The Semi-Weekly Nation in Logan Utah Satirical Snippets
A montage of humorous quips and social observations from The Semi-Weekly Nation in Logan Utah. The items jest about politics education gender roles and current events with playful wordplay and wry optimism.
Glorious country spends on confectionery baffling dentists
Abdul Hamid sends a printer to the hamstringing department over a typographical error while a proofreader prays. The new German trolley car reportedly travels two miles per minute, yet riders say each minute feels like an hour in the car.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Abdul Hamid
Man Sues for Divorce Over Wife Spent on Races
A court tale notes a husband filing for divorce alleging his wife used marital funds to gamble. The piece reflects on financial excesses and calls for steady law work as the best mission effort.
Hen sits or sets and egg prices stir worry
Purists debate hen behavior while the public frets over the current price of eggs. The discussion contrasts terminology with practical concern about food costs affecting daily life.
Mirror announced as exclusively women's newspaper
Alfred Harmsworth, the London editor, vows to publish a paper titled the Mirror aimed at women. He urges all ladies to read the new publication.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Alfred Harmsworth
London
the Mirror
Bogota Statesmen Ponder Canal Purchase Fun
Reports from Bogota indicate that Colombian statesmen have begun to consider what fun they could have with canal purchase money.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Bogota
Senator Depew Marriage Announcement Echoes Humble Farewell
Senator Depew faces no excited young ladies on church steps as news of his forthcoming marriage circulates. The rumor mill notes his modest public stance and suggests the event carries little fanfare after the brief announcement.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Depew
Rising Standards Challenge College Students
Standards which college students are required to meet are becoming higher and more severe. Ambitious collegians must survive not only football games but the class rushes.
Henry C. Jarratt Dies in London Investor in Black Crook
Henry C. Jarratt has died in London. He and his partner earned about 1,100,000 from the Black Crook, largely due to aggressive promotion by ministers who protested against it.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Henry C. Jarratt
London
Art Treasures Hailed as Vatican Library Fire Threatens
A devastating Rome fire endangered the Vatican library home to priceless manuscripts and renowned works of painting sculpture and pottery. The loss would impact humanity's angling of ancient relics and cultural heritage, with authorities racing to control the blaze and salvage irreplaceable items.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
The
Vatican
Rome
Prics
Priceless Vatican Treasures Threatened By Fire
A Vatican fire on November 1 endangered the hall of inscriptions near the papal audience chamber and the Pinacoteca. Rome officials including the mayor and police, plus Sig. Bonedetti, led the firefighting effort. Although little damage occurred, historic items such as Cicero’s palimpsest, Dante’s manuscript, the Greek New Testament, Petrarch and Tasso autographs, and Henry VIII’s letters to Anne Boleyn were at risk.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Vatican
Rome
Sig. Bonedetti
Cicero
Petrarch
Tasso
Henry VII
England
Anne Boleyn
Fifty Hour Piano Marathon Ends Amid Thunderous Cheer
Signor Batcio, an Italian musician, completed fifty hours of continuous piano playing in a Baltimore theater to a 2000-strong audience. He stretched 30 minutes beyond the time, risking a burst of the piano strings as he closed. Two pianos were exhausted, he performed 942 pieces, and his only sustenance was coffee wine and water. He shed four pounds during the feat.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Signor Batcio
Baltimore
Batcio
Women in Pittsburg Engage Public Policy Drive
Pittsburg women show unusual interest in the current campaign aided by the State Federation of Women's Clubs which directed a committee to monitor Harrishire legislation so women remain informed and ready to influence measures seen as detrimental to the public good.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Pittsburg
State Federation of Women's Clits
Harrishire
Future of South Africa Predicts Self Rule and Federation
Karl Von Beeckman, once of Johannesburg, travels in the U S and doubts British domination lasting ten years. He foresees Transvaal Natal Orange Free State and Cape Colony forming a federation, becoming free of English control like Canada. He blames a capitalistic combine for hindering development and keeping foreigners out, asserting it now dominates Kimberley diamond fields and gold mines.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Karl von Beeckman
Johannesburg
South Africa
Mr von Broeckman
Transvaal
Natal
Orange Free State
Kimberley
Depew Reflects On Wealth From Early Telephony
