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This newspaper page contains 14 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Lititz Record
Location
Lititz, Pennsylvania, United States of America
Date
Jun 29, 1911
Page
6
A sprawling 1910s voice rails against prohibition pledges and moral posturing while recounting odd anecdotes. It mocks anti drinking pledges, details egg and poultry scares, and notes farmers week at State College with a burlesque on turkey stats and Dr Wiley’s warnings.
An 1890s style account explains how telescope sights and crossbar aiming improve naval gunnery by aligning three distant objects. It describes the firing sequence from target sight capture to the loud shell impact, with vivid field observations from an umpire aboard a towing ship.
In a humorous maritime anecdote from the era before steel ships Sir John Phillimore painted one side of his yellow frigate black and white with the words No more paint to mock the navy board. He replied to officials with wit and the ship kept its yellow hue despite the signatures and reprimands.
A London Answers quip notes a laborer asking who ordered the sun to stand still, hinting at a contractor pushing for long days. A Toledo Blade joke follows about a suitor who has dined at a house and will critique all services from breakfast to the cook.
A Chicago Tribune fragment shows Bertha asking to allow smoking in the parlor for an elderly relative. Her married niece agrees, saying aunt can smoke her pipe there if she wishes.
A veterinary tale from Lemberg Austria features Dr N Sobieski deceived by a prank call about a horse rearing on its hind legs beside a Sobieski statue. Other items recount Rosa Bonheur poverty methods, slaughters aiding study, flogging in London courts, and Dr McClintock critiquing a young orator with playful wit.
An Irish harvester in a Scottish town spots a gasometer and asks a passer what it is. The Scot replies he does not know. The Irish man retorts it is a dinner can as big as any he has seen. A private theatre guest remarks a hostess played her part splendidly but is told a young woman is needed.
A woman shows off a new hat to her husband declaring it a darling for ten dollars. He remarks the data could be bought from two fifty up, and she confirms this is one of the ups.
Quotations from Washington Star and Harper's Bazar note Briggens loving his work and enjoying golf time. A humorous contrast shows Mrs Kunicker paying a hundred dollars in doctors bills for a lobster while Mrs Becker eats it to prevent waste.
A concise Chicago Record-Herald musing notes that opportunities to help others are abundant and nearby, not requiring long travel or pursuit. It emphasizes practical, everyday kindness and accessible chances to do good.
A brief classroom exchange where Little Johnny admits knowing nothing about Hans and declares he is a vegetarian, reflecting a playful anecdote from a Sunday school setting.
Local notices list regular gatherings in Rudy's Hall and other venues. Lodges and clubs meet weekly or biweekly, including Lititz Lodge No. 253 K of P B, Garfield Castle No. 76 K G E, Morning Star Temple No. 7, and Lititz Borough Council with monthly sessions.
Bus and trolley timetables show hourly departures from Lancaster and Lititz starting at 5 AM with variations on Saturdays Sundays and holidays. Schedules cover Lancaster Lititz Manheim routes with specific first and last trips and half hour intervals.
Advertisement states commitment to customer satisfaction by offering high grade items. Inventory includes all sizes of coal hard medium and soft, a wide lumber assortment, slate, Victor plaster calcium plaster and pewter sand. Roofing varieties and rubber products are also listed.
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