This newspaper page contains 9 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Madison Weekly Herald
Location
Madison, Indiana, United States of America
Date
Jan 19, 1881
Page
1
The piece blends a somber religious revival with a humorous hotel room scene. Jim Webster confesses struggle with faith at Parson Bledsa’s revival while a comic domestic episode shows Mr Spoopendyke feverishly demanding fruit and medicine from his patient wife as they await illness and death.
A lyric scene unfolds as a speaker watches a woman approach, weighing haste and delay. The daisies and natural imagery frame a playful courtship, ending with a playful line about marriage and the husband as yesterday’s lover fossil. The tone resembles a romantic, contemplative verse from a bygone era.
A reflective poem urging resilience and faith over wealth. It counsels walking the heath with beauty in view and the violet's teachable miracles. The speaker warns against bowing to gold and notes how premature worldly affection can age the heart.
The piece defends patent medicines like Hop Bitters as worthy remedies and cites Bay City climate use. It recalls General Sir Talbot de la Pier Sangraziul forgetting his hat after church and Lady Jane dropping a penny, with a moral on doing good for good’s sake and earning praise in time.
Mc Donald Clarke, a wild eccentric writer of verses, lived in New York City about thirty years ago. He died in a Blackwell's Island lunatic asylum and was buried in Greenwood Cemetery, leaving a funeral wish for children to be buried beside him and for music flowers and pure air in heaven.
The passage notes high demand for Kidney-Wort and introduces a liquid preparation sold by druggists with the same effect as the dry version but in a more concentrated dose. It also briefly mentions a Philadelphia man’s electric lighting experiment and other brief ad-like notes about remedies and a humorous line about a coal-warmed winter.
The text lists various human statistics including average weight, bone count, skeleton height, brain weights, blood and lung data, heart and pulse rates, respiration volumes, and daily blood and carbon dioxide figures. It contrasts several national averages and cites figures on teeth, breathing, and organ capacity.
A humorous anecdote discusses how lawyers cannot force truth from unwilling witnesses and cites a wry exchange about Mr. Smith and his horse. The piece lampoons evasive answers and includes punch line moments about riding and gait. It moves through a series of quips and satirical notes on health, accidents, and puns.
A wealthy plumber father tests his daughter Cecil’s choice between marriage to a poor but earnest farmer on the Board of Trade and a promised seal skin sack, offering $399 in a decisive check as the test. The tale intertwines themes of love, wealth, and social expectations amid a hazy moral frame.
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