Chauncey M. Depew recalls narrowly rejecting a $10,000 offer to back Alexander Graham Bell and Gardiner Hubbard on the talking telegraph about thirty years ago. He says accepting would have left him worth about $30 million today, eroding his drive to work and likely leading to a different fate. The remarks touch on wealth, risk, and the origins of telecommunication.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Depew
Chauncey M. Depew
Alexander Graham Bell
Gardiner Hubbard
Harlem Railroad
Barrie
Mr. Depew
Desperado Hatfield Becomes Detective Chasing Murders
Devil Anse Hatfield, famed Hatfield leader in the West Virginia feud, turns sleuth and captures two alleged murder suspects in Logan county jail. He pursued them for thirty miles through the mountains after a body was found near his home, promising a posse and tracking the pair.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Desperado
Anse’ Hatfield
West Virginia
Logan County
Milot
Hatfield
Death of Theodor Mommsen, German Jurist and Historian
Theodor Mommsen, renowned German jurist and historian born November 8 1817 in Garding, died in Berlin at nearly 86. A professor since age 30, he taught at Leipzig Zurich Breslau and Berlin and faced an 1882 slander trial over Bismarck but was acquitted. His works center on Italy and Rome. He supported the Boers in the South African War and criticized Britain’s policy.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Theodor Mommsen
Berlin
Germany
Mommsen
Garding
Danish Schleswig
Leipzic
Zurich
Reing
Breslau
Bismarck
Italy
Rome
Mommeen
Britain
Germany mourns Theodor Mommsen, great historian
Prof Theodor Mommsen, one of Germanys greatest sons, has died. He linked modern Germans with scholars like Helmholtz and Virchow, hosted discussions in Charlottenburg, and urged German university freedom and Anglo German understanding. He laid plans for a German state in the United States and favored a liberal socialist alliance. His death ends a direct bridge to 19th century scholarly life.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Mommsen
Theodor Mommsen
Germany
Helmholtz
Virchow
Charlottenburg
Berlin
Dent
Great Britain
United States
Next Senatorial Bridegroom Prompts Senate Matchmaking
Senator Gibson of Montana aged 73, a widower, is named as a likely candidate for marriage among elder senators. Chauncey Depew notes Cupid’s activity in the upper house while colleagues Warren, Clark, Millard, Daniel, and Dillingham, aged 64 to 67, are also widowers.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Senator Gibson
Montana
Chauncey Depew
Cupid
Mr. Gibson
Mr. Clark
S Millard
Nebraska
Daniel
Virginia
Dillingham
Vermont
Warren
Wyoming
Bishop Scott's Semi Centenary Planned in Portland
Rt Rev. Thomas Fielding Scott the first bishop of the Woikeopal church in Oregon was elected Oct 22 1858. The semicentennial of his consecration will occur in Portland Jan 8. He formerly lived in Illinois and secured a $1000 donation from William Aspinwall toward a new church in Oregon.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Scott
Thomas Fielding Scott
Oregon
Portland
Illinois
William Aspinwall
Luxury Apartments For New Yorkers Offer Palatial Features
New York builders are erecting up to date apartment houses with fresh filtered air in every suite, electric suction vents, an electric kitchen closet, long distance telephones, hydrostatic elevators, and extra servants rooms on top floors. Rates show bachelor units from $50 monthly, two rooms and bath from $800, and large suites from $1,500 to $6,000 yearly. Non housekeeping options available with or without chambermaid service.
First French Actress Marie Bairet in 1545 Contract
A sixteenth century Italian and French stage note describes Marie Bairet as the first known French actress with a 1545 contract to perform ancient Rome pieces, farces or soubresauts under manager L Esperonniere. She would receive board and lodging and 12 francs yearly, with any extra audience gifts shared with the manager's wife.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Italy
France
Marie Bairet
Rome
L'Esperonniere
German Embassy in Washington Promises Social Spotlight
Interest runs high as Baroness von St burg plans a active season with the German embassy set to be a social center in Washington. Under Ambassador von St burg, the embassy has been richly decorated with Miss Violet Langham overseeing much of the work. Her sister Miss Ivy Langham may join the ambassadorial household for the winter season.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Washington
Baroness von Stburg
Violet Langham
Ivy Langham
Eminent Author James Barrie Refuses Private Details
Eminent author James M Barrie avoids personal questions from reporters. When pressed for a short autobiography he initially refused, then wrote a brief note in which he describes arriving in London to collect cigars and mentions his grocer delivering a message, noting he does not smoke and feeds on ripe chestnuts.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
James M. Barrie
London
Mr. Barrie
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Future OF
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